September 25, 2022 - Sunday



Well, Ben fell asleep at like 8:30pm last night and, having nothing else to do, I also went to sleep super early last night. I woke up pretty well-rested this morning though! We went to church and then dropped Jonas off at a birthday party. Then, Ben and I got into a fight and ignored each other for the rest of the day. Hooray. :( So...I have this issue with always thinking Ben is looking out for himself WAY before me and that he takes every opportunity to interrupt what I'm doing if it will make things easier on him. He swears that this is not the case and that I'm being an ass even thinking it of it. Thus, the basis of our argument. I snapped at him because I was relaxing, and he wanted some help with something he was doing. Maybe if the ask had been quick and easy, I wouldn't have been quite so irritated, but it was frustrating and took forever. After I accused him of roping me into something just because he "hates to see me relaxing", he gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the day. IDK. I apologized later at night for often thinking the worst of him and apologized for being nasty to him, but there is a part of me that believes that what I said is true. It's something I need to work through, I think. I just have trouble thinking that anyone would ever actually put me first; that anyone really cares about me or my feelings. 

In the midst of all this, I took Jonas out for a date to Bonefish Grill (they had paper on the tables, so we made some art) and then we went for a walk down to the waterfall. It was a pretty nice time. I often don't want to stop what I'm doing to go on these dates, but I am always glad for the time together when I do. 



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