Photo Journal - Josie Boettcher

Today was our third day of school in a row. We never do that! I think we're all ready to be done for the week. Upside? We're going to have two days off of school! Downside? It feels like it's the weekend and it's only Wednesday. Womp womp.  After school, we rushed over to Anne's house to watch the boys while she went to counseling. It wasn't a bad time this time, thank God! Ezra didn't sleep, so he got up from bed pretty quickly. I read a few books, then took the cowards way out and turned Bluey on for the next 45 minutes. :) It worked! Ezra and Jacob were occupied and not destroying anything or hurting anyone! Win!! Jonas, Clem, Seth, Levi, and Ben were busy playing/watching Magic in the other room. Pretty chill time...which is not the way things usually go at the Trader house. I need to remember to be praying for Anne. She's in such a tough situation.  I took the girls to choir and that was about it for the evening!

The weather today was beautiful: 60 degrees and partly cloudy. My very favorite! However, I opted to skip Wild & Free and do school this morning, rather than being out in nature, because we were meeting at a park far away and I wanted to be able to visit Brit this afternoon. I knew I wouldn’t be up for both trips! I also needed to grab Jonas’s bookshelf from IKEA and didn’t want to put that off anymore.  Anywho, school was good. Ruby is lagging behind a bit, but I’m hopeful she’ll catch up by the end of the week. She’s a pretty dedicated student. Unlike some of my other kids, she’ll remember to go back and get stuff done that she wasn’t able to complete in the morning. I’m really wowed by how smart she is sometimes. She sits in the room while I’m doing Jonas and Clem’s reading, and she picks up on EVERYTHJNG. I swear she knows as much about the Spanish American war as they do now, along with American life for settlers after the civil war. She seems to just remember everything s...

Back so school! We had a successful day. Nothing very special about the morning, but in the afternoon I went to meet Charlene and her friend Muhnwa about the Korean exchange student thing. I got lots of info and the conversation was good. I left feeling very excited about the idea, but had a feeling it was the kind of bubble Ben would just love to burst. And I know that’s not fair. I was just trying to be excited, but also careful with my feelings, I think.  Me and Ben’s discussion wasn’t bad, but of course he had lots more concerns than I did. He asked me to get perspectives from some HC people, so when I went that night (alone, might I add) I did just that. And? Mixed reviews. But I left feeling much more cautious about the whole idea. Is our family in a place where we want to invite someone else in right now? I just don’t know! I have no concerns about the legal stuff or liability issues like Ben does, but how much would change in our day to day lives? Am I ok with those changes...

We all went to Ct this morning (minus Jonas) and it was a good time. We actually hung out and visited for a while, which Ben rarely lets us do. Afterwards, we had a relaxing afternoon at home. I painted the trim and door in Jonas’s room and cleaned the air return vent because it was gross. So crazy! Just the fan to install and the bookshelf to buy, pickup, and put together now. Then we’re on to the hallway! I just don’t know what I’m going to do about the stairs. I need to get it figured out…maybe before I start? Something to think on. Jonas went to HC tonight and Ben went to play Magic, so I took the girls to a nice Chinese restaurant for a “fancy” dinner. We got hot tea and shared a few sides. They loved it so much! They kept speaking in British accents and dabbing their mouths with their napkins. They were on their very best behavior and it was just so cute.

I got the trim up in Jonas’s room today! I did make one bad cut and didn’t have a replacement piece, which was a little frustrating, but this is the last big job. Once this is painted, I’m basically done! Ben and I went out to Cameron Mitchell’s American Bistro for dinner. It was so fancy and so delicious. We had a really nice time and had a fantastically attentive waitress. I mean, she was a little over the top, but she packed us up bread and garlic with our leftovers and I really appreciated that. We also went out and finally bought a desktop computer for homeschooling. I’ve been saying we need one since we started this whole thing and, since we didn’t have a bunch of debt to pay off with our tax return this year, we finally did it! I’m honestly not super eager to set it up and teach the kids to use it properly, but it will be good to have for research, writing papers, and learning to type. Honestly typing is probably a more important skill than handwriting nowadays. So sad!

HAPPY FRIDAY!!! I'm so excited for this weekend. I have nowhere to be, other than a date with Ben, and nothing to do, other than the bedroom project. It's supposed to be a little bit warmer, so it won't be as painful to be in and out of the garage tomorrow.  Today was a pretty good day. Just school in the morning and some errands in the afternoon. All of the girls opted to go with me while I ran around to Target, Home Depot, the library, the gas station, and Giant Eagle. By the time we were done, I'm sure they all regretted it! But it was good and they all behaved well.  Last night was great. I'm so glad I went to cell. I know I was feeling really crappy about it beforehand, but I had a fantastic time and had some really good conversations. It made me feel like I'm actually a part of things again, rather than being on the outside trying to get back in. 

I can't believe it's already the end of the week. This one FLEW by. I woke up to a message from CACH telling me I was going to be subbing in the pre-k room all morning. *womp womp* I was really hoping that I'd end up with one of my kids somewhere, but I get that I have to go where the need is. This was the first day in a while that I've really felt super regretful/bitter about not being in leadership this year. I wish I had not been so damn brash and that I hadn't felt such an urgent need to inform EVERYONE that we were leaving. I should still be a part of that leadership team, but instead I'm sitting in the pre-k room, soaking up everyone's germs. *sigh* There's nothing productive about that line of thinking, I know. Maybe God will place me there again someday. For now, I just want to serve humbly and work on taking my sadness to Him. I still love that group and being a part of it in any capacity is good enough. I did no bedroom work again today. I'...

I took ANOTHER day off of working in the bedroom today. Ben keeps telling me to stop guilting myself. I have no actual deadline, and we are doing this for ourselves. He's right. I don't know why I'm putting so much pressure on myself! I guess I just get frustrated at everything being so messy and out of place upstairs. But that's probably not a good reason to pressure myself and get upset with myself every day that I'm not working up there.  We did school today and I made chili and bread ahead of time for dinner. I actually spent a lot of time relaxing in the afternoon. We watched a Call the Midwife , which we haven't done in forever, and I read for a long time. It was really nice! Sadly, I left the house AGAIN this evening, but at least it was for something fun. I got to have dinner with Kamola. It was so good to catch up with her. I can remember YEARS ago struggling to find things to talk to her about and now we've been friends for so long that conversatio...

Ugh. I got my period today and am at a point in the bedroom project that kind of stinks. I have to do the trim, and this part drives me nuts. Carrying a 13-foot piece of trim up the stairs, banging into every wall at every turn, just to find out that my cut is 1/4" off was too much for me today. So I decided to take the day off and did nothing instead. Not productive and pretty grumpy. I did read though, and that was nice.  I think part of what was making me grumpy was the thought of having to run this academic fair at LHM tonight. None of my kids were participating and I feel iffy about whether or not I even want to be a part of this group. I hate going out at night and it is freezing cold! Alas, I made a commitment, so I kept it. I got there at 5:30, set up, hung out, and was there until 8:30. It honestly wasn't that bad. I did get to have good conversations with several people and that was really nice. Anyway, it's over now. I'm probably going to be a part of this c...

Today was a little rough. We did have a pretty relaxing morning, but my period started and I was feeling grumpy. We decided to go ice skating as a family, so we headed over to the Dublin Chiller for the noon skate. We pulled into the parking late and turned around again because it was so busy we couldn't even find a spot! We promised the kids to come back sometime when Hilliard schools aren't out. We headed over to Daruma for a hibachi lunch and, after the hostess attempted to cram us onto a table where there was already a family sitting, we decided to leave there too. It felt pretty rude, but we didn't want to spend $100 on lunch, just to be uncomfortable for the entire time. After that, we went to Bob Evans and Ollie started crying, saying, "I know you're just going to make us leave here too!" And Ben did want to! But we stayed and had lunch and it was all good.  By the time we got home, it felt like most of the day had been wasted. Ben and I ran back out to...

Another wonderful day! I decided to skip church last night and I was so glad today because we had a ton of snow! I got all of the electrical switched out in Jonas's room and got the curtains hung and new bedding on. We went to Home Depot to get his door and realized, after we got home, of course, that we got the wrong size door. *doh* Thankfully, it was the correct size for the hallway bathroom, so we can use it later. At least we don't have to return it! But we do have to go back to the store and get another stinking door. I don't know exactly what made the day so great, but it was just really nice. I read for hours this morning and everyone was in a good mood. 

I only took this one photo today because it was really just a crazy day. I woke up, relaxed and drank my tea for an hour, then got to work. I had to get the new glue opened up, which takes a long time, get all the new boxes of wood upstairs and unpacked, and get all of my tools in order. After all of that was done, I put in the rest of the floor! Easy as that! Haha just kidding. It took me hours. But it wasn't too bad. I was listening to music and just in the zone. It was a really rewarding and cup-filling morning/early afternoon for me, honestly.  Once the floor was finally finished, I got dressed and Ben and I went to BWW for some wings and a beer. It was a great time. We talked for almost two hours about any random thing that came into our minds and had some good laughs. It was just so nice. Once we got home, I made dinner for the kids and got to work cleaning. The house has been so dirty. It's been driving me crazy. The floors were so grimy and none of the counters felt cle...

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!! We had LHM this morning and lots of Valentine's parties to prep for. Each kid needed Valentines for their whole class, everyone needed decorated bags to collect their Valentines in and I had to have a craft and Valentines prepped for our class. My gosh, it was a lot of work for something that I really don't enjoy. I still have no idea what to do about LHM for next year. Jonas cries every single time I bring up not rejoining. I feel like I'm going to give in and do it. Sometimes it's not that bad. It's just that I still haven't made any friends, really, and Anne is planning to quit after this year too. *sigh* Decisions, decisions! I worked hard in Jonas's room today, after taking yesterday off. I got about half of the floor done and finished up the container of glue. That stinking glue is so expensive! I feel so accomplished when I'm working on these projects though. After feeling pretty low for a while, it's nice to be i...

Today was our CACH Valentine's party. It was a little bit of a stressful morning because I wanted to get a full day's worth of school done today. I also forgot to buy stuff to make mac n cheese, so I had to do a pick up super early at Giant Eagle. Man, that was a whole thing. Unfortunately, Ben's phone number is the one on the account, so he needed to check me in when I got there. I sat and sat and sat, waiting for him to check me in. He forgot all about me, so I spent ten minutes sitting there, texting and calling him asking him to check me in. I was very irritated when I got home. But I got over it after a little while. I got the macaroni and cheese into the oven and did school for a little while, then we got ready for the party! I know I say it all the time, but I love this co-op. The party was a really good time and the kids had a lot of fun too. I got stuck talking to Charlene for longer than I would have liked, but I had good convos with a few of my friends from the g...

I got LOTS of work done in Jonas's room today! I mean, it's hard to look at it and say it was lots. I got five rows of wood flooring installed, which isn't much in the whole scheme of the room. BUT I got the flooring started and it kind of feels like that's the biggest part of the battle - GETTING STARTED. It's hard! I have to get tons of different supplies out, change my clothes into my ruined by flooring glue outfit, and make sure I have a big chunk of time to spend on it. I have to have enough energy to run up and down the stairs a dozen times, making wood cuts, and enough energy to bang each and every piece into place. When I did Clem's room, I did the painting before putting the floor in and I wonder if I'm making a mistake not doing that this time. But, we're not repainting his whole room, just touching it up. I'm not even 100% sure I'll be using a roller, so there shouldn't be as much risk of splatter. I think I'm just eager to get...

I finally got started on Jonas's room in earnest today. Me and the kids tore out all of the trim and all of the carpeting and padding. We removed the tack strips and all of the tiny staples throughout the entire room. I swept and vacuumed it and got it all set for putting in flooring tomorrow! I was so grateful the kids helped so much. It takes extra time to teach them to do things, but I think it builds confidence and, as they get better at it, it is truly helpful. They did all of the trips to and from the garage with rolls of carpet and pointy tack strips and sat on the floor prying up staples for hours. They are hard workers!  Of course, I did not take a before picture of Jonas's room. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I don't want to have any record of the hard work I'm putting into this house. *eye roll* I went to bed feeling super frustrated with Jonas tonight. I brought up the idea that he would have to start putting more time and effort in...

We got a good chunk of school done this morning and then I finally finished cleaning Jonas's room out and getting his furniture moved out of there. Ben was supposed to help with this part, but, of course, he did not. He is hung over today and I'm disappointed and annoyed with him. He admitted he was hung over, but as soon as I said he was hung over, he defensively insisted that he was not and that he barely drank any alcohol at all. *BIGGEST EYE ROLL EVER* I failed at holding my snark inside during a conversation around lunch and he got super pissed at me and basically hung up on me. He didn't speak to me for the rest of the day and didn't even make eye contact with me when he got home from work. How am I supposed to never say anything about his drinking? Meanwhile, he is constantly trying to convince me to drink more. I was "so much more fun" when I drank, and he wishes I would just "loosen up" sometimes. But I don't like feeling like crap and I...

I took the girls to CT this morning, while Ben stayed home and put in a couple hours of work. He also wanted to be here when Jonas got back from his retreat. CT was a good time though. The girls stayed in the playground for a little while afterwards and they all enjoyed that. I got to catch up with some people and visit. I also ended up getting one of the desserts that was being raffled off! Susan (front booth) gave me 10 free raffle tickets that she had bought and I used them on two different desserts. I did not win either, but I hadn't heard the first number get called, so I walked over to double check that I hadn't won. As I was reading the number, the winner came over and grabbed the dessert and I congratulated her and told her I was hoping to win that one. A few minutes later, she walked over to me and gave me the dessert! She said she didn't want it. I feel so lucky! On top of dessert, I got to hang out at the cookie decorating station and visit with HC ladies who wer...

Today was pretty fun! I told Ben last night that I wanted to do something new today and we were both totally down for it...last night. This morning was a different story. :) I barely wanted to shower, let alone go on some big adventure! I did some chores and played some Zelda in the morning and then Ben suggested we take the girls to Shake Shack for lunch, so we did that! It was delicious. Their stuffed portobello burger is divine. Of course, two bites in and I'm stuffed. I don't know if it's worth $8 for two good bites, but it is in Ben's mind, and I'll take it! After that, we went over to American Eagle so I could pick up a clearance shirt I had on hold for me and then I went to Carter's next door and got sucked into buying all three girls Valentines Day outfits. They're adorable. :)  The Browns came over for dinner tonight and the girls absolutely adored snuggling and playing with Mariah. Clemi cannot wait to babysit for them and Megan told her she could,...

It's the weekend!!! AND crazy co-op week is done, praise God! I mentioned to Jonas that I might not want to do his favorite co-op next year and he (predictably) got extremely upset. And now I'm rethinking and trying to figure out if I really need to stop or if I should just do another year. What I'm going to do for now is register for next year, but "pay later" to buy myself a few more months of time to decide. It's not like I'll leave them in the lurch if I decide not to do it. They have a waiting list 20 people long; another reason I don't want to just give up my spot without really considering carefully!  The morning was good. I got a lot of time to visit with Anne today, which was wonderful. We had to do school when we got home, which was terrible (only because our day was so full and started so early). Everyone was cranky and tired already.  Jonas left for a retreat this evening! He is going to be gone all weekend with his group and I'm just r...

Things I'm worried about:  1. Going to co-op tomorrow (the one I don't like) 2. Missing cell group tonight 3. What to do about LHM for next year 4. Not getting our week's curriculum done Today was a good day, but I'm not in a great mood. Co-op this morning was pretty fun and we stayed for the picnic afterwards, and the kids all enjoyed it. I also got some good time to visit with Lauren, which was nice, since it's been a while. I had to stop at Giant Eagle on the way home to grab some frozen pizzas and also at Target to get my pick up order. By the time we got home it was 2pm and I just wasn't up for doing any school work. So now I feel like a slacker and I'm worried I'll feel even worse after tomorrow's co-op since I dislike it so much. The only upside is being in a class with Anne, but she may not even rejoin for next year.  I relaxed for a little while after getting settled and, before I knew it, it was time to get dinner ready. I got to talk to MJ...

Today was pretty uneventful. We did school, then I went grocery shopping for what felt like eternity. Then I unloaded all of the groceries and put them away and helped Ruby sort her beads. I was grateful for a chill day, though, knowing the next two days will be busy with co-ops. I am just not a fan of the first week of the month! It's the only week that I have all three of my groups. 

We went to Wild & Free this morning in the cold and it was SO GOOD. At first, anyway! About an hour in, Jonas fell and got hurt and that kind of ended the morning for us. We hung out for a little longer, but the girls were all having a great time and I was getting some good time talking with friends. Oh well! Things like this happen. We headed home and did some school stuff for a while, which annoyed Jonas and made him cry. The girls all handled it pretty well though.  Since Brit's fam is sick, we had the afternoon to do nothing, so I did some laundry, played Zelda, and hung out outside while the girls played. I just really want to read my book. I never get enough time to read lately! I'm getting through like 20 pages a day, which is pathetic for me. I am still extremely annoyed with Ben. He's been doing nothing around the house lately, just kind of sitting and waiting for me to handle everything - showers/baths, dishes, cleaning, homework help, bed times, and ALL of th...

Today was a good day! We did school for the first half, and I announced to the kids that things were going to change some. I have been slacking a bit on their education and I'm going to try to change that. We have way too much down time, honestly. And what fills the time? Bickering, screens, house-destruction. There's literally no reason for us to rush through school every day. Truth be told, Jonas is the one who really rushes us through. He gets whiny and rude when he's not getting his way and, while he's a super good kid in most ways, he's also manipulative and I always fall for it. He puts on the waterworks every time he hears that something is going to change slightly...and not in a way that will make life even easier for him. Anyway, I'm not 100% sure how it will look, but I want my kids to be improving and growing, not just skating through.  I've been trying really hard to be kind and loving towards Ben but today was a real test. He got on my frickin...

I don't know. On the one hand, I want to get out and do stuff! See people! Have a full schedule again! On the other hand, I know I have a busy week ahead and I'm kind of feeling like I'm going to miss my doing nothing at home time. Whatever. It's not important. I've been sad about not having a social life anymore and I can't have a social life if I'm unwilling to be social. I wonder why I've been having such a hard time going out and doing things? I'm just going to try to push through it! Today was a good day. It went nice and slow, which I really appreciated. We went to CT in the morning, then had lunch at home - I made grilled cheese for the girls. I read and played a video game and did a little laundry. Jonas and I worked on emptying his room a little more so I can get to work on the floor, and it is really an uphill battle in there. He collects everything and does not have the storage space for any of this crap. I have no idea where it's all ...

Today was a pretty chill day. We woke up at a normal time, I played Zelda and drank some tea, and then worked on a photo book from our trip for the next couple of hours. I showered and primped for a while, then Ben and I went on a date to a fancy restaurant - Cameron's American Bistro. It was actually delicious and one of the first dates in forever that we've actually enjoyed our time with one another. Ben's mood kind of declined over the span of the evening, but he says it had nothing to do with me. He said his pain just hit him pretty suddenly. I hope that's it! It's been a week of me working really hard to keep a positive attitude towards him and it really has been much better. I mean, this isn't one sided. I know he's been working hard to keep a positive attitude towards me too. I had a lot of snarky moments today and he didn't engage at all, which I appreciate, in retrospect. :) Ice cream sundaes tonight!!

Today was a pretty nice day. Chill morning, spent the afternoon reading at the library while Jonas played games with friends, and a good dinner. The weather was really warm, so the kids were outside playing for a while, which was a nice change. After dinner, I went to a MNO with my CACH co-op and it was very boring. Plus, I had to drive 40 minutes to get there. I want to build in with these ladies and it helps to go to stuff like this, without our kids running around interrupting every two seconds. I wish I had stayed home, but alas! I can't change it now. 

Dude, there was a terrible airplane crash out of D.C. on American Airlines, the airport we just flew out of, on the airline we were flying, the day after we were there. So scary!! I know car accidents happen much more frequently, but the fact that people often don't survive airplane crashes definitely adds to the anxiety of flying. They don't think anyone survived this one. Just awful, awful, awful.  We had a field trip to the Dublin Chiller today for some ice skating. The kids did so good! Clem, of course, was a natural. She just pushed herself out into the middle and went for it. Ollie caught on pretty quickly too. Jonas and Ruby, though, really had to push themselves and struggled through the whole time. But they kept trying! And that's the part that's so awesome. Neither of them gave up. I loved it. I got to visit with some mamas, which was great for me. I love my CACH group so much.  It's pizza and a movie night! We watched Wild Robot and got Black Dog pizza. G...