Photo Journal - Josie Boettcher

I'm feeling in slightly better spirits. Spring break has officially started and, although today was a crazy day, it was a decent one. I left the house with the three girls at 8:30am to go to Jenny's. We hung out there until 11, then I ran to Main Campus, got the supply bags and dropped them off at Anne's so that she could be set to cover for me on Sunday.  As I was leaving Anne's, Ben and I decided to take the kids to Hibachi, so we went straight there. We had a fun lunch together and then I realized that I had to leave immediately to get Ollie to her new gymnastics class! We got there 2 minutes late, but the teacher hadn't even opened the door yet, so we were in good shape. She loved her class so much! I am so proud of what a hard worker she is. She is so diligent with trying to follow instructions and do her very best in her classes. So cool to watch.  After gymnastics, which let out 10 minutes late, I realized that my hair appt. started at 2, not 2:30...meaning t...

It was a nice, slow day today. I cleaned and worked just a tiny bit. I cleaned the house, which always feels nice when I'm doing it by choice and not being forced to do it because it's so incredibly filthy. I took Ollie to Ben's work for lunch too, which was a really nice time.  I listened to a teaching by Lee Strobel from the 2014 XSI and it was just so powerful and moving. It was about evangelism and some of the stories he shares are just so incredible, they brought me to tears. I wish I could be Lee Strobel. 😅

Thank God this week is finally half over!! It wasn't an awesome day. I felt pretty angry and embarrassed a couple of times.  The school called today to tell me that the police didn't just wipe Clem's old tablet; they destroyed it. And guess what! I get to pay for it. An Apple freaking iPad, which we've never even been willing to spring for in our own family. Now I have to pay for one we don't even get to have. Good times. He didn't tell me the cost, but I know how much iPads cost, because I've looked into it a few times. Praying it doesn't end up costing quite that much. Like, maybe the school gets a discount?  Then we went to Ruby's concert, which was so cute. She loved every second of it. She was up there singing and dancing her little heart out. We got lots of fun videos, but only one terrible photo. I loved watching her enjoy herself. The sad part was several people we know from Ruby's assessments/school issues stopping me to ask how I'm ...

Ollie had school this morning and I, very wisely, used nearly all of the time she was gone to play Harry Potter. After I picked her up, we went over to Whetstone for her ballet class. It was absolutely adorable, yet again. She tries so hard! I love it.  I worked in the afternoon and then got dinner ready. It was an uneventful day and that is how I like it right now. I know that I'd probably do better if I were spending time with people, but I don't have it in me to reach out and get things set up. I'm trying to be normal, but I'm still pretty off, honestly. I'm angry every day at pick up and drop off time and I'm so bitter towards Charlie's mom. My logical mind is understanding and accepts everything and the way it has all gone down, but the other side me is just burning with rage at how unfair it all seems; at how I'm  the one suffering when I  didn't do anything wrong! It's pointless and futile anger, but it's still there, and I need to fig...

I was in the worst mood ever today. A murder the world kind of mood. I felt SO bitter towards Charlie's mom for making my weekdays so annoying. I thought all kinds of awful things about her and, honestly, still am. Like, WHY did she have to make this such a HUGE deal, like my daughter is some kind of sexual deviant??? WHY did she make it so that I have to drive my girls to and from school every day now?? It's SO much harder and more time consuming, not to mention the fact that I'm not getting any exercise anymore since I don't walk to the bus stop. Waiting at the school to pick of the girls today, I felt like I might explode with rage. On the verge of tears-type anger. I am just so frustrated that this is my life for the next two months and, meanwhile, she's just waiting at the bus stop (MY BUS STOP, in my head) that I've been going to for 6 years, talking to the neighbors that I've been building in with for the last 6 years, while I drive past, looking guil...

Today was absolutely exhausting. Not bad, really. Just exhausting. Church in the morning and I ended up working the full three hours. I missed fellowship after CT, because there was so much going on with the t-shirt sales and whatnot. After we got home, Ben went to play Magic with Kwin and Travis and I hung out here with the kids. At one point, the girls saw Eliana playing outside in her porch and Eliana yelled that they should come play. Ashley agreed that they should go over, so all the girls hung out over there for about an hour. I really appreciate how open she is to having the girls hang out over there. I don't know if I'll ever be up for reciprocating, but maybe as her girls get older I can imagine it happening.  This bastard of a shower head REFUSES to be removed. I sent this picture to my dad and he was like, "Just get a wrench and unscrew it." Oh, really dad??? What an incredible insight! I obviously tried that. I told him he may need to do it for me when he ...

It was a pretty busy day today. We did screen-free, which worked out ok...because of the busy-ness. :) Ben and I had a midday date today. We went to the Dublin North Market for lunch, where Ben complained about how much everything costs for almost an hour straight. 😅Then we went over to Target (typical date!) and got Easter basket supplies. I'll still have a few things to buy, to supplement, but we're almost all set! We also bought 300 plastic eggs for our Easter egg hunt we're hoping to host here. I suppose I should announce it soon, or nobody may be able to show up! After we got home, Aveen got here and was pretty dismayed that we weren't allowing screens. :) The boys went for a walk for a while and then we took everyone to the mall. We got pretzels and played in the kids area and were pressured to buy crap for everyone. Good times! But we let the boys just go off on their own, which they seemed to enjoy. Afterward, we came home, cooked dinner, and then everyone star...

I met with Jenny this morning and told her what's been going on. When Ben and I talked about whether or not we were going to share this with anyone, our first instinct was to say no. We have been so afraid of how people will react, what they'll think, and how their impressions of Clemi will change. Will they never trust her again? Will they treat her like she's contagious and keep their children away from her? Alex and Jenny have been some of our closest friends for years and the idea of something like this happening to them and us not knowing or us finding out only later on was a crappy thought. We want to be vulnerable and open with people that we care about. This situation has just made it so hard. Anyway, I don't know if we'll tell anyone else. There's a part of us that's considering getting ahead of any gossip that may happen by telling a few people in our neighborhood, but I just don't know. We don't love them, trust them, or even know any of t...

Again, I don't have much to say and, again, I'm thankful for that. Me and Brit met at Graeter's for a little play date with the girls. It was good to get out of the house and Ollie was surprisingly well behaved. I had cell group tonight, which was pretty uneventful, but the chapter of the book that we discussed was one of my favorites so far. I really want to do better with prayer and actually praying for people that ask for it. It's something I'm not very good at. But honestly, I've barely been praying for myself lately. I don't feel very equipped to be helpful to others at this point.  I know this hard time will pass and be a distant memory at some point, but it has been incredibly stressful and draining. I just feel like I need to catch my breath. 

Finally, a normal day! I worked, we went out to get lunch, and I got some gardening done with the kids. My deadline for Oasis has been met, thank God. I felt a lot less stressed/upset about everything with Clem and she had a good day at school. I know this isn't a very comprehensive report of the day, but I'm feeling pretty blank right now and just relieved that there was no drama.

Ah, what a nightmare I've been living through lately. I was feeling a bit better today, since the meeting with the school was over, but I got a call in the afternoon from the principal saying that they decided to file a police report, along with reporting us to Child Protective Services. I had to leave immediately after the call to go meet with the police officer and bring Clemi's tablet with me. Of course, I was in the middle of making dinner and was already stressed out of my mind about how inconsistent I've been with BrandSwan and how I have a HUGE deadline for Oasis tomorrow. BUT. Nonetheless, I headed over to the school to meet with the officer. He questioned me for about 20 minutes and then had me call Ben to bring Clemi over. Ben told me to go, and he stayed while the police questioned her. I know it shouldn't have, but this interaction pushed me over the edge. I basically couldn't stop crying for the rest of the evening. Just so overwhelming. Ben said that, ...

Dude. What a day. We ended up letting Clem stay home from school today because of how anxious she was. I spent the day wondering if I'd hear from the school. In the meantime, we went to the library for a bit and hung out with Brit...who brought FOOD! Ben had his vasectomy done this morning and I am so relieved that it's finally over. He'll have a couple of days of acting like he's just experienced the worst thing in the world, but we won't accidentally get pregnant and I feel like it's totally worth it!  Around 2, the school finally called. It was a terrible call. They informed us that they've told CPS, because in any case where there has been something inappropriately sexual at school, they need to. Sucks super bad. We don't feel afraid of what would happen if they investigated us, but we are really upset anyway. Then we had to bring Clemi in to the school for a meeting with the principal and the school counselor. I really shouldn't complain. They w...

I am just existing in a constant state of anxiety right now. I'll forget about the issue for minutes/hours at a time and then, suddenly, reality crashes back to me and I am spiraling and freaking out. This school week is stressing me out. I have to drive Clem to and from school from now on (at least for a while), which will make life harder, but we're going to see if any fallout happens with school. She might get expelled. While I can handle that...we can deal with that, it will make her miserable and I DON'T know how to deal with that. I feel like I need to take time off of work, but I can't think of any real reason why. It's just really hard to do normal life things right now, when my mind is so frantic feeling. And I feel so isolated, like I can't talk to anyone if I want them to still look at Clemi the same, because they probably won't anymore. I'm trying to figure that out. There is another part of me that is saying, calm down. It's not that bad...

I'm processing some really upsetting news I got about Clem yesterday. I'm not sure how much I'm going to say about it or even what I'm going to do about it. I'm stressing. I will say, she did something bad. She's not sick or anything like that. She messed up badly. In other, kind of related, news...we might go see a house tomorrow. It's like a street over from the Hawthorne's house. It seems like a great place. We also might be able to see that house two doors down soon. I don't really want to get our house prepped to sell, but we might decide to move forward with leaving soon, even though we thought we were thinking we might not. I have no idea what is going to happen in my life at all sometimes! It's crazy and totally disconcerting.  I went to 4th street this morning and spent a few hours working on the new bulletin board. I think it turned out ok...definitely not exactly how I hoped, but ok. I texted Anne last minute (again) and asked if she...

What a day! Highs and lows galore. I had a fun visit with Jenny this morning, where our children fought for two hours straight. Then I got to have lunch with Terracina, which was honestly slightly awkward at first, but led to some really terrific, encouraging conversation. I was so excited after our hangout! I came home and started getting ready for our game night...cleaning and cooking snacks. It ended up being such an awesome, fun night. Like, seriously. SO FUN. I laughed so much and just had a great time. I can't believe we haven't hosted one of these since before COVID! We had people over until 1am, which is just mind-blowing, honestly. I haven't been up that late on purpose in probably a decade.  

To be totally honest, I'm writing this two days late and just cannot remember anything about this day. I don't think I did anything? Brit cancelled our morning plans because Anna needed a quiet morning at home and...I have no idea what I did. Probably nothing.  Also, can I just add that I am really tired of only taking pictures of Ollie. I mean, she is the cutest thing ever, but I DO have three other beautiful children. I just have the most time with her, so she always ends up being my subject!

It's mom's birthday. I feel like we probably don't celebrate birthdays in Heaven?? Like, why would we? But, still. Happy birthday to my mom. We miss her down here. I am very much looking forward to knowing her redeemed self when I join her.  I am feeling much better today already. So...that's good. It's really weird to only feel sick for a day or two, IMO. But I guess I'm glad for it.  I met another neighbor today! I've been curious about them since they moved in a few months ago and I saw the guy outside and just--awkwardly, of course--walked up to him and introduced myself. He, his two daughters, his partner, and his mother-in-law moved into his dad's old house when he died. I asked him to please join us sometime when we're outside with the kids and he came out today! I was pretty shocked and, of course, did not actually feel like socializing. BUT it was good. We stood and talked for at least a half hour and got along really well. Conversation came...

Lord, help me. I'm sick again. Yesterday's itchy throat was not just a fluke. 😓 I had to cancel my plans with Kylienne and basically just sat around all day. I had to drag myself to and from the preschool to drop Ollie off and pick her up. Now that it's afternoon, I'm feeling slightly less bad. Praying that this doesn't last more than a day or two! Nobody else is sick in the house and I really, really don't want to cancel a bunch of other stuff this week...beyond what I know I'll need to cancel for tomorrow. I took a COVID test and at least that was negative, so no quarantine prayerfully!  I had plans with Leslie for tomorrow, as well as the Oasis staff meeting. I don't want to show up and get anyone sick, especially since Nathan has a two-week old at home. Anyway, that's enough of that. It's not a big enough deal to be stressed over.  MJ called today and we talked about plans. She's still willing to watch the kids so that Ben and I can get ...

I freaking hate Mondays. Okay. That was a super negative start to this post, but I really do. I just hate them so much. So many obligations on Mondays and Ben is in the office. Mondays can suck it.  I have a scratchy throat for some reason. Really hoping it just goes away quickly and doesn't turn into anything. I'm supposed to hang out with Kylienne tomorrow and I don't want to have to cancel. 

Work this morning and, right after we got home, we headed to the neighbors' house for a while. I really didn't feel like it, honestly, but it was a good time. Ashley is so sweet and puts so much effort into being hospitable and neighborly. I really appreciate it. Her house was clean (even though she said it's really tough for her to get the time to clean) and she had snacks and drinks put out for me and the girls. Ben was playing Magic with Kwin and I guess they were too busy to eat. 😅 It's still tough to get her to talk about very personal things, but we did talk about some stuff: weight, in-laws, marriage. It was pretty good. She just doesn't ask many questions back, so there were some awkward, quiet moments. 

Thanks to some good prepping last night, this morning was not stressful. It was busy, but it wasn't bad. We finished getting everything ready and then people were here at 11:30! It was a really fun party. The house felt PACKED, but it was a good time and it seemed like everyone had good conversations. We even had some (just a little...here I go getting excited over small things again) church talk with Ashley! The coolest part is, she is really hoping for community, and if church is the way to finding it, she's open. It's a roundabout way of getting to God, but He works in roundabout ways sometimes!  Once everyone left and things were cleaned up, I was pretty beat. I really wish I didn't have to work in the morning. 😓 I wish I could look at it differently or something. Like, this isn't work, this is a choice! I like it there and I want to be there! But sometimes you just want to have the whole weekend off and, blah, it's never going to happen again, it feels lik...

Aah! Tomorrow is Ollie's birthday party! SO MUCH TO DO. I cleaned a lot yesterday and today, so there's not too, too much to clean, thankfully. And I started prepping food today. Most of the sweet things are done and I got as much of the other stuff ready as I could. A lot of things you just have to do day of. I think what's stressing me out the most is that I have to take a shower in the morning. 😅 Showers are just the worst time suck!  I took Clemi to her friend Iqra's birthday party this evening. I was SO dreading it. Like, sick to my stomach, dragging myself out the door. BUT. Praise God. He knows what he's doing, even when I don't know wtf he's doing! I mean, maybe it's a bit extravagant to praise God, just for having an open conversation with people who have a different faith than me, but I think it's pretty incredible! I only saw an evening of awkwardness ahead of me, but it turned into an evening of deep conversation, delicious food, and rel...

I am DRAGGING lately. Ugh. I went over to Anne's for a play date with Brit, Anne, and Leslie this morning. I'm glad I went. It wasn't a super fun time, necessarily, but it was nice to jump in there and be with a big group of kids and overwhelmed moms. 😅 I got to talk to Leslie one-on-one a little, which I haven't gotten to do since she quit the Oasis team, and Ollie ended up having a really fun time.  When the kids were playing outside today, Ashley came over and talked to me for a bit. I feel really awful about it, but the more time I spend with Ashley and Kwin, the less I like them. 😞 I am going to be praying that I can love on them and continue to move forward with our friendship, even though I'm feeling a little put off by them.  So...the big thing today is that this morning, during school prep, the girls realized that Murphy hadn't eaten his food, which he has literally NEVER done before. We searched everywhere in the house and he wasn't here at all! ...