Photo Journal - Josie Boettcher

We had the academic fair today for CACH. The last couple of days were CRAZY with prep for it. The kids were getting very stressed out because they saved all of the hard work for the day before. Clem had to stay home from group last night to work on it and she was furious...but she got it done! And she admitted today that she's thankful she has a board she can feel proud of, rather than something she just rushed through. They all did a good job, but we are starting earlier next year! I didn't have any other obligations for the entire day, for which I was so grateful. We got invited to go to the library with Christina, but I said no. I know I like her, but I do not feel like hanging out with her right now.

Seriously. This Wednesday nonsense needs to end. I am running around all day long and I hate it so much. Today was a worse one than usual. In between all of the pickups and drop offs, there was a ton of traffic. That just makes it feel so much harder, probably because then I'm stressing about being late too. I managed to grab a pick-up grocery order while I was out and cooked a nice dinner for everyone...which hardly anyone ate. -_- And I decided to skip small group tonight. I just hate everything so much. I stayed home and played my video game after cleaning the house and mopping the floor. It feels like I always keep things extra clean when I'm not doing well emotionally. It's nice to have things clean and smelling good and it's nice to be able to control something every once in a while. Everything else seems to be falling apart.  Ruby is loving BJJ, btw, and I'm going to have to break it to her that we actually can't afford for her to join. I feel terrible ab...

We actually went to W&F today! It's been a while. But it was really nice. I got to see some of my good friends and just sit around and watch the kids play in nature. It was chilly this morning (I actually wore my winter coat!) but the kids ended up playing in the stream anyway. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was! Their feet were freezing, but thankfully none of them got their clothes wet.  We left there and I dropped the kids off, then headed to lunch with Grace. I thought it was kind of awkward and had a tough time keeping conversation moving with her, but she texted afterwards and said she loves hanging out with me and she wants to do it again soon. I think it would be really hard to be Grace. She's still very homesick, even after 13 years being here. She has very few good friends, a strange, platonic romantic relationship with an older man, and her two kids that, she admits, largely ignore and avoid her. She desperately wants to move back to China but...

I have been under so much spiritual attack lately. I don't even really know what to do with myself! That, along with the terrible depression has made things pretty rough. Today, I decided that I hate everyone. I hate everyone in Ohio homechurch and I hate everyone in this new small group. I just hate them all. I never want to go to anything again. No more social crap. I'm done with it. Of course, I know it's nonsense. I know I'm hurting and this is some kind of strange self-protection, or just Satan kicking me while I'm down. I love my friends and I miss them so much. But I am going to skip things this week. I think I just need some time alone.  My day was very BJJ heavy. Jonas got his third stripe today! So, just that, school, and cleaning. That was the whole day!

We went to Meadow Park for church this morning and the worship was awful, as always. I don't know what the issue is, but it's like full volume, yelling in my face, crowding my head the whole time. There is no nuance or different moods, it just full-on, always. We hung out with the Hundley's for lunch today, which was pretty cool. Curtis and Ben seem to really have a lot in common. I feel like they could become good friends. Really hoping they can connect with each other beyond this! 

Ben, despite his complete exhaustion, went to his dad's today to hang out with Patrick and Ali. Thankfully, without my parents at the house, he was able to sleep downstairs, rather than me sleeping out in the hallway like I did for most of their trip. I know it sounds pretty pathetic, but I put a big sleeping pad out there and put a folded-up comforter over top of that. It was comfortable, in general. Slightly painful on my hips, but not bad on my back and stomach. I slept really well out there, aside from the kids getting up and down 1,000 times a night. I spent most of the morning at BJJ, it felt like, or at least driving back and forth from it. Ruby went to try out a 10am class and Jonas got his hair cut in the same strip mall during that. Then Jonas had class at 12pm, so I was back for that. He was feeling nervous, both, about the new haircut and the new class he'd never attended before. He ended up having great experiences with both. I'm proud of him for pushing past h...

Dad and MJ left this morning. :( But it was a very busy day, so I didn't have a ton of time to be sad. Jenny came over this morning to hang out. I have no idea how much longer we'll get to do this, and I want to soak up the hangouts for as long as I can! Shortly after she left, we started preparing for D&D and all of the families from that to come over. Thankfully, it was a light day for D&D. Only four kids came and only two moms were there! It was hot outside, so I had kids bring their bathing suits and the younger kids all hung out outside in the sprinkler, which made it much easier on me. It was Christina's bday, so I gave her the gift I got her a while ago. She seemed very excited. :) Ben was feeling horrible from not sleeping the night before (I slept in the hallway on a blanket again) and he came home from work early. He napped during most of D&D, which perked him up a little.  There was a little chill time after D&D, then I started getting ready for t...

We had our last class day of CACH today. It was slightly bitter, but mostly just sweet. The last six months have been a challenge for me and, unfortunately, co-op has felt like more of a burden than a joy lately. I'm thankful to not have to plan anymore classes! And it sounds like I'll never have to plan any more classes EVER! Yay!! Haha that may be exaggerating a bit, but at least I won't have to next year, according to the current plan. I spent most of the day taking pictures and putting the finishing touches on the yearbook. I'm planning to send it over today! I can't wait to get it off my plate. I love doing the yearbook, but this year has been harder to keep up with. Plus, I'm looking forward to getting some fresh perspectives and some new ideas from younger people next year. Jonas did the closing prayer today. He did a great job!  *Comparing heights with Mommom

Some photos from yesterday! We had our typical busy Wednesday, but dad and MJ did a lot to help ease the burden. First thing, the installers from Home Depot came and put in our new door!!! It only took two hours. Dad kind of took over the job of talking to the guys and looking things over to make sure they were doing a good job. Then, they took the kids to BJJ in the morning. I met them over there, after I cleaned up from the door getting installed. The house needed to be mopped and put back in order. MJ also took Clem up to her Westerville choir today, thankfully. It's so far away and takes so long! AND she bought food to cook dinner for us tonight so I wouldn't be rushed getting us out the door for small group after picking the girls up from their carol choir. Only a few more weeks of choir! I am so looking forward to it being over. Small group was fine tonight. There are a few new people who change the dynamic a little. 

HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY RUBY DOOBY DOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you!!!! Man, what an awesome kid she is. She's finally been getting more regulated and screaming/crying less. There is so much joy, creativity, generosity, and love in that heart of hers. God must have some big plans for her in the future! She's just so special to me and makes my heart so happy. I am so blessed to have been surprised with her 10+ years ago. She makes beautiful art, buys thoughtful gifts for her siblings, has a super strategic mind and plays chess like a little pro. She's excelling in school and making deep friendships. She is polite and a good listener. I'm so proud of her! And so grateful we got to celebrate her today with mommom and poppop! 

Today was a little crazy! I cried nearly all day and felt so much dread about my parents coming. I had lots to do around the house and also really wanted to get school done, so I did that too. I had to do a little shopping, and laundry, and bed-making. We had to do BJJ and then I went over all of the things in my head that my parents have criticized over the last decade and tried to make sure those things were done too.  Once dad and MJ got here, I got a chance to talk to MJ about my feelings and the thoughts that have been running through my head and she dispelled them quickly, praise God! It felt so good to just have her say, "Absolutely not. That is satan. That is a lie. We love you. We love you no matter how your house looks or whether or not it's clean. We do not think these things and we LOVE you." I wish I had just mentioned it a couple days earlier, but I think being in person helped the convo. 

I found out that our HC is moving to Main Campus after May and I am super upset about it. I'm trying not to be, but these are my people and it just feels really, really sad to think I'm either saying goodbye to everyone I've built in with at 4th St. over the last 14 years (minus the few we were at the Warehouse) or I'm not going to CT with my HC, with whom things are fragile enough right now. By the end of CT today, I decided that I'm not going to move to Main Campus. I'll have to tell Jenny at some point, but if I'm going to Dwell, I want to go where I feel at home. I talked to Sarah Groom about the Hilliard HC and she made me feel pretty unwelcome, honestly. She mentioned that it's already very big and that they're going to close to transfers soon. It just feels like with the CT change and the Hilliard HC being a no, a lot of doors are closing that I didn't want to be closed. It's really painful.  I was feeling way off for the rest of the d...

We headed home this morning without going to any more sessions. I was just feeling tired and a little cranky. Plus, the girls really wanted me to come home. So we drove a little ways into Cincinnati and went to Cafe Mochiko, which was on DDD. It was very yummy! Very different, but good.  We got home with no issues and I got caught up on laundry and cleaned for a lot of the day. Dad and MJ are coming on Monday, so I have lots to do to get ready. Ben played pickleball with the kids and they all had a blast. Good day! I'm glad to be home though.  Jonas had a long hang out with Drew this evening. Drew hung out for a little while before they left and I cried a little and all that embarrassing stuff. Just some big changes happening here. Jonas didn't get home until almost MIDNIGHT. 

The second day of the conference was pretty good. We struggled to find sessions that we wanted to attend. There's a big Christian nationalism theme this year. Among other options were: Arming our boys: from Lambs to Lions, How Liberals Destroyed the Public School System, and on and on. Almost embarrassing, for me to look at these options and think about Christian homeschooling being kind of viewed this way. This is what they think we want?? I just wanted to be encouraged! I just want some reassurance that homeschooling is the right choice! I definitely do not want some militant bullshit, Trump-ism, conservative crap. We were able to avoid all of those, but the rest was pretty slim pickings this year.  We packed lunch, did a lot of shopping together (which Jonas LOVED), got lots of swag, bought books and had them signed by their authors, and chatted with friends. Not too much pressure from home either, despite Ben having an awful day. After the sessions were about over, we headed ba...

Jonas and I got to Cincinnati today for the homeschool convention! It was a bit of a hassle to get here. I noticed last night that one of my tires was low. I took it to the shop today to get it fixed and they pointed out that all of my dang tires are bald, and they are all more prone to get flats this way, AND they can't repair the leak - it needs a new tire. So, I end up getting a whole new freaking set of tires. Gosh darnit. Every time I turn around I'm spending a couple thousand more dollars on something unexpected. This was $1100 dollars, when I thought I'd be spending $50 on a dang tire repair. ALSO, it took hours. I wanted to leave here by 11:30 so we could get to the first session today, but we left at almost 1 instead. I'm pretty bummed about the way the morning went, but the rest of the day wasn't bad!  We checked into the hotel and they gave us a room upgrade, which was nice. I'm not sure how this room is actually an upgrade, but whatever. I'll tak...

Today was pretty darn busy, but what Wednesday isn't? We did a little school, then BJJ, then went straight to the skating rink for a field trip. I talked to Claire and she said she's already 4cm dilated! Crazy! It looks like she'll be having the baby before her mama gets here. I know she's sad about that part of it. But relieved to get the baby out of her belly! After the skating rink, we came home for a little bit and then I took the girls to choir. It was their last dinner night of the year, so they stayed for that and then we grabbed them on the way to small group. Small group was a little weird tonight. Curtis led and it was like this "getting to know you" type counseling session thing. I hated it. I think I hated it because I'm not a fan of the people who talked. And there were only seven of us tonight. Whatever. I just want to stay home more. 

Are there a thousand other things I should be doing? Yes! Am I sitting at Jiu-Jitsu for hours every day anyway? Yes! Jonas couldn't go today. He spent the night at Maxwell's house last night and we got called at 6am this morning because he woke up and threw up all over Maxwell's floor. *face palm* I'm hoping it's not a virus or anything and was just all of the junk food from Easter. BUT he insists he barely ate any junk food, so I don't know! I just know it was really hard to go pick him up at 6:30am. I was sooooo sleepy. I tried to get as much school work done as I could today, but it was a challenge. After two weeks off, nobody was in the right headspace...especially with Jonas not feeling great.  Oh, and Ollie got her first stripe today!

Buck-Buck 2026 Winner!!!!! Happy Easter!!! Despite the absolutely overwhelming sense of impending crash and burn, Easter went off without a hitch today. The Easter baskets were ready this morning when the kids woke up, the eggs were dyed yesterday and ready for Buck-Buck, and everyone had decent outfits to wear to church. We went to Meadow Park because I wasn't serving this week and the kids are always so excited to go there and hang out with their friends. There was also an Easter egg hunt that was very short but made the kids really happy. Afterwards, we hung out at home and changed into more comfortable clothes, then we went to the McKean family house for Easter. It was a little awkward to go to Colin's parent's house, since we don't know them or his sister or Christina's parents! But they were very hospitable, and they had TWO Easter egg hunts for the kids, and the food was very good. We spent several hours there and then headed home. It's always tough to no...