February 14, 2021 - Sunday (132/365)

Day 132 of my 365 Photo Journal 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!! It was a sweet day with the family. Simple, but sweet. Ben asked all the kids last night to choose something they'd like to do on V-day with our family and then spent today trying to fulfill those things. Jonas wanted to play a video game with dad, so he spent some time doing that. Clemi wanted to go in the hot tub with everyone, so Ben made sure that happened. And Ruby wanted to go outside and play, but it was too cold, so we just ignored that request. 😅 Me? I just sat on the couch, working. But Ben and I ate a nice dinner and had a good evening together. 

He proposed to me on Valentine's Day 12 years ago. That night, we had made a super fancy seafood dinner together, set the table really nicely, and got some red wine. I was dressed for once. I've always been a sweats and a t-shirt kind of girl, but that night I was wearing jeans and a sparkly pink blouse that I loved. Then, as soon as dinner started, I knocked a glass of wine all over my clothes. 😩  We frantically cleaned it all up (although my shirt was ruined and had to be thrown away), I changed into sweats and a t, and we sat back down. Ben was acting super weird and jittery and I kept asking him what in the world was going on, but he denied that he was off. Once we finished our very tense and quiet meal, with Ben VISIBLY shaking throughout the whole thing, he got down on BOTH knees and asked me to marry him. :) There have been a couple of years over this span of time that I wondered what on earth we were doing together, but even during those times, I have not had any regrets about choosing to be his wife. We've made a beautiful life together, with God at the center of it all.

Can I just say that I'm so happy to be taking photos and editing again?? I've missed it so so so very much. ALSO, I just want to point out how difficult it is for me to see myself in these pictures. I so desperately wanted to edit myself and make myself look thinner, prettier. This is truly an exercise in self-acceptance. I am still worthy, valuable, and beautiful the way that I am now, just like I was 10 years ago, before I put on all of this weight. ALSO, ALSO Ben made the EXACT same face in 29 pictures. The one that was different is at the top. 😂

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