Photo Journal - Josie Boettcher

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CLEMENTINE!!!! Man, we've had 12 years with this girl and what a blessing it has been. She wasn't the first to make me a mom, but having her taught me patience, and humility, and so much more. I had no idea who I was before her! It has been such a privilege to parent this beautiful, kind-hearted, relational, driven girl. I am so proud of her. She's courageous and tough, but also more than willing to feel ALL of those feelings! She prays and reads her Bible every night, on her own, without any prompting. I love her passion for the Lord and how self-motivated she is to do the right thing. She still challenges me and pushes me to be a more patient and humble woman, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Today was good, but also a little rough. Ben didn't sleep well and was feeling terrible today in a few different ways - emotionally and physically. It was hard to maintain the good mood and excitement when he was dragging and unhappy all day long. I thou...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Today was a great day. The kids woke me up super early today...it was the squealing with excitement that disturbed me! They weren't trying to wake me up that early. But we were downstairs by 7am, settling in for a long day of presents. This is one of the first years that I didn't feel like I wasted a ton of money, which was nice. I hate having that guilt hanging over me, because it turns into resentment towards the kids...as if they're responsible for my spending choices! Anyway, this wasn't one of those years. Everyone seemed very grateful and very excited for all of their gifts! The breakfast bakes turned out delicious and the charcuterie board was easy to get set up for lunch. Dennis and Hazel came to visit around 2:30 and we just sat and visited with them for a few hours, then had Chinese food for dinner together, as always. :) It was good. Relaxing and chill and just good. 

I had some errands to run today, so we went to Kohl's for my pickup order and then to Chick-fil-A for lunch. We also went to Aldi to grab some groceries in the hopes that I will not have to go out again until after Christmas! That is my goal. To stay inside my house for the next two days, uninterrupted. 😅 I forgot that we were supposed to have a play date with Claire and Alli today, so I texted their mom to see if that would still work, then grabbed them on the way home. They ended up being here for a long time. Well, Claire left after about two hours, but Alli stayed for TWO MORE hours. Which was fine, but I think we were all ready for her to go by the time she left! We had our pizza and a movie night and then just hung out in the evening. I did some wrapping and baking today, but it was a pretty good one. It always feels good when we're the house that is full of kids, if that makes sense. Like, my kids like it enough here that they want to invite other people over. It makes ...

Not much to report for today! Everyone's excitement is building for tomorrow and every five minutes someone is screaming at the top of their lungs that it's Christmas Eve. :) Even me!! I spent a lot of time cleaning, organizing, and wrapping today. And cooking! Lots and lots of cooking. I wanted to prep the cinnamon buns for Clem's birthday in advance, so I'm not doing it tomorrow. I also had two breakfast bakes to prep and one more cookie I wanted to bake. I made chicken noodle soup and bread from scratch for lunch today and we just got a rotisserie chicken for dinner, but we made homemade mashed potatoes to go with it. It was very busy, but also very nice! Just relaxing and getting excited and prepping and all that jazz!

I've made a bunch of Christmas cookies! I made treasure cookies, peanut butter blossoms, snickerdoodles, and magic bars, so far. I still plan to make Russian teacakes (I burned my entire batch today. So so so sad!!!), peppermint cookies, mint chocolate chip, and chocolate peppermint!  We started our Christmas break today! While I am so relieved to not have anything on my agenda, I am still not getting out of the funk of not wanting to do anything. I find myself feeling bored and sad, but not willing to do too much. Ollie and I went on a date to Target today. She got Clem's birthday present and I finished getting the last of my stocking stuffers. It feels good to be done shopping, but I'm already sad about the Christmas season ending in a few days. Then I'll just have months of cold, dark, crappy weather ahead of me, with nothing to break the monotony.  I took the kids over to Anne's for a visit today, which was nice. I got lots and lots of baby Millie snuggles. I go...

While there wasn't much going on today, we kept pretty busy...at least with the standards I've had lately. Clem and I went out on a date to Starbucks and Target in the early afternoon and I showered at some point. Lots going on!! It's so pathetic. I just don't want to do anything or go anywhere or see anyone. It feels like ever again, although I'm sure I'll be back to normal eventually. I organized present stuff for a long time and cleaned the house, too.  In the late afternoon, I took Clem to Polaris Mall to go pants shopping. Every pair of pants she has is about five inches too short. And she doesn't care at all, but I do! I can't stand it. I grew up wearing ill-fitting clothes because of our lack of money and I just associate short pants with being poor. I am embarrassed about her pants situation and I have been feeling like I need to try harder to get her stuff that fits better. I bought her like five new pairs in the fall and all of them are way too...

Today was a fun, but busy, day! Clem had her first ever hair appt. at 9am. We ran to Starbucks, then headed over to the hairdresser. Everyone was super nice and Clemi had a great time getting her hair done. She has some disappointment that the blonde isn't as noticeable as she would like it to be and I had some disappointment that the visit still cost $100, even though she's not fully satisfied!!! But, ultimately, it was a good first professional experience for her.  After the hair appt., we squeezed in a little bit of school, then went to their last art class. I ran to Blick to pick up some art supplies for Clem's "want" gift while they were there and then we went to McDonald's for lunch afterwards. Once we got home, I really needed to do school, but I'm SO OVER IT right now! I just want to be done for Christmas break! We did a tiny bit more, but took the rest of the day off.  We had pizza and a movie night tonight and watched Spiderman ! 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONAS!!!! Man, I'm so lucky to have such a great kid. He is so good. He's not just kind and a good brother and a good son, he's also connected and I think that's one of the things I'm most grateful for at this point. Many friends with kids his age have been lamenting about their teens and pre-teens not wanting to spend time with them anymore, rebelling, fighting with them, disappearing into their rooms for hours and hours on end. But Jonas wants to be around. He wants to hang out with us and be in the same room as us and talk to us. It might not last forever, but I'm so glad for it right now! He's 14-years-old and he's still our kid, you know?  It was a good day. We got up and hung out around the house for a while. Then, Ben came home early and we headed to Olive Garden for lunch. After lunch, we went to Get Air for a couple of hours and had the place to ourselves for most of the time! Ben and I spent some time reading while the kids boun...

I know I've been staying home a lot, but I never want it to end. We stayed home and did school today. I need to do a couple more dates still this month, but Jonas's birthday is tomorrow and I have so much prep still to do! I need to wrap his gifts and make his cake and get decorations out. In addition, I still needed to do school today and drive him to and from Lighthouse this morning. School actually went really well today though. None of us were grumpy and we got every single bit of our lessons done. I was so happy! In the afternoon, I started Jonas's cheesecake and prepped dinner.  I did not want to go to home church at all, but I did it! I made it out. And it actually was good. I just have been feeling so distant from people and the more distant I get, the more resentful I get. I know that it's a personal flaw and I'm not proud of it. I have at least learned to question myself when I get like this, but it doesn't stop the feelings from being there. Anyway, I...

We skipped CT today because we got like a million inches of snow and the roads were crazy icy, thanks to the 7-degree weather we had this morning. We did not leave the house today, except for a quick pick up from Giant Eagle. I kind of wished we had gone out somewhere? But at the same time, the weather really was ridiculously awful. Things are ok though. Ben and I are doing really good right now. I'm happy with the kids and my home life. I just hate everything else. I wish I could make it go away! I want to quit everything. I just want to lock the doors and never leave. 

Snowmaggedon!!! We had a snowstorm today that began just as we left to bring Ruby to her choir concert this afternoon and continued on allllll afternoon and evening. We had 5 inches by the time we went to bed! Ruby did a great job at her concert and, crazy enough, almost every person from the Meadow Park small group was there and they all hugged and congratulated her afterwards. It was so sweet! One of the families from the small group was also in the choir; it's not like they were there for us. But it was still really nice. We also had another friend from Wild & Free who was there and we got to chat with her a little bit. Ben was running out to the car immediately when the concert was over because of all the snow. I just wanted to visit a little bit, but he wasn't having it! We spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out and enjoying the weather.

Ok, we finally got a full school day in today. Everyone is better! We went to art class and everyone really enjoyed that. It's funny that they didn't start enjoying it until it was almost over. I really need to clean the house and mop the floors, but I'm still not up for all that mess. I'm not even ready to start cooking again yet! Although, I know Ben really wishes I would. We've just been eating little bits of leftovers or plain rice for the last week.  Clem and I went on a quick date this afternoon to Target. She was begging for this game. 😅 I did go to the mom's night out gift exchange tonight. It was a pretty good time, but I really just didn't feel like being there. I just want to stop doing everything. Can I just stop being a participant in every single part of my life that is outside of my own home?? That's what I really want. Anyway, I think I ate pork tonight, accidentally. I thought they were some kind of veggie fritter, but I heard some peop...

We stayed home all day again, but it was Clem's choir concert, so we ventured out for that in the evening. It was a little more crowded than it has been in the past, but we got our own row and tried to keep away from everyone else! Clem did an amazing job on her solo again this year and she was so grateful to have the opportunity to sing for everyone. I wasn't feeling great still, so I had to miss cell group and our pink elephant. I was looking forward to it so much! 

A rousing rendition of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer from my little sickies! We still did not go anywhere today. No throw up today, but we're not quite healthy yet. Wah.

Clem woke up in the middle of the night throwing up and needed me for each minute of each...session?...of vomiting. I had taken a sleeping pill, though, so I was really groggy and barely able to help. We had an awful day, full of vomit, and sadness, and misery. Jonas is feeling completely better and Ruby was a lot better, but still unable to eat much. Ollie was still vomiting and I felt so-so. Clem cried for most of the day and Ben has somehow still escaped the bug!  I insisted on, at least, reading some of our school books, which nobody seemed to appreciate. I got a little irritated with Jonas because he's been better for days, yet still seems to be annoyed at the thought of doing school! Also, all the girls had to do school on Friday while he was laid up on the couch, so it only seems fair to me that he do some work while other people are sick. Anyway, nothing happened today of note. Clem and Ruby are sincerely hoping they can go to choir tomorrow and I'm just feeling uncomfo...

It was my turn today! I threw up a whole bunch last night and felt terrible today. Ben worked from home today, but only because he thought he might get sick. I mean, having another adult here certainly came in handy a few times! It was a rough one.  *Just a throwback that I thought was cute. 

Today was rough. I wanted to say it's been a nightmare, but it was about as good as a day can be when you got two hours of sleep, have been cleaning and disinfecting for the last 20 hours, have a torn retina, are bleeding heavily, and have your own stomach knot, promising a terrible night ahead. My little girlies got hit this time: Ruby and Ollie. I went in to check on the heater in the girl's room last night and the smell of vomit slammed into my nostrils. On closer inspection, poor Ollie threw up in her bed and squirmed all around in it, trying to get warm. She clearly tried to get to the trash can next to the bed, but mostly it was just in the bed and in a puddle on the floor. We got her cleaned up and into my room on the floor and she was up at least every half hour for the whole night, vomiting. Ruby joined in the fun around 4am and it seems to have hit her a little less hard. She only ended up puking three times, total, but she had explosive diarrhea running down her legs...

Just yesterday I joked with Claire that I've been wishing we could get sick so we could cancel some stuff. Well, the joke is on me! Jonas spent HOURS last night puking and pooping his guts out. I was up with him several times and spent the first hour or more of my day cleaning. The poor guy is just not used to being sick at all. He hasn't had a stomach bug in years! He is so sad. I have no idea if anyone else will get it and I am so nervous about it. It's one thing to wish for a cold to sideline you, but another thing entirely to be sidelined by a dang stomach bug. *sigh* On the upside, it was a slow, relaxing day, aside from the half-dozen loads of laundry and sick-care I had to do. I started a new video game and that was really fun. I played for hours. 😅 I'm hoping and praying for no middle of the night vomiting tonight, but I'm going to get myself prepared for it, just in case!