Photo Journal - Josie Boettcher

Today was a rough day for me. I was just SO MAD all day (also super hungry) and really lacking any motivation to do anything productive at all. I still did some things (dinner, cleaning, playing with Ollie minimally), but mostly I just sat on my butt and felt bad for myself all day. I seem to be PMSing the week before my period these last several months. Fun! We didn't go anywhere at all today and didn't do anything special. I made turkey soup with our Thanksgiving leftovers, but I'm not a big fan. It's too greasy, I think. Ben likes it though, so I'll still call it a win. I felt like it was important for me to blog today, but now that I'm writing, I don't know why. I was having some very deep, profound, negative thoughts earlier today...but now they're gone! 😅 Anyway, here is our November cul-de-sac picture. Only one of these left! Looking back on the previous 10 months of pictures is actually really fun. Ollie was SO small in the first one! She looks ...

It feels so strange that the year is coming to an end already. In just a couple of days, it will be the last month of 2021. 😳 And if I look back on those New Year's resolutions I blogged about on January 1st(ish), I doubt I've kept any of them. In some ways, 2021 was even harder than 2020. I've been living with a constant anxiety about COVID, but unlike 2020, life is pretty much "back to normal" and I guess we're not supposed to let it affect us anymore. 🤷 The kids are back in school full time and, while it's nice to have these days with just Ollie, the morning rush sets the tone for the day...and that tone is usually, 'I don't have enough time; I'm too irritable; I'm failing my children; I have way too much to do.' And OLLIE. OMG. Ollie. She's just so challenging in so many ways. Ben and I are just functioning; certainly not thriving. And I find myself feeling sad almost constantly, even though I'm not always in periods of de...

It's been a fun couple of days. :) But, despite my best intentions, I did not take any pictures on Thursday and only one picture yesterday. I've been slacking. I did, however, take LOTS of pictures today! And just look at how seductive Ben is being up there! I'm going to go back to Thursday, just to give it a quick recap.  I was really anxious going into Thanksgiving, as I wrote on Wednesday, but once people showed up (Ali, Bryce, Laila, Melis, Cerag, and Naz) and everything was in full swing, the anxiety was gone and I was having a great time! I think the day went really well, dinner was delicious, and everyone had fun. I'm glad we hosted and I'm very thankful for our family and friends.  Yesterday was pretty chill. I took the girls to visit Naz and Melis for a couple of hours and, afterward, we cleaned a bit and relaxed. I sewed some new masks for Ben and we ate tons of leftovers. Not a crazy day and I'm so glad, because we needed some rest after the craziness...

It has been an incredibly productive day. We got our outside lights up, prepped a bunch of Thanksgiving stuff, cleaned, and decorated the inside of the house a bit. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, but I'm also getting incredibly anxious about tomorrow. It's not about the house looking perfect and it's not about the company (I love everyone who's coming here). I think it's just about me wanting everything to go perfectly. Like, I want everyone to leave tomorrow evening thinking, 'that couldn't have been better'. 😅 NO PRESSURE!!! I'm such a mess. WHY do I put these kinds of things on myself? 😭  Can I just say, I love the way the iPhone shot our outside lights at night. The exposure on it is so easy and wonderful! If I had taken my real camera outside, I just don't know...I don't know how to achieve a slower exposure! It's been nearly two years of taking pictures almost every day and I still am such an amateur. That's what I love ...

It's only Tuesday, but it feels like FRIDAY!!! Ben took off for the rest of the week and the kids have off for the rest of the week too. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day with cleaning, and decorating, and food prep, but I'm hoping it's a fun day too. I'm hoping I don't lay awake with anxiety all night thinking about how nobody is going to like my food and everyone is going to think my house is filthy and tacky. 😳 

Tonight was friendsgiving with our home church. I was super dreading it for several reasons: 1. There's always the expectation of hanging out with people I don't know. I did not want to do that. At all. No new people, please! 2. Huge room full of people, no masks. Enough said. 3. 8,000,000 kids running around acting like psychos. 😳  It went fine and I did get to catch up with some people I haven't talked to in a long time. I talked to Kaitlyn's aunt, which wasn't the worst and the food was good. I also kind of appreciated a break in the regular routine of our evenings. Of course, I'm not sure the anxiety was worth it, but whatever! It's time to start being anxious about my own Thanksgiving dinner!

Man, it's been a full week since I posted last. By the dates listed on the title, it will look like a few days less, but I am writing these late. I'm not sure why I haven't been taking pictures or writing lately. I'm feeling uninspired, for sure...but that's not exactly new.  Anyway, for the sake of the blog, it's Saturday. We got the kid's Christmas trees out today and Ollie is so excited about it. She'll just sit and stare at it for minutes at a time. She has also taken every single ornament off and deconstructed them. 😑 Not loving that part of it. Ben and I got to go on a date tonight too! I showered and did my hair AND makeup in preparation. I was feeling pretty snazzy! We went to Grandad's Pizza for dinner and the service was incredibly slow. After an hour, we still hadn't gotten all of our food...but we DID get a call from the babysitter, telling us that Ollie started crying and was inconsolable. We packed up all the food and got the check...

I had two times today when I just wanted to explode on Ollie. First, we were on our way out the door to meet Melis and Naz and after I asked her if she needed to go potty, she peed right on the carpet. So, instead of getting into the car, I took my coat and shoes off, cleaned the carpet, cleaned her, and got her completely changed. I thought we were going to get there early, but instead, I got there 20 minutes late. She didn't do it on accident. She did it on purpose. She was grumpy all morning and after she peed and I got angry, she pretty much cried until we got to the mall. Then, on our way home from our hang out, Ollie put a popcorn kernel in her nostril. She had done it earlier in the day and I managed to get it out easily enough, but I warned her to NEVER do that again, because it could get stuck and we might have to go to a hospital to get it out. Well, I'm driving home and I see her finger WAAYYYY up her nose and then she announces that she put another kernel up there. ...

I couldn't decide which version was better, so I chose both! Monday's play group wasn't announced until super late, so I ended up visiting with Melis and Naz this morning. The girls played so nicely together today...always a relief! And, of course, Melis and I got to sit and talk, which is really fun for me. :) I'm feeling pretty discouraged that a gift I bought for Ben still hasn't arrived. I spent a lot on it and I've been waiting very impatiently for it to get here. It still hasn't come! It's been almost two weeks now. Also, I just got filled with dread when we talked about our finances a little while ago. It's not like we're in bad shape, but we were nearly debt free two months ago and now, with all the Christmas shopping, we have a bunch again. AND the van's check engine light came on, so that's an additional expense that we don't want to deal with! AND! I feel suddenly very stressed about getting things scheduled and taken care ...

I love all things Christmas and winter and snow, but man, I HATE getting the kids out in it. I get so frustrated getting all of their layers of clothes, hats, gloves, boots, and coats on. I'm sweating and angry by the time we get outside. Then, once all of the 15 minutes of snow fun are over, I'm stuck with an enormous pile of soaking wet, muddy clothes to deal with, along with a filthy, wet floor. It's really such a blast. 🙄 Anywho, what a fun snow day! We had a really nice, relaxing day. There was some cleaning, laundry, and food prep going on, but for the most part, it was a nice, relaxing day. 😀

Today was a good day. We went outside and got some yardwork done, we watched Christmas movies, I made chicken noodle soup in the instant pot (so yummy!), and then we watched Shang Chi and the Ten Rings on the big screen in the evening. The movie was great! And the kids were actually behaving pretty well throughout the whole thing, surprisingly. I love relaxing weekends. 😊 I am getting complaints about how dirty the kids bathroom is from the older kids, so maybe I should clean that room at some point. 😑 Quick question: How do you keep a close relationship with your kids when they become pre-teens? I feel like Jonas is pulling away and I'm not really sure how to pull him back to me. It makes me feel really, really sad when I think about it. I try to just keep functioning and keep loving, but I'm so worried that the distance between us is only going to grow wider over time. He always seems discontent. 😔

Can I just complain for one minute? I hate having my period. I'm so freaking sick of it and I wish I could never get a period again. Ever. I'm sick of the headaches, and the cramps, and the BLEEDING that I have to constantly try to be aware of. The headaches are insane. They are just constant. I'm taking medicine 6 times a day and they're still pounding all day. Okay. I'll try to stop. I had an ultrasound in preparation for bariatric surgery this morning. It was fine, but I'm just not a fan of having my routine changed (unless the change makes life easier somehow). It wasn't a big deal, but I had to be out of the house at 8, so I had to get the girls ready before that. After that, Ollie and I met Naz and Melis at the zoo and wandered around for a bit. There weren't many animals out, but the girls didn't seem to notice or care at all. After an hour and a half or so, the girl's moods started to go downhill. We continued to walk around for a bit, bu...

I'm still in shock that nobody else got whatever Ruby had earlier in the week. In a family this big, that never happens! But we're several days past it now, so I'm going to breathe easy and just be thankful.  Today was such a sweet bonus day off with Ben. We went to La Chatelaine for breakfast (which was honestly super over-crowded and we left really quickly because they didn't open the patio), hung out outside, then went and picked up Hot Chicken Takeover (for which we waited 40 minutes!!!) and took it over to Jenny and Alex's house so we could eat lunch and catch up for a bit. Life has kept us from getting together for nearly a month now! Crazy. But it was really good to catch up. I've missed Jenny a lot and, even though she says she didn't, I could tell Ollie has missed the kids too. They played really nicely today. I got to take Jenny's six-month pictures today...a couple weeks late. 😅 Now, I'm just getting ready to grab the girls from the bus s...

I wish it was the end of the week already! Today was a good day though (so far). We had a fun play date with Naz and Melis and the girls were actually in good moods today! There was a little bickering over toys, as always, but nothing like the last couple of times they have played. Me and Melis got to talk a lot while the girls played, which was great. Other than that, we didn't really do anything. I'm making chicken and gravy over mashed potatoes for dinner and then we'll hang out until bed time. 🤷 Not a very exciting night, but hopefully a good one. 

Why does my camera almost ALWAYS set its focus on the wrong thing??? It's always something right next to the face, instead of the face. 😑 I'm going to have to learn to do it manually.  Well, we went to sleep last night thinking everything was good and then Ruby woke me up around 1am, screaming that she had thrown up in her bed. It was so gross. Delirious, me and Ben get her cleaned up and changed, make a bed on our bedroom floor for her, strip her bed, get Clemi to go back to sleep, and then I'm running around getting medicine, and tissues, and a trash can for her to throw up in if she needs to, and a towel. Ben ended up going downstairs to sleep, because he really needed to catch up on some of his lost sleep from the night before. And Ruby did okay. She took about 45 minutes to go back to sleep (she was blowing her nose for nearly ALL of that time), but then she slept until 5am. At that point, she woke up and had to use the bathroom and was screaming that her belly hurt s...

Oh, man. What a day. The kids slept really well last night, but me and Ben? Not so much. I probably got 5-6 hours, but Ben thinks he only got about 3. Not great! We left Marietta around 9am and within a half hour (maybe less?) Ollie had thrown up from car sickness. We pulled over, got her cleaned up, gave her and Jonas Dramamine, and kept going. 10 minutes before we get home, RUBY throws up in the car! Like, three times! She told us she was feeling car sick and we had opened her window, but we were so close to home, so we were totally sure she could hold on until we got there. Nope. SO MUCH THROWUP. We get home, exhausted from having too little sleep, and get to work. Ben gets the girls in the bath and I start cleaning the car. Ruby's booster seat was so coated in vomit that I just threw it away. I couldn't handle cleaning it. I scrubbed the seat with two different cleaners, but I can see that it didn't come out completely. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about th...

We drove over to Marietta today, to spend some time with Ben's parents. It has been a really nice day. They have a ton of property and we spent some time exploring. The kids spent hours outside, just playing happily. Plus, I always appreciate getting to spend time catching up with Hazel and Ben always appreciates having time with his dad. I'm thankful that they're close enough that we can go there for a quick overnight and be back the next day. We'll see how sleep goes tonight!