Photo Journal - Josie Boettcher

Day 330 of my 365 Photo Journal Today was a decent day. I took Ollie to the plant store and we got some pots to repot my indoor plants that I keep in the bathroom. After we got home, we went upstairs and worked on it together. Then Ollie grabbed the cat litter scooper, and dropped it on the carpet, and rubbed it around, and then shoved it into the litter box. After asking her to stop, telling her to stop, demanding for her to stop, and her never stopping, I lost it on her, yelling like she did something horrible. I feel awful about how much I've been yelling lately. There have been a couple of times every day that I've yelled at one of the kids (usually for something that REALLY should not have made me nearly that mad) and it makes me feel so ashamed of myself. I wish I weren't losing my temper so quickly lately. I told Ben that I think it might be safe to say that I'm going through a depressed period and he said something like, well, you've been extremely mad latel...

Day 329 of my 365 Photo Journal I had another incredibly tired, can barely keep my eyes open kind of day today. Thankfully, Brit came over to keep me company for a bit this morning and it was a relatively smooth day from then on, but still so tired! Ollie didn't have any accidents today. 🥳 And I'm starting to feel a lot less anxious about the potty, especially during the day. I just need to feel more sure that she'll get me up if she needs to pee, rather than just peeing in bed, because that is why I'm sleeping so lightly lately. Not that it's such a huge deal if she DOES pee in bed, I just have a lot of anxiety about it.  I have my sign all ready for the back to school photo shoot I want to do with the kids! Hopefully I'll at least work on Ruby's tomorrow. What stopped me from doing hers today was the idea of doing her hair. I just do not feel like dealing with that when she gets home from school! I did take the kids outside today, which is not like me in ...

Day 328 of my 365 Photo Journal Oh man, I wish I was asleep right now. I've been going through some serious bad moods over the last week. I'm pretty sure it's from not getting good enough sleep, but maybe I'm just becoming more horrible of a person. Who knows?!? I'm not getting good enough sleep though, whatever the answer is to the mood issue. I'm tired. All. The. Time. If I add it all up, I'm usually getting between 6 and 7 hours of sleep, which is not bad at all! I think it's just that it's so disjointed lately that's making me so tired. Like, getting out of bed and going to check on Ollie a few times a night or sleeping really lightly because I'm afraid I won't hear Ollie when she cries out for me. I know that this will only be for a while, which makes it bearable, but I am really, really tired.  We spent most of our day just hanging out at the house. We celebrated Marme's birthday (it's not for another week and a half or so!)...

Day 327 of my 365 Photo Journal  We went to Cleveland today! A few people from HC were going and we really wanted to join. I'm glad the visit coincided with my parent's trip so that we were able to take them with us. It made the day better and I think it'll really add to our memories of it too, having had them here with us. We went to the aquarium (overpriced!), which was cute and fun, but didn't take nearly as long as I expected! And afterwards, we went to Edgewater Park, which was amazing. We want to come back when the weather is cooler so that we can really enjoy all that it has to offer. The lake was just WOW. The view from our picnic table was amazing (just beyond this sign!). It was just way too hot outside to do much, other than sit in the shade and eat our lunch. Thank God for that shady spot though! The park was packed and it honestly was incredible that we got the spot that we did. In the evening MJ and dad took us to Bob Evans for dinner and it went pretty we...

Day 326 of my 365 Photo Journal  Today was such a nice day with my parents! The highlight was going to get a pedicure with Marme. I haven't gotten a pedicure in forever, so that was really nice (my toes look amazing, btw), but really, just getting to sit in the chair next to MJ and talk about life was the part that was best. When everyone is around, conversation is just a little different. I miss her so much, living out here. She's truly one of my best friends and closest confidants. I'm grateful for the time I get, but every visit just leaves me (all of us) wishing for more!  Tomorrow is our Cleveland trip! Some things have come up that make me a little worried that I'm going to be spending too much of my day sweating in the heat, but I'm not going to stress about that anymore. We'll just see how it goes! We never get out to explore Ohio, so I'm really excited to be taking my parents somewhere new and the kids too.  I guess Jonas dropped some kind of bombsh...

Day 325 of my 365 Photo Journal My dad and Marme got here today!!! I am always so happy when they're here. And Ben and I got to go on a date, which was awesome. We went to an Italian restaurant called Moretti's and it was AMAZING. Seriously, the best Italian food I've ever had. Looking forward to leftovers tomorrow! After dinner, Ben and I went to half-price books and I can't believe I forgot how long I'd be willing to spend just browsing in a physical book store. We could only stay for a little bit, but I'm glad we stopped by there. After that, we went to see the new Suicide Squad at the movies! I just love going to the movies. So even though we got stale popcorn with not nearly enough butter and the movie was just pretty good, I loved every minute of sitting in that dark theater next to my hubby and enjoying some alone time together.  I caught MJ mid-gesture and Sadie mid-shake!

Day 324 of my 365 Photo Journal Today was a loooonnnng day. It was fine though. I mean, Ollie made some progress with the potty today and actually didn't poop in her underwear! 🥳 But she was really fussy and sad all day. She probably spent 2-3 hours of the day just crying and whining. She missed everyone and she didn't like that I was doing stuff. I hope whatever was going on doesn't last long. I'm guessing she was hungry, she's not used to have everyone gone, and she's still getting those molars. I did finish getting most things ready though and just have a couple of little things to do in the morning before dad and MJ get here. Nothing else to report. I did let Ollie paint today, honestly just for the pictures. And I got some good ones! I'm going to try to not go too far overboard on this post. :)

Day 323 of my 365 Photo Journal  I got the kids off to the bus stop and then went to Jenny's to hang out for a bit today. I'm really thankful for our friendship/companionship. It's been really cool to parent alongside her and consistently catch up with her week after week for years. I'm thankful for that our discipling relationship too. I have a feeling we'd be a lot less consistent without it and I so appreciate having the weekly opportunity to talk about God, talk about our walk with Him, and get into the Word together. It's also nice to have a family that is friends with my whole family and I'm really looking forward to future hangouts when it's less hot outside!  I'm feeling kind of low and I'm still not 100% sure what it is. I'm still upset and annoyed at the slow potty training process, although she's almost always peeing in the potty nowadays. But I'm still sleeping like crap, because I have to be ready to run to her room as so...

Day 322 of my 365 Photo Journal Well, it's Monday. Hurrah. It was just me and Ollie today and no plans. We hung out, snuggled, watched movies, and I organized a bit. It was a pretty slow, uneventful day. Just prepping for my parent's visit in a few days. I caught up on some texts too and got to chat with Evie a bit. Not much happening! Oh, and I didn't take any pictures, so I'm going to have to pull from some I took the other day.  Clemi actually took this one of herself with my actual camera. I thought it was really good! And I loved the light in the bus stop picture. Speaking of pictures, I hate the way my big portraits of the kids turned out. They're WAY to light and they're blurry. I'm not sure if this is a printing issue (paid almost $60 for these dang things!!!) or if it was bad photography. I'm really torn about whether I should just deal with them on the wall for a year or if I should try and send them back and try to edit the pictures so that th...

Day 321 of my 365 Photo Journal  I just cannot believe I've kept up with this journal for nearly a year. I still haven't figured out what I want to do when the year is up. I feel like I'll just continue on, but I want to decide if I'm kind of committing to another year, or if I'm going to do this on a day-by-day basis. Like, rather than catch up on days that I'm behind on, just kind of pick up and write where I am. I'm just not sure! I like that I've found something I'm consistent with. Even though I tend to let everything else fall to the wayside, I've kept up with this ONE thing that's just for me. Today has been slow and pretty easy. I was upset for a few hours because Jonas has been acting like such a jerk. Just being an instigator with his sisters, laughing when I tell him to stop, stuff like that. But as soon as I put my foot down and he's in actual trouble, it's all crying, and excuses, and mom doesn't understand what's...

Day 320 of my 365 Photo Journal The day had some ups and downs for me. First, I cleaned the pool right after I woke up, which super duper pissed me off. I was hot and hungry first thing in the morning. HUGE DOWN. Then we went out to lunch at a little seafood place we've never been to. The food was good and most of the kids ate! UP. Then I got a terrible, TERRIBLE headache that totally sidelined me for a few hours. DOWN. But! My new portable AC unit came today and while I was struggling with my headache, Ben got the whole thing set up for me! UP! Anyway, once my headache went away, the rest of the afternoon and evening were fine. I cooked some spaghetti for dinner. We all got in the pool, although Ollie was super grumpy and wanted to get out almost immediately. Ollie stayed dry all day and she even alerted us that she was pooping BEFORE her underwear were full of poop, so that was some progress! She fell asleep around 8:45 and, even though Ben and I are both exhausted, we'll pro...

Day 319 of my 365 Photo Journal  It's Friday! But it doesn't really feel like a Friday, because there have seemed to be no nights off since starting potty training. BUT! This is the 3rd night in a row that Ollie didn't get up to pee after I put her down (like no games at all!) and seemed to be asleep by 8:30! I can almost taste the freedom! I think tomorrow night I'm going to try going back downstairs after she's asleep. 🥳 We had a play date with Anna and Brit today, which filled my heart, as always. I'm so thankful for Brit and her unwavering friendship. Then this evening, our whole fam went out back and played for a bit. It was very hot and very muggy. I got a little weeding done and got a lot of photography done...which makes all the sweat worthwhile. :) The sky was actually really beautiful tonight, but turned out to be blown out in all my photos. I thought I could adjust it by selecting the sky and dehazing or turning down the highlights, but still didn...

Day 318 of my 365 Photo Journal I'm just going to kick this off by saying that I started my period today and I have a terrible headache. But more importantly, IT WAS THE KIDS' FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!! Drop off was kind of disastrous and I spent a long time crying this morning about what a crappy mom I am and how I ruined Ruby's first experience of her first day of kindergarten just by being me. Here's the story:          We leave the house right on time (at least, what I thought was right on            time), at 8:20, take  some pictures, and start walking towards the bus  stop.            I say, "Hey, it's muggy. Why don't we  drive?" Everyone agrees and we hop           in the car. As  we pull up to the bus stop I say, "Wow, a  LOT of people got            here super early! I'm surprised!"  Everyone ...

Day 317 of my 365 Photo Journal  I'm not thrilled with the quality of Jenny's 4-month picture, so I might try again when I next see her. It just looks grainy to me on here, even though I thought it looked great on Lr.  Today was an ok day. I spent most of the afternoon getting ready for the kids to go to school tomorrow and did some work during Ollie's nap. Ollie had a good day with potty training too! She pooped in her underwear, as always, but she had no other accidents and actually fell asleep much earlier than she has been lately. We're planning on going to a play date at Jenny's tomorrow, so I'll just be praying that she can keep it together while we're at someone else's house for a couple of hours!

Day 316 of my 365 Photo Journal  Let the slog of potty training continue. We switched tactics a bit today, in hopes of getting Ollie to take more ownership of this process. I got sticker chart stuff, some new little incentives, and a few bigger gifts for successful days. Today was good. She didn't have any pee accidents and she led herself to the bathroom a few times, without me pushing for it. She worked on pulling down her own underwear and pulling them back up. The idea here is INDEPENDENCE! Not mommy carrying her to the potty, pulling down her underwear for her, setting her onto the toilet, wiping her, pulling up her underwear, and leading her away. She is big enough to do all of those steps herself...except maybe wiping. So we have some work to do. Tonight was brutal though. She was up FOREVER and pooped a little in her underwear before alerting me and then finishing up on the toilet. This was after a dozen or more visits to the potty. I can't wait for this to be over!!! J...

Day 315 of my 365 Photo Journal  Man, I should just keep a mood chart or something, because I feel like recording my roller coaster moods on here is exhausting to read through. Today was tough though, because Ollie peed herself over, and over, and over today. It was infuriating. I cried. I felt like spanking her. I didn't go that far, but the whole potty thing has started to become negative and no good. The more mad I get, the worse she does. It's almost like her going potty is a favor to me and when she's mad at me, she doesn't feel like doing me any favors. What is supposed to happen is the whole thing should be led by her desire to do it. So there's a disconnect happening right now, for sure. I ran to Target tonight and grabbed stuff to make a sticker chart and bought some "prizes". I'm really hoping to start tomorrow on the right foot and that some positivity and some incentives will get her back on track. Praying, praying, praying!  I took Jonas t...

Day 314 of my 365 Photo Journal I took a thousand pictures of the girls doing yoga this morning and none of them were any better than this, so here it is! I honestly didn't even want to edit it, because it's just so bad. 😅 But it was an adorable moment (actually lots of moments) and I'm glad I captured it, even if it isn't a beautiful photograph.  Today was a much slower day than yesterday. It consisted of hanging around the house, running out to World Market to go crazy spending $$$, and then hanging around the house some more. We didn't actually end up spending any money at World Market, but we wanted to! We really want to get some dining room chairs. Ours are awful looking and terribly uncomfortable. The seats are all busted out, so much so that the springs are hanging out of the bottom and have cut my legs several times. There's always bits of cushion all over the carpet and the seat covers all have grease stains on them. They're a mess! Sadly, World Ma...

Day 313 of my 365 Photo Journal  Man, what a crazy Saturday. We actually had plans nearly ALL day! For people that rarely leave their house, this was pretty wild for us. First, Ruby had her first-time bus riders event. Thank GOD I got there early, because by the time I was leaving at 9:20am, there were hundreds of people in line! I can't even imagine waiting in all of that, just to let Ruby look at some busses and take a quick ride. Thankfully, we were some of the first to arrive and got through the whole tour and bus ride in record time.  Next, we were invited to a birthday party for our neighbor Aubrey up the street. We knew it was going to be a bit awkward and...it was. We didn't know anybody there, but really, nobody knew anybody there. 🤷 They invited all of the friends with kids that they've made from our neighborhood and it was nice getting to meet some people, but it wasn't like any of those people were easy to talk to or anything. It was such a fun theme though...

Day 312 of my 365 Photo Journal  An even better day today! Ben scheduled the day off (can you say 3-day weekend?!?) and it was so nice having him home. Ollie has had NO accidents and even pooped on the potty...twice! It's starting to feel like things are clicking, thank God. I mean, it wasn't like an exciting day or anything. I still just stayed here and hung out, but it was way less stressful and way more happy. I don't even think I yelled at anyone today. :) While Ben was grilling, the kids played on the deck. I ran out there with my camera and took a few shots of everyone. I wanted to include a picture of Ben grilling, but it kind of looked like he only had one arm 😂, so I decided not to.

Day 311 of my 365 Photo Journal  Yay! Ben came home!!! I hate it when he's gone and I'm SO glad he's back. Today was 100x better (mood-wise) than yesterday. I was much more chill with the potty training stuff and just tried not to spaz quite as frequently (although I still did freak out a few times). Also, Kaitlyn from HC came over and watched the kids for an hour, so I got to take Ruby out school shopping! It was really cool just getting some time to sit and talk with her and get to know her a little more. We've been in group together for a couple years, but haven't spent much time talking. She's pretty quiet in a group setting, she's 15 years younger than me, and we're in totally different life stages, but we actually have kind of similar upbringings and it's nice to just talk to someone else from a super dysfunctional family sometimes! 😬😅 Anyway, I'm super thankful that she offered to come by and help out. It was really nice.  We did our piz...