September 15, 2021 - Wednesday (345/365)


Day 345 of my 365 Photo Journal 

Well, I did not get any better sleep last night. I went in to check on Ollie twice in the night and then after she got up to pee at 5, she asked if she could come to mommy's bed. She has fallen asleep with me once or twice, so I said yes, just to keep her from screaming her head off. BIG MISTAKE! I stole a few more minutes of sleep here and there, but Ollie did not fall back asleep. So she's been grumpy all day and man, I don't know if I've ever been grumpier in my life. 😅 Fun day! My plans for this morning got cancelled though, and I'm thankful for that. I have something going on every day this week and next week (excluding weekends).

Ollie has been super mean to me today, telling me she hates me over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. I'm about to lose it. You know what I hate? That Ruby says hate so much that Ollie learned it from her. Neither Jonas or Clemi say hate ever, because we taught them not to. We taught Ruby not to too, but she still says it constantly. Now our littlest parrot says it all the time too. Many years ago, I was part of a play group full of kids Jonas's age, when he was 2-3 years old. There was a woman in that group who had a son who was a bit older, along with a toddler, and she would bring the older son to play dates too. During one of those play dates, her older son started screaming at her that he hated her and I have literally never wanted to hang out with her or her son ever again because of that. Like, in my mind, her son was a horrible kid and she was a mom who permitted bad language and obviously didn't have control of her kids. That feeling never went away. I see pictures of her now 12/13 year old on Facebook, and she's bragging about how wonderful he is, and I hate him, because I "know" what kind of kid he really is: the kind of kid who yells at his mom and tells her he hates her. Now, here I am. A mom with a toddler that screams that she hates me. Isn't life grand? 

Here's a photo of MY horrible kid, who yells at her mom. She's going to bed, thank God. Gosh, I wish I could go to sleep right now. I can't nap though, because it could mess me up later, so I have to find a way to stay awake for the rest of the day. I don't know how I'll do it!

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