January 11, 2021 - Monday (98/365)


Day 98 of my 365 Photo Journal

Today was a blah one. I had two glasses of wine last night and today I feel hung over, which is absolutely ridiculous. 😂 I functioned. I cooked, I cleaned, I mopped, I dropped kids off and picked kids up, I replaced my broken teapot, I put kids in bed and read books. 

This morning, while dropping Ruby off at her fancy preschool, I noticed that the other moms seem to chat with each other during drop off and pick up...but nobody talks to me. I know it's pathetic, but this is not because of lack of trying on my part. I have attempted to strike up conversations with every single parent there at some point over the last 5 months. My rational mind knows that these things happen. This is not some personal ostracization, they just happened to be moms chatting with each other while they drop their kids off. However, the insecure part of my mind says that they can tell that I'm trashy, that I don't belong, so they exclude me and don't want their children to be friends with my daughter. And all of the feelings that I used to feel before I became a daughter of the Most High come flooding back to me, urging me to figure out some kind of payback. So sad how quickly that happens, even after almost 20 years of being a Christian and however many years since dropping those old habits born of anger and spite. Anyway, I thought it was noteworthy, because it was such a STRONG, overpowering feeling. The things I was thinking about one of those moms, in particular, are terrible (although likely true 😂) and unnecessary. Thankfully, I have real friends in my life that I can turn to when I'm struck by things like this and that is such a blessing. I'm not alone. Not everyone thinks I'm a weirdo loser. There are people that really love me as I am, thank God. 

I did take some pictures today, but I don't love the way any of them turned out, so I'm posting one from the other day when the kids were playing outside. They were all piled up on the slide and it was so cute how much fun they were having! I have a few photos of this and their faces are happier in others, but the composition of this one was the best of the bunch. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

May 3, 2025 - Saturday

Image
What a day! It literally rained from start to finish, but we packed as much into it as we possibly could! We had a great time visiting and hanging out. We had a fire and lots of great meals *brushes shoulder off*. The kids played well together and, as far as I know, there wasn't any drama! It was a bit exhausting, but I'm so glad that this retreat went well. Last year's was a bit of a bomb, with all the childcare drama happening behind the scenes. I feel like last year's retreat was a pre-cursor to our deciding to move away. Not that they actually had anything to do with one another, but they happened in such close succession that they seem related in retrospect. I drank a bit too much tonight and had a really fun time singing songs, while Tony played the guitar. Man, I wish I had talent with instruments!
Read more

November 9, 2025 - Sunday

Image
This is my favorite picture from the whole shoot!! I love it.  We went to CT this morning and I actually got to sit in on the teaching! Woo! It feels like that doesn't happen very often. We hung out in the cafe with friends for a little bit, then went to Chipotle for lunch on the way home.  We spent most of the day just relaxing! I started a photo book for our Maine vaca in September, and tried to get caught up with some other stuff, but it was mostly just a chill day. Jonas and Clem went to group and we stayed home, chillin'. Ben and I got in the hot tub with Ruby and Ollie for a little while, which was fun. It was snowing while we were in there!  
Read more

November 24, 2025 - Monday

Image
Today was a very rough day for me. It's not like everything went wrong, I just really struggled to manage my emotions. I had to run out, first thing, to get my pick-up order because there were things in it that we needed for breakfast. Then, somehow, we didn't get school started until almost 9:30. I started with Ruby and Ollie, as usual, and decided to check in with Ollie while I was reading. Okay, related side note, Ruby can't stand it when I ask Ollie questions and not her. But the thing is, Ruby remembers EVERYTHING she hears. She learns super well by just plain old listening. If I ask her questions, she answers them correctly and I never get to gauge whether or not Ollie is learning. She also always blurts out answers because she's so afraid I won't give her an opportunity to show us all how much she is learning. And I get it! She wants praise and to show me that she's a good student and she's learning. I understand. But, because of her constant eagernes...
Read more