May 18, 2021 - Tuesday (225/365)


Day 225 of my 365 Photo Journal 

I had a play date with Jenny and the kids today and although we talked through some uncomfortable subjects, it was a good time. Jenny thinks that I should pursue counseling or follow up in some way with someone about my anxiety problems...especially after they got so bad while Ben was gone. It makes sense and she is probably right, but I feel reluctant to add another thing to my list of problems that I'm dealing with. I really appreciated her willingness to talk to me about this stuff though, and will be thinking more about that. 

I was also telling her about the kind of mom I was when I had just Jonas. I used to plan these pot luck lunch play dates that were so awesome. All of us moms would bring some kid-friendly food for our kids to share and then we'd hang out while the kids played. Once a month, we'd schedule a big craft play date and make something special. Nothing seemed impossible then. My house was pretty clean and I went out all the time. I feel so different now. Everything feels so hard. 

We got the kids in the pool for the first time this season! It was FREEZING, but they were excited. 


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