February 16, 2021 - Tuesday (134/365)


Day 134 of my 365 Photo Journal

Ben and I decided to recommit to eating healthy and exercising...starting today. 😔 It's been rough. Not really, but it is mentally rough. The thing is, I really hate being restricted in what I'm allowing myself to eat or drink. BUT. I really hate being scared that I'll die young because my body is so unhealthy, or that my knees/back/hips will hurt so badly that I can't get on the floor and play, or that I'll miss out on the good stuff because I'm so lazy that I'd rather sit than really live my life to the fullest. I like to try to persuade myself that these things are not real concerns; that I'm being dramatic. But, I'm not. These things really do happen to people who are as overweight as I am. It is just so incredibly difficult for me to overcome my...whatever it is that stops me. I have dieted/changed habits so many times over the last 10 years that I have lost count! Nothing has ever lasted. Granted, I kept getting pregnant so that slowed things down a bit too. 😆 Anyway, this is just what's on my mind right now. We'll see where it goes. I did do yoga with the kids today. It was super hard and Clemi kept giving me 'advice' and it made me super frustrated. lol Ridiculous. 

On to the whole point of the blog: photography. It was snowing these big, fat flakes this morning and it was just so beautiful! I wanted to capture it so badly, but didn't want to get the kids outside to try--Ollie just hasn't been handling it well lately. Instead, I opened up the front door and got some pictures there! 

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