February 12, 2025 - Wednesday


I got LOTS of work done in Jonas's room today! I mean, it's hard to look at it and say it was lots. I got five rows of wood flooring installed, which isn't much in the whole scheme of the room. BUT I got the flooring started and it kind of feels like that's the biggest part of the battle - GETTING STARTED. It's hard! I have to get tons of different supplies out, change my clothes into my ruined by flooring glue outfit, and make sure I have a big chunk of time to spend on it. I have to have enough energy to run up and down the stairs a dozen times, making wood cuts, and enough energy to bang each and every piece into place. When I did Clem's room, I did the painting before putting the floor in and I wonder if I'm making a mistake not doing that this time. But, we're not repainting his whole room, just touching it up. I'm not even 100% sure I'll be using a roller, so there shouldn't be as much risk of splatter. I think I'm just eager to get the floor done and move his junk back into the room. It's tough having his stuff everywhere. It's in the basement, hallway, and both girls rooms! He just has so much crap and he doesn't want to get rid of any of it. I need to shop for some under bed storage boxes and figure out how I'm building his floor to ceiling bookshelf I promised him. 

I've been thinking a lot about my mood lately. I was wondering if I should find a way to track it so I can know where I'm actually landing most days. It feels like I'm usually at a 4 and that's not great. No, I'm rarely super depressed anymore, but I'm never happy either and isn't that just super sad? I'm kind of just flat. I know a lot of depression meds have that effect on people, but Trintellix never did that to me. I'm just noticing it now that I'm also taking the birth control pill to control my hormonal swings. No, my mood isn't swinging. It just sits there, at a 4, all the time, never changing. It makes Ben really upset and I can kind of see why, now that he's pointed it out a few times. I'm wondering if it would be worth it to wean myself off of Trintellix (and maybe even the bc pill?) and start from scratch. I might need something new. I've been taking Trintellix for almost 6 years now. I don't know what to do. I guess I should probably ask my doc what he thinks.

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