Photo Journal - Josie Boettcher

Day 87 of my 365 Photo Journal It's NEW YEARS EVE!!! We have BIG plans for the night. We're going to start out with a sick family, throw in some early bed times for the two littlest kids, break out the sparkling cider and board games, and barely make it to midnight with Jonas and Clemi! 🎉🥳 Truly though, it should be a nice night. Jonas and Clemi are SO excited to stay up late and bang pots and pans outside at 12:00am and I can't help but be excited with them. I'll just have to get over the fact that I didn't get nearly enough sleep last night and am existing purely as a zombie-mom right now.  2020 was a terrible year for our nation, but personally, it was a good year for our family. I'm not sad to see it go and, yet, I don't have very high hopes for 2021 either. I think it will be just about the same bad and good as 2020, honestly. 🤷 We'll have to see how it goes! I'll write my New Year's Resolutions in tomorrow's post. I've been think...

Day 86 of my 365 Photo Journal     I've been wanting to get a photo like this forever. Of course, it would have been way cuter if her feet were still small and she was on tiptoes, like I envisioned 😄...but still, cute all the same.  Today was a very, very rough day. Sickness is still coursing its way through our house, although things were seeming to be getting better. The second half of the day, though, Ollie started to behave really oddly. She was lethargic, wouldn't eat or drink, wouldn't take meds, and had a fever suddenly. We were getting so anxious about it that we considered taking her into the hospital for reassurance. We held off though, got her into a warm bath, and gave her some one on one time upstairs in our bed. Well, she ended up puking SO MUCH all over me and my bed. 😳 Like, a fountain of throw up. After we got her clean again and she fell asleep in her towel, while I was getting her dressed. She passed out in her bed after that and has been asleep ...

Day 85 of my 365 Photo Journal The kids all got their Christmas (temporary) tattoos applied today! It was really cute. They all look so adorable with their tough guy arms. This was my favorite photo of the bunch. I think I'll do an Instagram post with all of the kiddos though. 

Day 84 of my 365 Photo Journal  I woke up feeling terrible this morning, but have felt increasingly better throughout the day, which is a relief. Ben is out getting a COVID test right now and I honestly don't know if I want it to be negative or positive. If it were negative, there would be some relief that we could get back to life without having to worry about passing on the virus to anyone. BUT if it were positive, it would be like FREEDOM. I could exist without being constantly afraid of catching COVID, which would be so amazing. I swear, the very first thing I'd do when we were healthy would be to hire our sitters and go out somewhere with my husband. Dinner. A movie. ANYTHING! We are so cooped up in here and it would be great to live without fear for a little while.  Anyway, I took pictures plenty of times today, but most of them were on my cell phone. I took this one of Ollie while she was opening a present that she neglected to open on Christmas Eve, from Mommom and Pop...

Day 83 of my 365 Photo Journal A self portrait. I don't take pictures of myself often, considering I'm not thrilled with the way I look nowadays. Having four children has taken its toll on every aspect of my body: my weight, my gray hairs, my wrinkles, and the list goes on. I don't hate myself anymore (referring only to looks here), thankfully, but I'm just kind of...neutral.  Anyway, I wanted to freeze this moment in time, when I'm exhausted, and over it, and grateful, and full of love, and all of the other feelings, pretty much. Every day, I go through the whole spectrum of emotions, from the lows to the highs, from wanting to run away from it all to wanting to soak up every second of the brevity of my children's youth and my time of being needed so much.  This is me. 37 years old. Tired, full, and totally overflowing with the goodness of God's grace. 

Day 82 of my 365 Photo Journal  This beautiful girl turns 7-years-old today. Oh, her birth. It was INTENSE. No meds, the day after Christmas, a whole room full of witnesses to my torture. Thank God, she was born healthy and I recovered pretty quickly. But it was rough! And so were the next 9 months or so, because this little girl has ALWAYS been super sensitive and we had no idea why she cried constantly when she was an infant.  Fast forward to now and, although still sensitive, she is a joyful light in our home. She is quick to smile and rarely says a negative word to anyone. She is a peacemaker and a hugger. She is thoughtful, considerate, and is always the first kid in the house to wipe away a tear and give a kiss. She is also competitive, loves winning, and laughs like a maniac every time she does. 😳 We love her so much and appreciate the special role in our family that God gave her to fill. Not one of us can imagine being as kind as she is...at least not so consistently!...

Day 81 of my 365 Photo Journal Today should have been incredible. Everything was set up perfectly, the kids were surprised and happy, and we all got lots of things that we wanted for Christmas. It should have been an amazing day. And for everyone else, I think it was? For me, not so much. I ended up feeling overwhelmed and very, very frustrated for most of the day, instead of feeling joy and peace...like I wanted (expected, maybe?) to feel. I've been thinking about it a lot and the biggest thing I can pinpoint is the entitled behavior my children (probably most American children) exhibit. I try to keep things moderate: 10 stocking stuffers and 4 gifts each, not including the small things that they buy each other. And it's not that they act like they deserve more gifts or anything like that, it's more that they act like I should be bowing and scraping to serve them each second of the day, as if all of this wasn't because mom orchestrated it in the first place.  For inst...

Day 80 of my 365 Photo Journal It's Christmas Eve! And I'm sick. Well, technically, nearly all of us are sick. 😔 All 3 girls have runny noses and I am fading fast. Luckily, I got almost ALL of the wrapping done far ahead of time, so it won't be a super crazy night. [Edited to add: got to bed by 9:30!] During the day today, I decided to get all of the kids dressed into something other than pajamas, kind of did their hair, and took actual photos...not just candids! I got some nice ones! But man, Ollie is a terrible photography subject! I took dozens of photos of her that would have been so adorable, but she is a blur in nearly every single one (the one she isn't blurry in will probably be my post for tomorrow)! 😢 I'm thinking this was an issue with my camera settings, because the light was a little low and I'm still working on my low-light photography. I might throw one of the ones that could have been awesome down at the bottom of this post, just because I want...

Day 79 of my 365 Photo Journal CHRISTMAS EVE EVE!!! There has been so much anticipation leading up to Christmas this year. I know there is every year, but after the year we've had, I think so many of us feel like we've "earned" an especially magical Christmas. But you know who makes Christmas so extra magical? Moms. That means me, in this family. Cleaning, cooking special meals, making sure gifts are 'just right', Christmas jammies, and so on, and so on. I'm excited, but I already have this growing sense of...something. Trepidation? Maybe it's just that feeling that as soon as it's over, the let down begins and then what do I have to look forward to? Anyway, it was a light day, photography-wise and the pictures I did get weren't great. Here is one of the girls dancing to/standing around watching The Wiggles this afternoon. :) But, goodness, look how clean that room is! Not for long!

Day 78 of my 365 Photo Journal Today was a fun day! I had lots of opportunities to take pictures today, but my camera battery was dead. 😒 Thankfully, my iPhone takes great pictures too, so I shot on that! I got pictures of Ollie acting silly in our bed this morning, pictures of the girls playing with blocks, pictures of Ollie by the Christmas tree, and pictures of our cat napping (of course). I hoped for a relaxing day today and I got one. It was a GOOD day. 😍

Day 77 of my 365 Photo Journal Another picture from when we went to Homestead Park the other night (because I didn't take any photos yesterday...or today. Whatever. I'm a day behind in writing this post! This little girl is just so adorable and sweet sometimes. Other times, she makes me absolutely crazy. This night she was much closer to sweet. :)

Day 76 of my 365 Photo Journal We went and saw Christmas lights at Homestead Park tonight! It was actually a blast. 😀 Not too cold and the hike wasn't too long. Of course, you know I was just taking pictures half of the time and was barely in any of them...but still, it was a fun time. Totally out of the normal for us, because we very rarely go out...especially at night.  It was interesting trying to get decent pictures in the dark. I think I got 12 that I like, out of 71. I was really unsure which one to post on the blog, because, like I said, 12 photos that I like! I think this one, although a bit blurry, is one of the most interesting pictures. And (as always) I love photos with all four of my kids in them. 

Day 75 of my 365 Photo Journal  We had a wonderful day, full of games, relaxing, and baking. Really, such a beautiful day! I may have to start a series (if I can ever get my angle right) at the small table. It's where a lot of the arts, crafts, games, and creativity take place in the house. I always want to capture it in some beautiful way, but I end up getting a weird angle because of the awful light fixture that hangs there. New house project?? Hmm...  Here is Ben, playing Exploding Kittens with the kiddos. And our light fixture, that is taking up 1/5 of the space. 😒

Day 74 of my 365 Photo Journal Look at this snow! It's the PERFECT packing snow, great for snowballs and snowmen. Ben and the kids DID build an adorable snowman, but my photos of it didn't turn out because of the normal chaos. But as he was rolling up the body, every bit of snow came off of the ground!  I'm including the blurry snowman picture at the bottom, here, just for the record!

Day 73 of my 365 Photo Journal I had to work on this for a couple of days, but I love how cute it turned out! The progression of having no stuffed animals to being overwhelmed with animals was perfect for her, because in this house, we take our stuffed animals very seriously. We have HUNDREDS of them.

  Day 72 of my 365 Photo Journal HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JONAS!!!!!!! He is 9 years old today and it just feels...surreal, in a way. In another way, it feels perfectly natural. I am getting older, he is getting older, and I'm happy for both of us - maturing, becoming more patient, learning more about ourselves. There's nothing wrong with growth. Until I recognize that someday he's going to grow enough that he's an adult, on his own in this crazy world. That breaks my heart. But no need to dwell on future broken hearts today! My handsome, blue-eyed boy, the one who made me a mother, who helps me and teaches me to be better, the one I'll probably always have a soft spot for...he is another year older and I'm so thankful that he is mine and I am his. 💓💓💓

Day 71 of my 365 Photo Journal  Finally getting a photo up that shows off the beautiful paper snowflakes we made! The girls were working on a very frustrating art project here. They were gluing together pieces of felt and Clem ended up in tears because the felt just wouldn't glue together. 😐 So much for that one! 

Day 69 of my 365 Photo Journal I have been trying to get the hang of taking photos in the dark, with one little source of light. I KNOW it's possible, but I've never managed to get a good one...until today? Kind of? haha Anyway, I asked Jonas (He's almost 9! Can you freaking believe it?!?) to be my model while I tried to figure it out. I took dozens of photos and finally found a trick that worked. I pulled out my cell phone flashlight to get the camera to focus on Jonas and then pulled it back so that it just barely lit him and the camera stayed focused. Then I was able to get pictures of my subject, rather than just the Christmas tree with a blurry Jonas over and over. Clearly, Jonas is still very dimly lit in this picture, but I did get a few that were brighter. I just liked this one the most. :)

Day 70 of my 365 Photo Journal "Toes!"  I get a little worried about these two. Ollie picks on the cat, the cat picks on Ollie. And although having Murphy has been generally wonderful, this is really the one thing that I've been concerned about. Will they end up loving each other? Will they ever get used to being around each other and stop fighting? Only time will tell. I'm hoping for the best though! They seem to do a little better every day. And whether or not their relationship is a little rocky, they take suuuupppper cute pictures together. 😍 We're going to decorate our front door like a snowman today for our Christmas-time craft! I've somehow managed to continue doing some kind of Christmas activity every day...for five whole days. 😆 Obviously, that's not very long, but there's only 11 days until Christmas, so...maybe?!? Plus, I've managed to keep up this blog for 70 days and if I can do that, surely I can do one measly Christmas activity a ...

Day 68 of my 365 Photo Journal We made these huge snowflakes out of paper bags today, in addition to smaller ones made out of sheets of paper. It was a pretty fun project and the whole family got to participate, meaning Ben was there to help! Woohoo! Here are the bigger ones that the kids made. I'm hoping to post a photo of the finished project tomorrow. I've gotten about half of the snowflakes hung so far. I'm hoping to make some Christmas treats tomorrow. :)

Day 67 of my 365 Photo Journal Yay!!! It's the weekend!  I've been doing this thing where I'm trying to be a fun mom again. It's not easy, I'll tell you. I have planned crafts and treats for all of the days leading up to Christmas and managed to do them yesterday and today, so far. I really want to get that Christmas excitement and joy stimulated and I feel like this kind of stuff helps. Maybe?  What doesn't help is that at some point during every day I end up going full-on psycho at one of the kids. Today it was Ruby. :( I took all three of the girls out with me to run some errands and, as a special treat, I took them to the patio of one of my favorite places to eat, La Chatelaine. I got each girl a croissant and we got a baguette to share. Needless to say, Ruby thought that everything I offered was disgusting and proceeded to scream and cry loudly for the entire time we were at the restaurant. We're outside, mind you, so each passerby is staring at us, as ...

Day 66 of my 365 Photo Journal     Oh, how I wish my counters were cleared off in this photo. 😅 I glanced over at one point today and witnessed this little interaction going on between toddler and kitten. I thought it was adorable (wild bedhead and all!) and had to get a photo. I showed Ben and he didn't seem impressed, so maybe it's just me!  

During these quarantined, at-home school, working from home days, we spend a lot of time in different areas of the house, doing our own things. I went around the house and photographed everyone where they were at 10:45am. I was determined to get a picture of her with the tree in the background! It took a little chasing and lots of blurry pics, but I got one, finally. I like the way her hair is flying around a little, like she's in motion...which she was. :) Olive spends lots of time watching Cocomelon and crying. Fun times! This little girl stayed home from school sick today. She has a belly ache and slept an extra two hours this morning! Her beautiful, long eyelashes and soft, glowy look in this picture are so pretty.  My two biggest doing their school work. Well, one of them is doing work, the other finds reasons to get up and run around as often as she possibly can.  Benny doing work in his office space, making that paper.  This little guy, soaking up the warmth from t...

Day 65 of my 365 Photo Journal Yes, it's another cat photo, but he's just so photogenic and adorable! I love the way his little tail is up, like he's about to pounce. In the series of shots I took, he went from mostly hiding in the curtain to having his face take up the whole frame. 😆 Not only did I take out my camera today, but I got pictures of the whole family. I'm going to do a special edition check-in post...for myself and the three people who have access to this blog. 😁

Day 64 of my 365 Photo Journal Brrroooom brrrroooom! We moved this Smart Car toy that has been passed through all four of the kids into Olive's room a few weeks ago and she has really enjoyed figuring out how to play with it. We don't spend a lot of time upstairs in the kid's rooms, but I spent some time with her up there today when she woke up from her nap and she was really cute, driving her cars all over the tracks and getting so excited to see them go down the ramps on their own.  This is another iPhone photo. I did pick up my camera today, but the shots I got really weren't great. 

Day 63 of my 365 Photo Journal It's literally like Murphy was posing for me. 😆 He's been the sweetest addition to the family. Now, if only we could get Ollie to stop being so evil towards him.  This was shot with my iPhone. I didn't get my camera out today. Still struggling with depression, but I have managed to be productive and get things done. Christmas cards are going out tomorrow! 

Day 62 of my 365 Photo Journal The blah continues over here, in my little mind. I want to be excited for the season, and I am! , but I'm just stuck stuck stuck in this funk. Working on it though! I had a tough time editing this photo. It was all out of whack, proportionately, and the colors were really funky in the photo, even though they're vibrant and pretty in reality. I decided to stop editing and just post at this point, because everything I was doing started to make it worse, instead of better. I thought it was very Christmas-y though, Ollie up there in her Christmas sweater, surrounded by all of the Christmas decorations and books. And I love the reflection of the tree lights in the fireplace.

Day 61 of my 365 Photo Journal Still feeling blah, but Ben encouraged me to get outside and put our Christmas lights up, which I'm glad I did! Ruby "helped" me for a bit, by putting bulb covers on that had fallen off.  And this swingset has been a long time coming. We brought a dilapidated, old play house with a swing set over from a neighbors house a few years ago and as we got it set up in our yard, we realized the swing set portion was just falling apart. I saved some of the hardware to build my own and here we are! Only took a few years. 😊 The kids are loving it and I'll love it too...once they stop fighting about it every single time we go outside. 

Day 60 of my 365 Photo Journal Still no photography here today. Still feeling bummed and overwhelmed by just normal life. I hate that depression does that to me; makes me feel like normal, everyday things are too much to handle. Praying this is over quickly! I'm still taking my Trintellix regularly and it works pretty well, but...whatever.  Here's another photo of Christmas tree decorating! I love Ruby's expression here. I have no idea what she was so surprised by, but it's still cute. :)

Day 59 of my 365 Photo Journal Time to bring it back to the tree farm! I've been hit with a little wave of depression over the last couple of days. It makes it hard to get anything done and makes it especially hard to take pictures and try to find beauty. Not that there isn't a lot of beauty around to be captured! Just struggling to feel like looking for it.  Top photo is Poppop shaking off a tree and Jonas backing away as the snow flew everywhere. Bottom photo is Ben and the kids taking our chosen tree back towards the car.

Day 58 of my 365 Photo Journal Tree decorating is one of those annual traditions that I look back on with such fondness. The ambiance, the anticipation of Christmas, the cheesy Christmas music, the eggnog, the fun, the joy! But if you asked my parents, they might remember it differently: the whining, the lazy kids, the just wishing is was over already so everyone could go sulk alone somewhere. The truth is, that our memories are biased. And Lord, I hope that my memories become biased over time when I look back on my own family's Christmas tree decorating evenings! 😅 The kids love every second of it, but I tend to be stressed, uptight, and desperately wanting it to be over. There's no relaxation in it at all. Not one second. I can only pray that I'm hiding my irritation enough for my kids to enjoy the evening and look back on our decorating nights with as much fondness as I look back on my own.  As far as the photography aspect of it goes, I was disappointed with what I end...

Day 57 of my 365 Photo Journal We picked out our Christmas tree today! I just love all of the Christmas traditions and seeing how excited the kids get about the holiday. I was especially excited to have my parents with us to get the tree this year! We went to a little place called TNTrees that is really close by, but we've never heard of before. I'm not entirely sure we'll go again, but it was there for us in a pinch and we appreciate it! It's honestly a tree farm in someone's back yard. 😅 I'm thankful we made an appointment, because I have no idea where we would have parked otherwise! The owner was sweet and the prices were reasonable. All in all, it was a good, cold, snowy experience. I took some photos that I REALLY love out here at the tree farm(?)/yard, so we might be coming back to this another day! As it is, I couldn't just choose 1. 

Day 56 of my 365 Photo Journal SNOW DAY!!! As exciting as that is, it's been pretty warm, so it's more like a slush day. But that doesn't stop the kids from being out of their minds excited and running outside to play in the snow. 😂 Poor Olive wasn't taken outside to experience the wonders of the sopping wet, muddy yard and instead stared out the window longingly with Sadie. 💕

Day 55 of my 365 Photo Journal I didn't actually take any pictures this day (yesterday), but made up for it today with lots and lots! Marme and I baked a couple of different kinds of cookies today and Ollie "helped". :) This photo of Ollie being her ornery little self gets honorable mention. 😆

Day 54 of my 365 Photo Journal Caught these two lovebirds snuggled up on the couch together, climbed onto a chair, took their photo, and they had no idea!  Dad shot this blurry photo of me, Ben, and all the kids and I just loved how natural and "us" it is. :)