September 22, 2021 - Wednesday (352/365)


Day 352 of my 365 Photo Journal 

Even slow days just feel so full for me. My depression is gone for now and I'm not feeling bad (other than ALWAYS being tired from getting up with Ollie at night and super early in the morning), but I still end every day feeling like, man, this day was exhausting. I guess that's just the phase of life I'm in/the kids are in and I should just accept that. But there's a part of me that wishes I could get up and at 'em in the morning, be productive all day, and have that not make me mad or overwhelmed. Maybe later? Who knows?

I feel like I should be doing more than I am to support Ben right now. I have no idea what to do, really, but things feel too normal around here. Ben is taking everything in stride and I guess when you lose someone you love who wasn't a part of your everyday life, that's kind of how it is. Normal life interspersed with pangs of grief and sadness. 

I went to visit Caitlin, Cam and Emmett today and it was really nice catching up with Caitlin. I don't think we've hung out alone for like a year and a half maybe? COVID has really made friendships hard. After I left and was getting Ollie buckled in the van, I saw Emmett smushing his face against the door and it was so adorable that I had to run back and get a photo of him. He's such a cutie! 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

May 3, 2025 - Saturday

Image
What a day! It literally rained from start to finish, but we packed as much into it as we possibly could! We had a great time visiting and hanging out. We had a fire and lots of great meals *brushes shoulder off*. The kids played well together and, as far as I know, there wasn't any drama! It was a bit exhausting, but I'm so glad that this retreat went well. Last year's was a bit of a bomb, with all the childcare drama happening behind the scenes. I feel like last year's retreat was a pre-cursor to our deciding to move away. Not that they actually had anything to do with one another, but they happened in such close succession that they seem related in retrospect. I drank a bit too much tonight and had a really fun time singing songs, while Tony played the guitar. Man, I wish I had talent with instruments!
Read more

November 9, 2025 - Sunday

Image
This is my favorite picture from the whole shoot!! I love it.  We went to CT this morning and I actually got to sit in on the teaching! Woo! It feels like that doesn't happen very often. We hung out in the cafe with friends for a little bit, then went to Chipotle for lunch on the way home.  We spent most of the day just relaxing! I started a photo book for our Maine vaca in September, and tried to get caught up with some other stuff, but it was mostly just a chill day. Jonas and Clem went to group and we stayed home, chillin'. Ben and I got in the hot tub with Ruby and Ollie for a little while, which was fun. It was snowing while we were in there!  
Read more

November 24, 2025 - Monday

Image
Today was a very rough day for me. It's not like everything went wrong, I just really struggled to manage my emotions. I had to run out, first thing, to get my pick-up order because there were things in it that we needed for breakfast. Then, somehow, we didn't get school started until almost 9:30. I started with Ruby and Ollie, as usual, and decided to check in with Ollie while I was reading. Okay, related side note, Ruby can't stand it when I ask Ollie questions and not her. But the thing is, Ruby remembers EVERYTHING she hears. She learns super well by just plain old listening. If I ask her questions, she answers them correctly and I never get to gauge whether or not Ollie is learning. She also always blurts out answers because she's so afraid I won't give her an opportunity to show us all how much she is learning. And I get it! She wants praise and to show me that she's a good student and she's learning. I understand. But, because of her constant eagernes...
Read more