March 2, 2021 - Tuesday (148/365)



Day 148 of my 365 Photo Journal

Today was the 6th anniversary of my mom's death. It hit me harder this year than many of the other ones and really made me think a lot about being a mother and what that means, how important this role really is. Mom and I loved each other very much, but we had a complicated relationship. Even so, I miss her and find myself wishing she was here all the time. If a child is well-loved by their mother, how much stronger is that bond and that longing for her company? I don't have any real end goal for these musings, but I just feel determined to love my children well and to not make their lives harder with my own problems. 

I tried to take a few self-portraits with Ollie today. The lighting was terrible and I'm not great at getting my camera focused for self-portraits. Ollie is in a big "hug" phase, so we get lots of snuggles nestled between horrible behavior. It's lots of fun. :) And does anyone else kiss their little one's toes? I can't imagine kissing Clemi or Jonas's feet anymore (and Ruby is on a case-by-case basis), but I'll keep on kissing Ollie's for as long as I can!

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