March 19, 2023 - Sunday



I am just existing in a constant state of anxiety right now. I'll forget about the issue for minutes/hours at a time and then, suddenly, reality crashes back to me and I am spiraling and freaking out. This school week is stressing me out. I have to drive Clem to and from school from now on (at least for a while), which will make life harder, but we're going to see if any fallout happens with school. She might get expelled. While I can handle that...we can deal with that, it will make her miserable and I DON'T know how to deal with that. I feel like I need to take time off of work, but I can't think of any real reason why. It's just really hard to do normal life things right now, when my mind is so frantic feeling. And I feel so isolated, like I can't talk to anyone if I want them to still look at Clemi the same, because they probably won't anymore. I'm trying to figure that out. There is another part of me that is saying, calm down. It's not that bad. I'm going to try and listen to that part of me some. 

I didn't take any pictures today. Just not top of mind when I feel like I'm imploding! But I wanted to post these pictures of my loves, that I put so much time, effort, and hope into. They are only human. They are going to be sinful and it is so sad to see them fall down and make terrible mistakes, but I am going to remember that it is my role to be their advocate and to always point them back to God, who has already forgiven ALL of those terrible mistakes. I love them so much and we're all just doing the best we can. 

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