December 22, 2022 - Thursday

I had a pretty grumpy day today. I ended up running 7 different errands and it just burnt me out. It left me with tons of stuff to do at home and no time to do it all. With the expected bad weather, though, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to stay home and get stuff done all day tomorrow! 

I'm trying to be more intentional with Ben lately, but when I'm in a bad mood it's especially hard. Last week, Ben told me that he's feeling unsatisfied with some aspects of our marriage and, specifically, the fact that he feels like he tries to adjust his behavior to make me happy more than I do for him. And he's right about that. I'm quick to tell him when I feel like something is wrong between us (caused by him) but I'm pretty oblivious to the things that I might be doing wrong. He told me that he needs more physical affection from me, which I was pretty annoyed by. I spent the day thinking about it and went through all of the denial feelings and the 'I'm just giving up' feelings, but at the end of it all, I know that I do need to try and be more physically affectionate. I used to rub his back, and hold his hand, and sit close to him, give him kisses, and little swats when we're in the kitchen together, but in the last few years, having no sex drive has made me fearful of doing those things. I didn't want to give him the wrong idea or whatever. But he's been missing it and I need to show him that I love him in the ways that he feels loved, just like I expect him to do for me. 

I finished up this client photo! I feel like it's a little ho-hum, but when I sent it to Marielos, she said she loved it and it's perfect. So...that's good! Brittany also gave me a really fun idea (I'm writing this Friday morning) that I'm excited about. I don't know if they wanted this, so I sent them both versions, but I LOVE it.