April 20, 2026 - Monday



I have been under so much spiritual attack lately. I don't even really know what to do with myself! That, along with the terrible depression has made things pretty rough. Today, I decided that I hate everyone. I hate everyone in Ohio homechurch and I hate everyone in this new small group. I just hate them all. I never want to go to anything again. No more social crap. I'm done with it. Of course, I know it's nonsense. I know I'm hurting and this is some kind of strange self-protection, or just Satan kicking me while I'm down. I love my friends and I miss them so much. But I am going to skip things this week. I think I just need some time alone. 

My day was very BJJ heavy. Jonas got his third stripe today! So, just that, school, and cleaning. That was the whole day!

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