Photo Journal - Josie Boettcher

Day 360 of my 365 Photo Journal  Ben got some good news from his new doc this morning. Not awesome, but it's not the worst case scenario that we were fearing. It'll take a while to heal and he'll be stuck on the couch for a while, but no surgery is needed!  Here is my monthly cul-de-sac photo, as it's the last day of the month! You can see fall creeping in on some of those background trees. 

Day 359 of my 365 Photo Journal  Ugh. Today sucked. Well, maybe it was more my attitude than the actual day, but...we'll blame it on the day. It kind of all started last night, when I gratefully accepted Emily and Nathan's offer to let us borrow their crutches...and then proceeded to get several offers for free crutches from people living right in Dublin. Since I had already told Emily I would come by in the morning, I felt uncomfortable changing my mind and going with someone else. BUT, I could not stop thinking about how inconvenient it would be to drive to her house, so far away, rather than someone's house very close by. So this morning, I was stressed about the far drive and how Ollie might act, being stuck in the car for so long (since I had other errands to run too). My fears were confirmed. Ollie cried/screamed/yelled at me for the ENTIRE drive. Sitting in bed just now, I saw that a neighbor sent me a message at 7:30am offering me her brand new crutches for free. *s...

Day 358 of my 365 Photo Journal  One week from finishing an entire year of photos. It feels unreal, honestly. I still have not decided exactly what I want to do, but I think I'm just going to keep going. I may not number my photos anymore and I may not hold myself to a strict every day standard, but I think I'll just keep on. This project has brought me so much joy and purpose, not to mention practice and fun!  Today started out okay. Ollie was still being her typical jerk self, talking about how much she hates Jenny and Andrei and Millie while they were here, yelling at them for playing with toys, etc. Very annoying. But, I got a little sewing done during her nap, which felt wonderful. THEN. After dinner, we went outside as a family to play. Ben and Jonas were playing basketball, like always, when, suddenly, Ben yells and drops to the ground, grabbing his calf. He says he heard/felt something tear and he thinks it's really serious. Thankfully, when I called our sitter she ...

Day 357 of my 365 Photo Journal OMG, what an awful Monday. OLLIE. She is killing me! Why is she being so terrible?? We had a play date this morning and, although she said she was super excited to play, she cried the entire way to the playground saying, "Hate friends! Hate playground! Go home!" While we were there, she cried the whole time and clung to me crying about being hungry and hating all of her friends...loudly enough for everyone to hear. Super embarrassing and frustrating. I'm hoping this is just a phase, because I am not enjoying my days with her lately.

Day 356 of my 365 Photo Journal  Another great day in the books! I wonder, if I look back on this (almost) year of journaling, how many great days I've had. Probably not a ton. But I'm incredibly thankful for each and every one that I get. Great days usually only happen under a combination of particular circumstances. 1 - I'm not depressed. 2 - Ben is doing ok. 3 - We do something different/fun/satisfying. 4 - Ben and I are really connecting with each other. I think 1 and 2 happen a lot, 4 is a little more rare, and 3 is the rarest of all.  We got the pool packed up today, along with ALL of the other summer stuff. It felt good to get it all put away and feel like the yard is actually cleaned up. I think I'd like to rebuild the play house that's connected to the swing set. I've been thinking about it a lot and it would be really nice to not have it crooked and looking like it's falling over. I'm not sure how crazy expensive wood is right now, but that wou...

Day 355 of my 365 Photo Journal  Today was a great day. We spent nearly the whole day outside, had a yummy lunch at Marino's, and I even sat down and worked on a puzzle to relax for a while. Plus, Ben and I have been having a lot of fun together. We're not really getting dedicated alone time or anything, but I'm just having a lot of fun! Laughing tons, and smiling, and really relating, having good conversations. It's been really cool. Yeah, today was good. 

Day 354 of my 365 Photo Journal  Ollie peed in her bed TWICE last night. Two freaking times. Then, she peed on her carpet this morning. THEN, she peed in the kitchen after we got back from the zoo! I feel so done with her right now. Like, I just want to push her into the back yard to pee in the grass like all the other animals do, since she insists on acting like one! I'm so furious and I know that it's unfair and unkind and super immature, but I can barely even look at her right now. All of her "accidents" (I don't really believe they are all accidents) are stressing me out and ruining my day. And my sleep. Kids, man. I can't wait until I'm a grandma and I can watch her deal with her own stubborn, frustrating kids. :)  I went on a play date with Melis and her daughter Naz today and we had such a nice time! Well, me, Melis, and Naz did, anyway. Ollie sulked and acted like a butt most of the time. It was a little warmer than I like, but it was good to walk ...

Day 353 of my 365 Photo Journal It's pizza and a movie night! I always love Thursdays. The end of the work/school week is SO close I can almost taste it. I hosted a play date with my HC mamas today and we did a little Welcome Fall type craft with handprints turned into trees and leaves. It was cute and fun. The kids always love having their hands painted. Ollie spent the rest of the day begging to do it again...but not in a sweet way; in a crying, whiny, I'm super mad at you for not letting me do this craft until the glue runs out kind of way.  Our HC had flowers delivered to us today, which was really sweet. They're super beautiful, but have several lilies in the arrangement...which could kill our cat. 😅 So we brought them up to our room and put them out of his reach for us to enjoy!  Ollie convinced me to set up the ball pit for her to play in today and, although I knew it was a terrible idea, I did it anyway...because what's the point of having toys if you're no...

Day 352 of my 365 Photo Journal  Even slow days just feel so full for me. My depression is gone for now and I'm not feeling bad (other than ALWAYS being tired from getting up with Ollie at night and super early in the morning), but I still end every day feeling like, man, this day was exhausting. I guess that's just the phase of life I'm in/the kids are in and I should just accept that. But there's a part of me that wishes I could get up and at 'em in the morning, be productive all day, and have that not make me mad or overwhelmed. Maybe later? Who knows? I feel like I should be doing more than I am to support Ben right now. I have no idea what to do, really, but things feel too normal around here. Ben is taking everything in stride and I guess when you lose someone you love who wasn't a part of your everyday life, that's kind of how it is. Normal life interspersed with pangs of grief and sadness.  I went to visit Caitlin, Cam and Emmett today and it was rea...

Day 351 of my 365 Photo Journal Fall is coming! It's finally a little cooler, cloudier, and rainier today. :) My fav kind of weather. It definitely gives me that fall feeling. And it's officially here tomorrow, I think. 🥳 I spent a lot of time thinking about Halloween costumes...especially since Target has 40% off of costumes today. 😅 Last year, I got off easy. Ruby's costume was handmade and so was Jonas's. Ollie's was a hand-me-down and Clemi's was the only one I had to buy, but it was cheap! This year, Clemi wants to be Cruella and the cheapest costumes for her I can find are $30 - $40, NOT including the wig! Ruby wants to be Peso from Octonauts 🤷. I think I can get away with buying a generic penguin costume and customizing it, but still, I'll have to buy the costume. Jonas hasn't decided yet and I haven't decided on what Ollie should be yet either. I hope I can have at least one cheap costume this year!  I bought a few little Halloween season ...

Day 350 of my 365 Photo Journal  Ben is home on bereavement leave today and tomorrow, so this morning he really wanted to get started on something productive. Of course, that didn't happen as he wanted it to (I'm not a morning person 😎), but we did get two things done. First, we worked on his disgustingly stinky, mildewy, nasty car floor. (I feel like it's important to note that Ben is generally a clean person. His air conditioner is not functioning correctly, so on some of these long car trips he took to DE to visit his mom this summer, when it was sweltering hot and his AC was running for hours and hours, it leaked all over his legs and car floor. This has become a really stinky, wet, swampy mess.) I scrubbed it with an upholstery cleaner and we left the windows open for a bit so that it would dry. But it's raining today so...the windows didn't stay open for long. Second, we measured the deck areas that still need finishing and made a plan for what wood we still ...

Day 349 of my 365 Photo Journal Benny came home today! We basically did nothing all day. It was incredibly hot outside and so I just spent some time cleaning and whatnot while the kids got crazy. Other than Jonas, who literally played on the switch for probably 8 hours or something. It's ridiculous how he'll just keep going and how I just won't even think about it sometimes. Or I'll let him keep going because he acts so obnoxious when he's not playing. A+ parenting over here!

Day 348 of my 365 Photo Journal Today was fine. We missed Ben here, but it was a normal day. Some frustrations, some down time, some productivity, some laughter, some tears.  Here, the girls got out all their "God books" so they could read about God all day. :) Very cute. 

  Day 347 of my 365 Photo Journal More pictures of this crazy little nut today. She is on my nerves, but it's just me and her ALL day, so what else can I do?  Ben's mom passed away this morning, while Ben was on his way out to see her. It's pretty sad that he wasn't able to be by her side when she died, but it's good that he's going to be there with Dawn and Patrick today and tomorrow (at least) to grieve and talk and plan for her memorial party.

Day 346 of my 365 Photo Journal  Another day, another photo taken with my iPhone...inelegantly. I took Ollie to the playground this morning for play group and then we met with Terracina for lunch at her office. Both went pretty well! When we first got to the playground, a little boy ran up and kicked Ollie and then continued on to kick Ben, Anne's son. Ollie broke down crying, but Ben? Ben punched the kid like 10 times. 😂 Oh my gosh, if I hadn't been worried about Ollie having a bad time, I would have been cracking up laughing. That kid picked the wrong one!! hahaha Granted, Ben hurt Ollie later on, so I guess violence isn't the answer and whatnot, but still. I was glad he didn't take that little boy's crap. And of course, the kid's mom didn't see anything and kept calling him angel and sweetheart. She had a tiny baby in a carrier and I didn't want to bother her with anything, so I just let it go. Lunch with Cina was good. It's always great to catch...

Day 345 of my 365 Photo Journal  Well, I did not get any better sleep last night. I went in to check on Ollie twice in the night and then after she got up to pee at 5, she asked if she could come to mommy's bed. She has fallen asleep with me once or twice, so I said yes, just to keep her from screaming her head off. BIG MISTAKE! I stole a few more minutes of sleep here and there, but Ollie did not fall back asleep. So she's been grumpy all day and man, I don't know if I've ever been grumpier in my life. 😅 Fun day! My plans for this morning got cancelled though, and I'm thankful for that. I have something going on every day this week and next week (excluding weekends). Ollie has been super mean to me today, telling me she hates me over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. I'm about to lose it. You know what I hate? That Ruby says hate so much that Ollie learned it from her. Neither Jonas or Clemi say hate ever, because we taught them not to. We taught ...

Day 344 of my 365 Photo Journal  I went to Jenny's this morning to hang out and read and Ollie was SO excited to go. Of course, once we got there, she just started begging to go back home. She is a mess. So am I. I am EXHAUSTED. I've had several bad nights of sleep in a row, so I'm really hoping that tonight can be better. My mood today has been awful and snappy. I just need some solid hours of sleep!  And OMgosh, Ollie and Andrei actually played with each other for like 2 minutes today. Ollie never plays with kids her age! I have no idea why she's so terrible at having friends, but it really bothers me. This is the age where kids start playing with each other and she literally turns her back on every kid who ever tries to play with her. 

Day 343 of my 365 Photo Journal Happy Monday! My cold is gone and my depression is backing away! I'm so glad to be feeling a little motivation and hopefulness again. I went to a play date at Pingree Park this morning, which was pretty fun. Mine's friend from Turkey, Melis, came today with her daughter, Naz, who is the same age as Ollie! Of course, Ollie did not play with her and turned her back on all of Naz's attempts at befriending her, but hopefully she can start being nicer. Melis and her family have only been here for a month and her husband is working as a contracted engineer for a company in Charlotte, NC. Most of the time, he's going to be working from home, but he'll be in Charlotte for the next week. I can't imagine being brand new to an area where I'm not a native speaker of the language and I barely know anyone, and then my husband has to leave me! Everything would be intimidating, from getting gas, to getting groceries, to finding things to do w...

Day 342 of my 365 Photo Journal  Ollie got up SOOOO early this morning. I'm exhausted and she was exhausted all day too. Poor Ben woke up right along with us, and being the guy he is, he got up and got moving. He went grocery shopping at like 7am and then cooked omelettes for us. He makes THE BEST omelettes. Better than I've ever had at any restaurant. Perfectly seasoned, perfectly cooked. So glad he tried this new dish! Meanwhile, I stayed upstairs being grumpy, wishing I was still asleep, yelling at Ollie.  Anywho...I'm feeling much better today. I'm thinking tomorrow I won't feel like I have a cold at all! So glad it's just about out of my system. Being sick is so frustrating. I didn't feel as depressed today either and we got some cleaning done around the house, as a family. The kids love it.  I decided to take a family photo at the dinner table today, just for fun. I love the first one because Ben is engaged and being a little silly, Jonas is looking ri...

Day 341 of my 365 Photo Journal It's Gabe's birthday today and unlike many years, it didn't weigh too heavily on my mind throughout the day. I did normal things: took care of the kids, read a book, started painting the kitchen, played in the backyard, watched TV, and talked to my parents. It wasn't until Ben and I were laying in bed that I started thinking about how I can't remember any of Gabe's birthdays anymore (while he was alive). Not only that, but I can't remember his voice and I can't remember his laugh. So much of the memory of my relationship with my brother has been stolen by time and it's terribly sad for me. In a normal day, I don't feel sad about Gabe very often. He crosses my mind every day, but I don't feel like I'm constantly grieving anymore. He's just missing from life. And that's the day-to-day reality of losing someone who was very close to you. You learn to live without them, but their absence is always felt ...

Day 339 of my 365 Photo Journal I've been thinking a lot about what we'd need to do around here to get this house ready to sell. It feels really overwhelming. I feel confident that we'd need a storage unit, because I just can't imagine decluttering and getting things ready to be staged, but still keeping our stuff. We're kind of crammed in here already and, obviously, some stuff could go, but we'd need to keep most of it. Then there are all the projects and painting that would have to be done. I get really nervous that no one would want to buy our house. Also, the idea of selling and buying at the same time always freaks me out. What if we sell, but can't find a good place to buy? What if we find the perfect place to buy, but can't sell? It's just a lot. And how many of the projects around the house are worth doing, just to sell in nine months?  I found a great place on Zillow in the Worthington area. It's at the end of a cul-de-sac, with 1/2 an ...