Photo Journal - Josie Boettcher

It's Memorial Day! We ended up having over 50 people at the house for the BBQ today. I think it went really well! The first half of the day was spent, as you can probably imagine, prepping for the BBQ. Even though we already spent most of yesterday prepping! Ben always loves to host but is always really keyed up and anxious when we're hosting, at the same time. I never understand how he can enjoy something that causes him so many negative feelings. Admittedly, I did spend a significant chunk of the day relaxing and playing video games, so it wasn't work all day! And I had a great time visiting with people once things got started. We decided to host a cornhole tournament this year, which, I think, added to the fun in some ways. My team went to the finals!!! But we did not win. It would have been a little weird if we did, since Ben subbed in for Trey and we would have just kept the gift cards we bought for the winners. 😅 The night ended with me cleaning like a maniac for hou...

We went to CT this morning, which was good. The teaching felt pretty relevant to something I've been giving a lot of thought to. I've been facing an internal struggle about Ashley and my friend Alisha, too. Ashley didn't hurt me, but she repels me in some ways, and I would rather not be her friend. Alisha hurt me. She felt overwhelmed in life and needed to cut some things out. I didn't make the cut! I literally texted her like once every two weeks. It's hard to understand how I added to her overwhelm and it made me feel absolutely valueless as a friend. Now she wants to pick things up where we left off, like she never cut me out of her life! It's very hard for me in both of these cases to be friends with them. I feel like God is pushing Ashley toward me over and over again, so I'm going to try. I think I'll forgive Alisha too and it makes me feel like I'm letting people walk all over me. It's stupid though, and so unlike Jesus. I need to be bette...

I finished up the painting project today! I'm so happy with how it turned out. I think it looks adorable and it brings me joy. I also got a lot of the cleaning done that I wanted to get done AND got to go on a date with Ben and do some shopping. It was a good day! I'm so grateful that I'm getting some of my energy and motivation back.  I talked with Ben at dinner about my loneliness. I know it hurts his feelings that he's not enough for me to never feel lonely, but I really miss having a best friend! I know it's selfish, but I want someone that is available to me whenever I want them to be! Or at least SOME of the time that I want them! I want someone that makes me laugh and makes me feel like they're not just squeezing me in or doing me a favor by spending time with me. I hate feeling like an obligation to people. Ben said he'd been wondering when I'd get back to feeling that way. And that makes me sad! That I'm so predictable! Ugh. And I do have MA...

It's nearly the end of the school year!!! We did school this morning and I planned for a just a few more things to get finished up on Tuesday. I'm so relieved and excited to be done. And next week will be such a big week! BBQ with friends on Monday, Wild & Free on Tuesday, dad and MJ coming on Wednesday, and on Thursday, we leave for our trip! Woo!! I was kind of not looking forward to it for a while, but now I can't wait. It's going to be awesome to get away for a while.  I did some shopping and cleaning and laundry this afternoon, then we did a "popcorn and a movie night" to watch the second half of our movie that we didn't finish yesterday. Shazam! was a much better movie than any of us expected! We all loved it. I got super mad at Ben at one point today, though. I got a stupid traffic ticket a couple of weeks ago and I thought I had a month to pay it. Apparently, I only had two weeks because Ben came in and yelled, "Jose, because YOU didn...

I originally had hoped it would get cancelled, but we had a super, duper fun field trip to Historical Hilliard this morning. It was so great! The tour guides were amazing, and we learned so many interesting things. The kids all had a blast. The only downside was that, since our group was so small and we got split into six groups, we didn't tour with any of our friends, just by ourselves (except for Jonas, who abandoned us for another family). Still, a fantastic field trip! I'm so glad it didn't get cancelled. :) After that, we headed to the library for a little while. I'm trying to cut back on soda and chai lattes lately and I really need to keep myself busy so I don't stop to buy any!  This evening was pizza and a movie night, but ALSO the last CACH mom's night out of the year. So I decided to go to that and it was a pretty good time. We actually had a few laughs together, which doesn't happen that much with that group! 😅 We also had a couple of drinks, wh...

Today was the chill day I wanted, yet my mood did not cooperate! Grumpy all day. Such a mess. We did school in the morning and it went really well. I'm kind of wrapping up for the year right now. Jonas and Clem are doing a lot less since they've both already done their end of year assessments. I'm just trying to figure out what I want to carry over into the summer and what I don't! I'm thinking about giving the kids music lessons this summer. And some ASL? We'll see! In the afternoon, I cleaned a lot, did some laundry, and forced the kids to deep clean their rooms. It has been far too long. Everyone gets very upset when I take my cleaning urges out on them, but it's so much nicer when everything isn't trashed and filthy around the house. You know? I prepped dinner, then hid in my room and sat on my phone for an hour. I'm just soooo irritated with EVERYONE. Ben came home early, all excited and lovey dovey, and I was just like, "I came up here to ...

I was trying to be brave this morning, so we went to Wild & Free even though rain was predicted. It drizzled a couple times during that first hour, but then it started to rain steadily and after 15 minutes of that, we headed out. Everyone else stayed though! How does everyone do it?? I just have no interest in standing around in the rain and mud and neither do my kids. They were all begging to leave. I did have a couple of good conversations and asked that one lady, Crystal, if she'd like to get together for a drink or dinner sometime. It was awkward, honestly. I'm trying to be a person who pursues the people God puts in my life, but it's like...what are we going to talk about? Am I supposed to invite her out to church?? *shudder* Not a fan of that idea. I don't even know if she'll actually want to meet up ever, but I put the invitation out there and I'll just have to rely on the Holy Spirit to guide my tongue if God wants anything real to be discussed.  Ben...

42 years old today. It kind of feels like an unremarkable birthday. My friend Jane described it as a "whatever" birthday when she turned 42 last month. I think it's unfair to go down that path of thinking, though, because whether or not it was a remarkable day for me, my family and friends did everything they could to make me feel like it was special, no matter the actual age I turned. Ben and the kids have spent weeks (probably months, honestly) talking, thinking, and planning for this day...ALL to make me feel loved and to celebrate me. And I do feel SO VERY loved, without a doubt. I have been a little hormonal and a little sad and irritable lately, but I am still so grateful. I have so much more than I deserve and more than I ever imagined I would. My life is overflowing with love and affection from my husband, my four amazing kids, my parents, and several wonderful, thoughtful, sisters in Christ. I have gotten calls, texts, gifts (expected and totally unexpected), and...

I had several hours to relax at home today, but it felt like a crazy day anyway. We went to CT in the morning, which was good. We hung out for a little while until I realized that Clem's event started earlier than I thought! So we ran out of there quickly and headed over to Meadow Park to drop her off. She did a bowling thing with the 5th graders who are heading up to the middle school group. The five of us who were left hung out at home for a couple of hours. I got a little obsessed with getting the house clean because it's my birthday tomorrow and I just don't want to feel pressure to clean on my birthday. Also, I'm not in a great mood and I've been feeling kind of overwhelmed and unhappy the last couple days. Cleaning tends to make me feel a little better. It smells really good and feels good to look around and see things that I actually completed and managed to succeed at.  At 4:00pm, the home time ended for the next few hours. I took Ollie and Ruby to Penelope...

I spent a bunch of time outside, gardening, which was wonderful! Except my seasonal allergies have been killing me lately. I went to Target first thing this morning and picked up Claritin, but it's not 100% helpful. I'm feeling a lot better when I just stay inside, but when I'm outside, the congestion and sneezing starts again. But I have almost all of my veggie seeds planted now! I still have carrots seeds to sow and I'm a little conflicted about what to do for peppers. Ben loves them so much, but no spicy pepper seedlings grew this year! I think I'll have to buy a few plants.  In the afternoon, we went to Chuck E. Cheese's to celebrate Ivy's 4th birthday party. To be honest, it actually felt good to see Ashley again. I'm not sure who prayed for my heart and attitude towards her, but it helped! We talked a lot and, at the end of the party, she asked if she and I could get together for a drink sometime. I think it would be good. As long as we can stay aw...

I got my hair done today! It has been a while. I actually looked back through my emails to see when my last appt. was and it was August 2024. I try to come at least twice a year, but that hasn't happened the last couple of years. On this visit I decided to switch things up a little. I had one plan in mind, but changed my mind as I walked through the door! To be honest, I just liked the way my hairdresser's hair looked and wanted mine to look like hers. 😅 I'm happy with it! I'm glad I added a little blonde back into my life. 

Allergies and a busy couple of weeks have me feeling exhausted. Or maybe it's just that time of the month for me to feel exhausted? I've started keeping track of my moods daily so that I can see how my hormones tend to swing, depending on where I am in my cycle. Fun! The truth is, I feel like if I never left the house again, I'd be a happy, happy, happy girl. I know I can't trust my feelings, but that's where I'm at right now! Alas, I did leave the house today. As a matter of fact, I got up, packed lunch for everyone, and then left the house, knowing we'd all get muddy...which is one of my very least favorite states of being. It was field day for CACH! I'm not sure what my issue with field day is, but I've never liked it - not as a kid and not now. Thankfully, my kids are older and I only had to spend an hour getting kids organized and playing games. The other hour I spent visiting. I had deep convos with two ladies who are really struggling with som...

Today was a decent day. My mood isn't great, but my circumstances are *chefs kiss*. Haha that's very stupid. What I really mean is that I have literally nothing to complain about. Everything is so good...except me and my stupid, ungrateful, selfish heart.  We did school this morning and it went very well (except Jonas didn't finish one of his assignments and didn't tell me about it. It was a little sneaky, honestly). Then, in the afternoon, I made lunch and played Luigi's Mansion 2 for a bit. After that, it was off to Calumet to sit in the parking lot for two hours while Jonas and Clem were at rehearsal! Woo! The first 45 minutes it wasn't raining, so Ruby and Ollie got to play outside. Sadly, it did rain the rest of the time, and we got cooped up in the car.  I had prepped dinner before drama, which was a huge push for me to get done and I got zero appreciation for it. Not true. I got appreciation from Ben. For some reason, I was grumpy enough that it still fel...

  I skipped Wild & Free AGAIN this week because of the stupid rain. It wasn't actually raining this morning, but it was most def muddy and I'm not about that. So, we just stayed home and did school work. The kids weren't thrilled, but we're almost done for the school year, so I don't want to hear their complaints!  In the evening, we headed over to CACH for the talent show and end of year party. Also, I finally got to hand out yearbooks!!! Both Clementine and Ruby recited poetry - Clem, an original poem, Ruby, one she's memorized for school. They did great! So proud of my kiddos. We all ate dessert and hung out after the talent show. Things are finally getting more normal with Christina, Lauren, and Sarah, since leaving their small group 7 months ago. Christina obviously has had a chip on her shoulder against me, which I can't really blame her for, but she seems to be thawing. I'm grateful! Because, like everyone else in the world, I want to have my ...

Today was a great day. We did school in the morning and, in the afternoon, Ben and I ran out to Kroger to get supplies for HC snacks. He ended up taking off of work today, sick. He woke up throwing up this morning but seemed fine by noon-ish. Maybe anxiety? I'm not sure, but it was kind of nice having him home.  I spent the afternoon playing my new game and cooking. I made spinach artichoke dip, two different types of stromboli, and brookies. We also brought a bag of Starburst. Everything turned out really yummy and HC was fun. :) I talked with Caitlin, Rachel, and Megan, mostly. Not a group I usually end up with, which was nice!  Oh, my yearbooks got here on time!!!!!!!!!! Praise the Lord! I'll hand them out at the end of year party tomorrow. 

Happy Mother's Day to me! The fam started celebrating me yesterday, which was definitely a good thing, since Ben's mood today was not so great. He started yelling at the kids and feeling overwhelmed by the time I came down for breakfast. *face palm* Poor guy. He's been planning this weekend forever and had lots of great gifts to shower me with. Breakfast was delicious and well-planned. I feel so sad that he felt upset so early on in the day! I think he's stressing about work and his eye appt. tomorrow, and he's also in some really terrible nerve pain today.  I got a new video game and a new Nintendo Switch remote as gifts, so I spent like two hours playing Luigi's Mansion 2 and then spent a bunch of time laying on the couch watching Rock the Block ! We skipped CT because I wasn't in the mood to rush out this morning, although I thought several times that I wished I was there and felt lots of fomo. Eventually we ran back out to Home Depot so I could get a pie...

We got up early today and headed to the Autism Speaks walk at Coffman Park! We joined Team Liam, to support Ruby's bestie. His mom, Christina, told us to be there between 8:15 and 8:30 and we parked at 8:15! I was very proud of myself for getting up early and getting out of the house on time on a Saturday morning. Woo! Sadly, we were the only people we knew in Team Liam who were on time. We stood there with her mom and some of her mom's coworkers until 8:55, when Christina's family finally got there. We walked around to some booths and gathered up some swag, then went for the mile walk with the whole crew. It was a good time, and it was fun to see how pumped up the girls were about being involved in something like this. I used to do service-related stuff all the time! I was going to ask, 'what happened to me', but I know what happened to me. Ben. 😐 He was completely anti-others-centeredness for a lot of years and it kind of squashed my impulse to get involved in th...

The actual last, last day of LHM! It was field day and it was so fun. I mean, my specific job was not so fun, but the kids had a really good time. I had to man the ping pong cup station (basically, beer pong, without the beer), which gave me the opportunity to chase ping pong balls through the parking lot for two hours straight. :) My kids, meanwhile, ate cotton candy, popcorn, and hot dogs, and they bounced on the bounce house and played dozens of different carnival games, and got prize bags! haha It was a good time, really. I'm so glad LHM threw such a big bash for the end of the year!  I am completely, and totally, exhausted. For the last four or five nights, I have slept really badly. Like 6-7 hours. Honestly, that's not all that bad by most people's standards, but I'm used to 8 - 8 1/2 each night! But I pressed on because I'm just that tough. I came home and trimmed our bush out front because it's been driving me crazy how big it is. Then I came in to pay s...

Field day with CACH got cancelled for today, since their field was still muddy from all the rain we got. Julia, from group, invited a couple of us over to the Hilliard library to play games and then we invited a few more and it ended up being a big group of us! The kids had such a fun time. It’s just so good to watch the way the kids all play together. The big kids play with the little kids, nobody bullies anybody else, people are smiling and welcoming. I just love this group. For example, they all ran outside to play sharks and minnows, and Ollie was hanging back, like she always does. This almost 14-year-old boy yelled out to her, “What are you doing?? You’re on my team!” And she ran over to join! Homeschool isn’t always an easy option, but it feels worth it when I see the wholesomeness of these kinds of gatherings. Feeling very grateful that my kids get to grow up surrounded by kids like this! I spent a lot of the afternoon relaxing and finishing my book. Then we had pizza and a mov...

We hung out at home almost all day today and it was so nice. We got schoolwork done…I’m trying to cram in as much as possible before the end of the year! Ollie says she’s ready to take her end-of-year assessment, but I don’t think I’m quite ready to give it to her yet. Still feeling pretty beat up after Clem’s. Ruby and Clemi had their last day of Carol choir today. Praise God! Don’t get me wrong. It’s awesome. They had such a good time, it only cost $30 for the entire year, and it’s just 12 minutes away. However, I’m happy to take some things off the calendar for a couple of months. They got t-shirts and ran around with a marker having their friends sign them. I haven’t been sleeping great lately, so I am exhausted! Hoping tonight goes better.

I’m still going strong with my planned, hot breakfasts every morning! Ollie was annoyed yesterday and said, “I just wish you’d stop with the French toast bake.” So maybe that one needs a break from the menu. But it’s just the leftovers from the retreat! I normally wouldn’t have made it two weeks in a row. School went well today and Clemi took her end of year assessment. Sadly, she didn’t improve from last year. I mean, she was still averaging in the 70th-90th percentile in all of the categories. It’s not like she did bad! But her scores were the same as, if not lower, than last year in all the categories too. I think we were both hoping to see the opposite. After all that, Clem and Jonas went to drama practice at Calumet, while me, Ruby, and Ollie sat in the car for two entire hours. It was pouring rain, so the girls couldn’t get out and play. The traffic was terrible, so I didn’t want to drive home and back! It was fine. I got some reading done and relaxed. I just wish it wasn’t so in...

I am still exhausted from this weekend! But it’s a new school week and we just have a couple to go. Spirits are high! Jonas took his end of year assessment and absolutely aced it. I mean, college-level scores in every single category, 99th percentile all around, good. I was so happy for him and then he said, "It's because you're such a great teacher. You should be proud!" Ha! That made me feel good, even though it's not true. :) I went to an informational meeting about the Lighthouse co-op that I’m thinking about sending Jonas to for science. This is my second informational meeting, which feels a little unnecessary, but they required it! I think it’ll be a good fit for him, and I was so pleased to see five other CACH families and even an LHM family there! I got home, made dinner and then went back to the exact same building for CACH’s fall planning meeting. I was so thankful that HC was cancelled so I didn’t have to skip it! I was anxious for like half of the meet...

Man, I am feeling those Hurricanes this morning! I think I had three, on top of a glass of wine. My body is just not used to more than one drink. 😅 We spent the morning cleaning up the house and getting ready to leave.  I ended up sleeping a little later than I expected, so I didn’t get the cold stuff out for breakfast and it didn’t get used.   I’m glad I set everything else out the night before! Once we got home, I just didn’t want to do anything else…and didn’t! It was a relaxing day. I did the mandatory chores and whatnot, but for the most part, we just chilled. The retreat went so well. It was peaceful and calm and there was absolutely no drama…at least not that I knew about! I’m grateful we got this time with our friends.

What a day! It literally rained from start to finish, but we packed as much into it as we possibly could! We had a great time visiting and hanging out. We had a fire and lots of great meals *brushes shoulder off*. The kids played well together and, as far as I know, there wasn't any drama! It was a bit exhausting, but I'm so glad that this retreat went well. Last year's was a bit of a bomb, with all the childcare drama happening behind the scenes. I feel like last year's retreat was a pre-cursor to our deciding to move away. Not that they actually had anything to do with one another, but they happened in such close succession that they seem related in retrospect. I drank a bit too much tonight and had a really fun time singing songs, while Tony played the guitar. Man, I wish I had talent with instruments!