December 24, 2024 - Tuesday


Yay! Christmas Eve! I had a really relaxing morning, just watching a Christmas movie with the kids and drinking my tea. And then Ashley texted. So. Yesterday, I got a little time to catch up with her and hear how things were going since she moved out of her house. Everything is really a mess. I've been avoiding her for a while, but our girls love each other and I don't want any of them to suffer because some of Ashley's beliefs are offensive to me. I had offered to watch the girls if she ever needs a break or just has some stuff to do that she'd rather not bring them along for. Well, she texted today asking if I could watch them. My first thoughts were very selfish...'but it's Christmas Eve! I'm trying to relax!' Alas, I said yes. What choice did I really even have?? But it was good. Ashley and I talked a little when she dropped them off and the girls were perfectly behaved while they were here. They barely made a mess and just played peacefully with toys and watched The Star with our kids. When Ashley came back to get them, the girls got really sad and begged to stay. I'm sure all of the changes have been really tough for them. Ellie told me she hates being home now. :( So tough for them all! But I only ended up watching them for an hour and a half or something and it didn't inconvenience me at all. I wish my first instincts weren't always so selfish!

Sadly, my selfish instincts did not improve throughout the day. Ben and I ended up fighting and then he left to play MtG with Jason, Kamola, and Jonas. I was left to do all of the laundry, finish wrapping presents, and get our Christmas Eve dinner cooked, along with cleaning, and somehow maintaining the holiday spirit! Well, I basically had a meltdown. I cried for hours and texted him that if I had anywhere to go, I would not be at the house when he got home. I was in a very, very low place for a few hours. It's crazy to me how quickly my hormones can shift that way. I know that it's because of PMS that things got so bad, but it feels so serious and so real in the moment. It was a mess. He came home soon after that text. He finished cooking dinner while I showered, and then we headed out to Homestead Metro Park for a winter hike. I wasn't sure I wanted to do it anymore, considering I wanted to burn the house to the ground and all, but we went and it was good. We got there 15 minutes before they closed! So it was a short one. After the girls went to bed, we watched Scrooged, as per our Christmas Eve tradition, and we loved it, as always. 





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

May 3, 2025 - Saturday

Image
What a day! It literally rained from start to finish, but we packed as much into it as we possibly could! We had a great time visiting and hanging out. We had a fire and lots of great meals *brushes shoulder off*. The kids played well together and, as far as I know, there wasn't any drama! It was a bit exhausting, but I'm so glad that this retreat went well. Last year's was a bit of a bomb, with all the childcare drama happening behind the scenes. I feel like last year's retreat was a pre-cursor to our deciding to move away. Not that they actually had anything to do with one another, but they happened in such close succession that they seem related in retrospect. I drank a bit too much tonight and had a really fun time singing songs, while Tony played the guitar. Man, I wish I had talent with instruments!
Read more

November 9, 2025 - Sunday

Image
This is my favorite picture from the whole shoot!! I love it.  We went to CT this morning and I actually got to sit in on the teaching! Woo! It feels like that doesn't happen very often. We hung out in the cafe with friends for a little bit, then went to Chipotle for lunch on the way home.  We spent most of the day just relaxing! I started a photo book for our Maine vaca in September, and tried to get caught up with some other stuff, but it was mostly just a chill day. Jonas and Clem went to group and we stayed home, chillin'. Ben and I got in the hot tub with Ruby and Ollie for a little while, which was fun. It was snowing while we were in there!  
Read more

November 24, 2025 - Monday

Image
Today was a very rough day for me. It's not like everything went wrong, I just really struggled to manage my emotions. I had to run out, first thing, to get my pick-up order because there were things in it that we needed for breakfast. Then, somehow, we didn't get school started until almost 9:30. I started with Ruby and Ollie, as usual, and decided to check in with Ollie while I was reading. Okay, related side note, Ruby can't stand it when I ask Ollie questions and not her. But the thing is, Ruby remembers EVERYTHING she hears. She learns super well by just plain old listening. If I ask her questions, she answers them correctly and I never get to gauge whether or not Ollie is learning. She also always blurts out answers because she's so afraid I won't give her an opportunity to show us all how much she is learning. And I get it! She wants praise and to show me that she's a good student and she's learning. I understand. But, because of her constant eagernes...
Read more