Photo Journal - Josie Boettcher

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CLEMI!!!! 11 years ago today, I gave birth to her at Doctor's Hospital West with no meds, screaming in agony, on my hands and knees, with a whole room full of people watching. She has kept us on our toes since! Of course, we're on our toes in entirely different ways nowadays. I know she's not going to dump black paint out and smear it all over the floor, like she did when she was 4. I also know she's not going to eat a tub of vaseline, like she did when she was 5! But I have no idea how she's going to handle the pressures of pre-teen life and I have no idea how to navigate the capriciousness of her moods! But I'm so thankful to be her mom and truly love every day I get to spend with her. She's so responsible, and kind, and empathetic. I have no idea where she gets it! She's growing into this wonderful girl and it's all happening so fast. God blessed us so abundantly when he gave her to us.  We had a fun, family-centric day today. We...

MERRY CHRISTMAS! JOYEUX NOEL! FELIZ NAVIDAD! It's finally here! Honestly, I don't know why I even said finally. Yes, it feels like we've been counting down forever, but it also feels really sad that the day is over. Now all we have to look forward to are the doldrums of January and February.  The day was really nice though. I didn't get nearly enough sleep, but we spent the whole day enjoying each other in our cozy, comfortable house. We played with new toys and laughed and relaxed and it was really just perfect. Messy, but perfect. Dennis and Hazel came over around 2 and stayed for dinner, as always. It was awkward, also as always, but fine. It's only awkward with them because we see them so infrequently and that's our fault as much as it is theirs. Idk, I guess there are different trains of thought on it. Who should be the one initiating more? The child or the parent? My lean is towards saying it's the parent's responsibility to make sure that the rela...

Yay! Christmas Eve! I had a really relaxing morning, just watching a Christmas movie with the kids and drinking my tea. And then Ashley texted. So. Yesterday, I got a little time to catch up with her and hear how things were going since she moved out of her house. Everything is really a mess. I've been avoiding her for a while, but our girls love each other and I don't want any of them to suffer because some of Ashley's beliefs are offensive to me. I had offered to watch the girls if she ever needs a break or just has some stuff to do that she'd rather not bring them along for. Well, she texted today asking if I could watch them. My first thoughts were very selfish...'but it's Christmas Eve! I'm trying to relax!' Alas, I said yes. What choice did I really even have?? But it was good. Ashley and I talked a little when she dropped them off and the girls were perfectly behaved while they were here. They barely made a mess and just played peacefully with toy...

It's the eve of Christmas Eve!!! Ben woke me up to say goodbye at 7am and I just couldn't fall back asleep. So I decided to get up and start baking cookies! In my mind, I was going to be in the stillness and quiet of my kitchen, drink a cup of tea, and bake some goodies to surprise the kids with when they woke up. What actually happened was that Ollie and Ruby came down within two minutes of me because they "heard something exciting happening". Ollie proceeded to lay on the ground right next to the kitchen and request things of me while I tried to bake. "Can you get me some milk?" "Why can't I have milk right now?" "Are you making me banana muffins?" "Can I have one right now?" "What's for breakfast?" "Can I crack the eggs for you?" Very relaxing. I really got some good time to meditate on the season. *eye roll* An hour later, everyone was awake and working on their chores...which resulted in loud bic...

Clem woke up with a big white spot in her throat today, making Ben and I super anxious about what this might be kick-starting! We're going to try to get her a doc appt. tomorrow and hope that antibiotics make her well enough that we can still go to DE and join in all the festivities (although I don't really feel like doing the trip at all!).  I took the rest of the kids to CT with me and it was so much more relaxing not having Ben there to rush us out afterwards. I know that's sad, but he's always push, push, pushing! I just want to sit and visit with people and take advantage of the things CT is offering...this week it was cocoa and cookies...but he wants to get out of there as fast as humanly possible, as soon as the teaching is over. I got to catch up with a few people that I haven't seen since I started coming back again. I'm still lamenting the fact that it feels like I'm starting all over again in the spiritual maturity from Dwell's POV category. I...

Today was pretty darn productive! I finished up the flooring for the WHOLE room in the morning!!!! Woo! Finally done! And then Ben and I worked on replacing the fan, which was a bit of a mess. We used the wrong screws and now the fan is hanging 1/4" from the ceiling, but it doesn't shake or anything, so I guess we're all good! I don't think I'll be in a rush to buy anymore LED light fixtures though. This one is just not bright enough. It's so much more dim in the room than it was when we had the regular 3-bulb fan/light in there. But this one has a remote and can turn rainbow colors and it makes Clemi happy! I also installed the door today, which was a little anxiety inducing. It's such a big deal if you make a little mistake! It affects the way the door hangs forever. Ben helped for like 20 minutes and then started complaining about how the job was "going on forever". I'm like, dude, it's been 20 minutes. What was your expectation for how...

Today was a VERY good day. We got school done quickly and we are officially on winter break!!! Woo! I spent an hour and a half or so on the floor after school and it went pretty smoothly, thank God. Clem is getting really fast at gluing now too and it’s really been helpful to have her in there with me. I’m up to the closet now, but needed a few more planks of wood to actually finish the room, unfortunately. FORTUNATELY, it gave me most of a day off! I showered, then hung out on the couch playing Witcher for almost 2 hours. And I didn’t even have to cook; we got Chinese for dinner. After dinner, Ben and I ran out to get the new door for Clem’s room and then came back and chilled in our respective areas, him in the basement, me on the couch. Well, I got it in my mind that it’s rainy and pretty late. It probably won’t be crowded at Wild Lights tonight. I suggested it to Ben, sure he’d shut it down, but he agreed that we should try! We all rushed around and changed out of our pj’s and into...

We had school in the morning today, along with plenty of attitudes. But it was fine. After that was over, I worked on the floor again. I definitely spent some time feeling bitter that I’ve done everything in this entire project by myself…aside from some help with painting. It was Ben’s idea and I guess I’m the unpaid labor! It is looking beautiful, though, and it’s given me a goal, which I sometimes need to get off my ass. I met up with Grace for coffee/tea this afternoon and it was super sweet. We haven’t caught up in a long time. I’m so grateful that she reached out to me! She’s really lonely. I hope she has more friends than it seems like she has. Sadly, we’re just not the types of personalities that would get close, I don’t think. We’ve known each other for 8 years now and we like each other a lot, but that’s it. Maybe because our kids never clicked with each other? Idk. Anyway, it was good to catch up and we both got to talk about how much of a struggle it is to reclaim some of th...

I started the floor in Clem’s room today! I was so angry, just thinking about getting dressed and going to Home Depot after doing school, but I really wanted to get this done by her birthday, so I need to get a move on! I went to the store and grabbed the floor glue, which I’ve come to realize must be the devil’s design. It’s the worst. Anyway, the flooring went in ok. It took a while for me to get a groove, but I worked for a few hours and got about 1/3 of it done. I had hoped for half, honestly, but I guess I’m just one person! Clemi did help a bit with gluing and I’m thankful for that. So glad I didn’t have to go to any choirs today!!!

Well, the cheesecake was finally set today, so we got to eat that! It was actually delicious, but a little too rich for me to eat more than a few bites. In the morning, we went to Sharon Woods with Wild and Free. It was a nice time with the ladies. A little frustrating that my kids mostly stick to themselves. I’m getting more worried over time that they just don’t really have good friends. And I know that this homeschooling lifestyle is just different. They don’t see the same kids every single day and it’s harder for them to form those bonds. Also, the kids they do see are the children of busy, protective moms (like me) who aren’t eager to drive their kids around to other people’s houses to hang out. I think they’ll be able to branch out more as they get older and I’m not overly worried, but it is a downside of homeschooling. I wish there were more kids in the neighborhood that my kids liked.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JONAS!!!!! 13!! Woo! Dang, this kid has grown up on me in the blink of an eye. He is growing into this responsible, kind, thoughtful, and brave kid. He makes us laugh and surprises us with his inventiveness and originality all the time. He’s kind and loving towards his sisters…most of the time, which is really impressive! It’s hard not to lose your patience when you’re any age, let alone a pre-teen/early teenager! Ben and I have been so blessed to be his parents for these last 13 years. Watching him grow into his own unique personality has been such a privilege. We did most of our going out stuff yesterday, so today was a pretty chill day. I was on top of all the cooking and cheesecake prep all day! I was very proud of myself. Until I realized that the cheesecake had to cool for at least 6 hours and I was obviously not going to have that long. That bummed me out. But Jonas wanted a buffet of dips, so I made nacho cheese, spinach and artichoke dip, and buffalo chicken ...

We spent today prioritizing and celebrating Jonas! Ben has to work late tomorrow, so we did it today. He asked for a bacon omelette for breakfast, which Ben made for him and then we planned to go to hibachi for lunch, but it was closed! I asked if he’d want to do Olive Garden instead and that turned out to be great. All of the kids ate and we had a nice (but very, very old) server. She was pretty darn slow.   He got free dessert and a happy birthday song too! When we got back from that, we popped a few bags of popcorn and had a movie afternoon watching Red One. Actually, a really, really fun Christmas movie! We loved it. We didn’t do anything special for dinner, since we’re doing his big dinner on his actual birthday. But it was a good day! This is a photo of him from a few years ago that I just love.

Finally, the choir concert streak is over! Today was our fourth one in a row. Granted, todays was also the most beautiful. The choir sounded amazing and there was an actual production. It was really nice. We sat in the front row, right next to where the choir director sat during the times when she wasn't directing. I wanted to put in a good word for my girls, since they've told me she's not very nice to them, but it wasn't actually a good time for that, during the concert and all.  Aside from the concert, we picked up the flooring! I don't feel capable or motivated to put in the flooring at all right now. I am really struggling with motivation. It seems like I'm going to be doing this project largely alone and that's probably a big part of it. Ben is so overwhelmed with work and has been for so long. I don't know why I believed for a second that he'd actually be in on this with me...despite the fact that it was his darn idea! It feels like every conv...

Man, I woke up PUKING today. It was terrible! I felt awful for hours and threw up a couple of times. I ended up napping and laying in bed until 11 but finally joined the land of the living downstairs after that. I feel so sad that it means we'll have to cancel dinner with the Browns tomorrow, but better safe than sorry.  I rallied a bit later on to go to Ruby's choir concert in the evening. It was pretty short, but it was cute. And, after going to two of Clem's concerts already, I feel like it's important that Ruby knows we're supporting her equally...even if I am not feeling my best! Thankfully, Ben can't stand to stay anywhere for long, so we were gone within an hour. 

We did school this morning and I didn't do too much throughout the day. I touched up paint in the bathroom and am *this* close to being entirely done with that room. I still need to touch up the baseboards and put in a couple of towel hooks and change out one of the outlets. I did change out most of them today and, guess what, ELECTROCUTED myself! It was very mild. Honestly, nothing to write home about. But it's funny because Ben has stressed to me so many times that I can't take for granted that the power has been turned off to the entire room. I need to check each outlet before messing with the wires. Well, I did not do that and one of the outlets in the back of the room was still live. *face palm* I'm grateful that nothing terrible happened because of it, just a little shock.  In the evening, we went to Clemi's choir concert in Westerville and Brit joined us! It was pretty short and sweet and Clem's solo sounded so beautiful. I went to cell group afterwards a...

There was a lot of tension in the house for a lot of the day. First off, Ben has been anxious and frustrating all day. Like, calling me and texting me with all of his stresses and just dumping them on me and then getting off the phone. I eventually said I thought it was unfair that he was treating me like his anxiety sponge, and he was like, "Oh, I'll remember that for next time." And then he was annoyed with me all night. So sorry that I expect you to do adult things without acting like a child. Anyway, that was super annoying, but I'm trying to talk myself down from overreacting about it. He's obviously just stressed out and doesn't know how to handle it, so he turns to the only person he trusts to talk to about his stressors. I just wish I wasn't the only outlet he had.  Aside from Ben stress, I went into the room where I keep the presents today and saw that someone had been in there and opened up a box. I confronted the kids and nobody confessed. So, n...

I was going to skip today because of the rain, but felt obligated to go to Wild & Free because it was the Christmas party. None of us enjoyed it much and 1/2 of us got too muddy but it was fine. Afterwards, we went to see Moana 2! It was really good. I didn't enjoy the music as much as the last one and there were some things about it that were just a little less fun, but ultimately it was a good movie and we had a really fun time at the theater. Sadly, Ollie knocked over our huge XL tub of popcorn AS SOON AS we sat down. Clemi jumped right up and cleaned the whole mess up with her hands. She can be so sacrificial that way. It makes me feel really proud of her. I never want to be the helper.  The rest of the afternoon was pretty good and I went to a MNO with CACH in the evening. It was so fun. I got lots of great gifts, ate lots of great snacks, and had lots of great conversations. I really do love this group and these ladies are so good. I ended up staying later than I expected...

Ben and I both went to HC tonight! He was super anxious about it, but it turned out to be really good. He had good conversations and so did I. There are some new couples joining, which is a little tough for us. In a way, it's fun to get to know new people, but there's so much insecurity in it for me too. I don't actually want new friends, and I don't want to share my old friends. In reality, though, I don't have a say in any of this! I am just working on accepting whatever happens with some kind of grace. 

Today was a good day! We got up and went to CT. The teaching was awesome, and it felt like everywhere I looked there were friendly faces. It feels good to be back where I'm comfortable and surrounded by people I know. We even hung out for a little while afterward without Ben complaining! Amazing. After CT, we stopped and grabbed some Cane's. Ben bought a meal for Kwin and brought it over to him when he got home. He said Kwin started crying when he gave it to him and texted him later, asking him to come over again tonight. I am annoyed about it, but I also want Ben to love on his friend for as long as he can. He likely doesn't have more than a week to hang out with him and they really are close. But I kind of don't want to do bed time alone again and don't want to hang out with the big kids by myself again either. Alas, I can suck up my selfishness for another night.  We were VERY productive this afternoon. We got Clem's room painted, I changed out all of the ele...

We hosted a post-Thanksgiving dinner with the Shauls today. It was a lot of work! But a pretty good time. Poor Jonas and Clem had an awful time dealing with Riven and Kiera though. Conversation between me and Kylienne was a little stunted at first, but we moved past it and ended up having plenty to talk about. The whole morning was spent cleaning and doing laundry and prepping food. After they left, we ran to Home Depot to get the paint for Clem's room and new light switches and whatnot. All of ours are taupe and we want to do a complete overhaul, so they're all going to be white now! Honestly, the thing that's making me dread switching the outlets the most is the fact that we have to turn off the breakers. Ours are not labelled correctly so we have to try a bunch of them and then reset all the clocks. 😅 I know it's ridiculously lazy of me! I should really just try to label them correctly so that doesn't continue on forever. It's just the breaker box is in a yu...

We had co-op this morning and, I have to say, I'm really starting to come around to it. I don't love teaching the kindergarten class. I hope I can be moved somewhere else next year! But, if not, I can handle it. At least I'm not with the little kids! I don't think I'd be able to deal with that nonsense. Anyway, I do like the format a lot and the ladies are very nice. It's also cool to be able to catch up with Anne, Christine, and Jillian. Jonas loves it there too, which means a lot to me.  I let a few people know that we're not moving today and, while I am embarrassed still (at least a little), I have to admit that it felt good to see other people's excitement and happiness to hear that we're staying. I get so wrapped up in my own feelings that I often feel like I don't have any friends, but seeing people's joy at the news that we're staying makes me feel like those feelings are probably not true. Thankful that God provides for me so boun...

Okay, one thing that required a bunch of prep down, three more to go this week! I have a ton of stuff I need to get done for co-op tomorrow, I wanted to get some snacks and maybe a drink for girls night tomorrow, and we're having a post-Thanksgiving dinner with Kylienne's family on Saturday. I feel like I'm going to drop the ball somewhere! I'm trying though. I didn't forget anything today and I got all the food prepped in time.  Jenny came by this morning so we could talk. It was good. I wanted to apologize again and kind of see where she was with us coming back to HC. It kind of feels like I'm being edged out with the incoming group of potential new members. It makes me feel intimidated! But I'm trying to just get past that. No, I haven't been going for a couple of months, but this is my HC and has been for years. I'm not going to get edged out.  We headed to the CACH Christmas party right after she left and that was a lot of fun for the kids. It w...

Dude. Ben is SO sick. He started vomiting at about 4am and didn't stop for hours. He threw up so many times. So gross. And I feel really bad for him! He just doesn't know how to act when he's really sick. He kept muttering about getting fired every time he was awake.  We did our last day of school for the week! I'm so in the Christmas mood. I just want school to be done for the month, as impractical and ridiculous as that it. I also worked on cleaning out the new shower basin, since it was spotted with all kinds of glue and grout and paint. It's looking much nicer now. I kept hoping I'd get a chance to work in Clemi's room too, but with several loads of laundry, dishes, meals, and driving to and from choir all afternoon, I just didn't get to do it. It wasn't a great day for Ben to be down for the count! But we got through it. 

We didn't go to Wild & Free this morning because it is absolutely FRIGID today. Nobody else really went either though, so I don't feel too bad! We got school done this morning and then I spent about an hour cleaning and organizing Ollies old/Clemi's new room. I want to get it cleared out and the walls clean so that we can get the trim off and get it ready to paint. Susan stopped by for a hangout today, which was really nice. I haven't caught up with her since the summer. I felt really loved that she took the initiative to reach out to me and drove all the way over here. The kids got into the hot tub by themselves in the late afternoon, because neither me or Ben was in the mood to get in with them! It feels like I've just been doing stuff nonstop lately. I don't think it's a bad thing, but I'm pretty exhausted.