Photo Journal - Josie Boettcher

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME & BEN!!!      It has been 13 years being married. What a crazy thing. When I was younger, I just couldn't imagine being in a marriage that lasted forever. I imagined that marriages/relationships were disposable and when they weren't working anymore, you quit them. Or, even more pessimistically, I believed that every marriage would contain some degree of unfaithfulness, which would ultimately destroy trust and then the relationship. So, to say that my marriage with Ben has defied all of the odds I had in my head and has exceeded all of the expectations I had for marriage is the absolute truth. I still wanted marriage and still hoped for something better, but never thought it would happen for me and never thought I deserved loyalty and unfaltering love. I certainly never thought I'd get it.  My marriage with Ben is not perfect, by any means. Two imperfect people, who were given no positive marriages to model after, who grew up neglected and ...

Today was better than yesterday. We stuck closer to home, although we stayed plenty busy. It was also still cold today! I wore my windbreaker down to the beach this morning and ended up with my hood up and a towel over my legs for the two hours we were there.  So. Today we went to the beach in the morning for a couple of hours, came back for lunch, went to the pool for almost two hours (which was ICE COLD. seriously. freezing cold), then came back for dinner. We ordered the Cheesesteak Factory for dinner, which was delicious, and then headed back to the beach for another couple of hours. We're finding that even though it's cold and windy, the kids are much more content when we're at the beach or the pool, rather than on an outing or in the condo. We're actually going back out tonight for a "night walk". I have to admit, I'm not really looking forward to that. 😅 But Ben has been wanting to do a night beach walk since I've known him, so I think it's...

Man, vacations are hard. Today was filled with so much whining and crying (not mine, although I wanted to too!) that I was just emotionally exhausted by dinner time. There were a few times that I just wanted to say to Ben, "I'm having a terrible time here." But I didn't. I kept it in and, instead, made it obvious I was having a bad time. I'm not very subtle. 😅 Despite the bad weather, we did a lot of fun things. We went to Huntington Beach State Park in the morning and visited the nature center there. We also walked for a little while to see the alligators. And we did see lots of alligators! Here is my thing: WHY DO THEY LET US WALK SO CLOSE TO FREE ALLIGATORS??? Like, are they just that confident that we won't get attacked? Alligators are actually dangerous animals. I'm not just making that up, right? And they're fast. Way faster than me. Nonetheless, we were like 10 feet from lots of them on this walk. Or, maybe, alligators don't like crawling o...

I've been spending a lot of time praying for something that I don't know how to name lately. It's not patience or endurance, or even positivity, but I feel like it has something to do with all of those things combined. I want to really feel the joy of just being. You know? I am so grateful for this life, yet I find myself ready to lose it over whining, or constant tattling, or kids fighting. Why? Why am I so short-tempered? Why am I always trying to escape the very things that I know I am grateful for? I don't want to "lose myself" in my phone or in a book when my kids want to talk to me or are just trying to connect. I want to put my things down, look them in the eyes, and listen. Like, really listen. I do it some, but most of the time I'm just trying to survive or something. I don't know. I want to be better. I want to have time for just sitting and joking around or coloring or whatever it is they want to do with me! Praying, praying, praying that I ...

Today went as well as it possibly could have gone, honestly. The car was packed up before noon, I got my work stuff done, AND we got to go to Jonas's clap-out, where I ridiculously cried way too much. We ended up getting the kids from school almost two hours sooner than we planned, which was awesome for getting on the road earlier but...not so awesome for the kids, since they all ended up missing their last day of school parties. Thankfully, nobody whined too, too much. Heading to the beach is an incentive on its own.  The drive went smoothly, other than Ben being in terrible pain for half of the time. He still wouldn't let me drive though. 🙄 We didn't hit any real traffic and only had a couple of short stops. Nobody threw up and barely anybody cried! I get car sick so easily now that I can hardly even be on my phone while we're driving. It makes the trip feel very long and very boring! We got to our hotel a little after 8, got everyone settled down, and got them all t...

I spent until about noon getting ready for the trip and working, then had a bunch of errands to run. I squeezed in a visit with Brit, which was very refreshing! I'm glad I had the time to do that. I was out, basically, until it was time to get the girls from school. Busy afternoon! And then I had to run to Target with all the girls in tow...literal torture. We still had our pizza and a movie night, but we only watched half of the movie and then put the kids to work cleaning the house. I hate coming home to a dirty house!! I did the bathrooms and general pick up, while Clem did the study, Jonas and Ollie did the den, Ben did the kitchen and dining room, and Ruby did the hallways and in-between areas. It worked out well, surprisingly! I got a lot of stuff packed this evening and even got to sit down and watch a show with Ben tonight. It was a productive day!  Sadly, I was in a frantic, overwhelmed, and angry mood this afternoon/evening. Ben was so annoyed because when I'm in this...

I've had a pretty balanced day. Silly thing to note, but just a little bit of work, a little bit of packing, a little bit of cleaning, a little reading, a little gardening, a play date, and a little bit of video gaming. It was a pretty good day, despite the Friday deadline looming over me.  Ben is having some neurological issue that is really concerning. He had hours of being in absolute agony, like unable to do anything but cry kind of agony. It was pretty scary. It is also really terrible timing. We're just praying he is doing better quickly or that, at the very least, it will hold off for a week while we're gone. He's going to start having it investigated when we get home. No more putting it off! This was just too bad. He's doing ok right now, but what will it be like tomorrow?  We went to Britton to see some books that Ruby published this school year. It was super cute. :)

I wanted to just stay home because I've been feeling so overwhelmed lately, but I headed out to a play date this morning anyway. We met at Coffee Connections in Hilliard, so how could I really skip it?? It's right down the street, really. Their indoor playground is super cute, although it kind of filled up right after we got there, and we hung out on the patio for a little while after they closed. I spent nearly the entire play date text arguing with Ben, which made me absolutely insanely angry. It was all about food! Freaking food!! So annoying.  I didn't do anything else interesting today. Just packed and worked, really. Trying to not freak out about how much there is to do by Friday! Loving how filthy my house is behind the girls in their tattoo pictures. Cheese balls ftw!

I got my groceries delivered today and it was wonderful. :) I also ordered like $1,000 worth of stuff, because I decided to make travel bags for the kids for the trips this summer. WHY do I do these things to myself??? They don't need anything else! Nonetheless...they're going to have more things. Really hoping for a decent couple days of driving!  I am very seriously considering homeschooling. I can't stop thinking about it. I'm going to try this French curriculum over the summer and we'll see how it goes. If it's fun and I'm liking it, maybe we'll just go for it! If it's terrible and I'm a sucky, horrible teacher and I'm super angry at my kids every day...well, maybe we'll hold off for a bit.  The truth is, I'm scared. I'm scared of peer pressure. It might sound silly, but it crushed the joy out of me as a kid. The trouble I got into was due, in large part, to the people I surrounded myself with. I was always around people who m...

I had work this morning and it felt very stressful! I'm not sure why. Maybe just how soon the end of the Oasis year is coming up and how many volunteers we still need. I don't know! Lots of people talked to me for a very long time, which was a little hard on me, having so much to do. After that, we had a whole hour to be at home before we were supposed to go to the Albino's for Ivy's 2nd birthday party. We're happy to be there and so glad they're our friends, but it would have been nice to have more time at home. I threw in some laundry and did a couple other things, then we had to go! We ended up spending over FOUR HOURS there. I wanted to cry by the time we left. No time to do anything productive at all!!!  I got home, got everyone bathed, clothes put away, and then went to bed. I have so much packing to do this week! I can't wait to go to the beach. 

Ah...a day of nothing, finally! I spent the morning relaxing and visiting, played some Zelda in the early afternoon, paid bills 🥳, and looked through birthday presents and cards. Tomorrow will be a busier day, but I'll just enjoy today for what it is.  Here are some photos MJ took from the party yesterday. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!! The big 4-0. It's exciting! I am so grateful for this life that I have lived...even the hard parts. It has been a good life, but an especially good last 15 years. The fact that God allowed my marriage with Ben to work, even though he wasn't saved when we got together is still astounding to me. And then bringing us all of these overwhelming, wonderful, loving, heart filling kids. It's just been such an incredible ride. I didn't even think I'd ever be a mom 20 years ago! To have a home that is safe, in a good area, and larger (by far) than any house I had ever lived in; to have a reliable vehicle that fits my whole family in it; to have jobs where I'm appreciated and I make decent money and work my own schedule; to have consistent, loyal, and loving friendships...I am just so entirely blessed and so entirely undeserving and so entirely grateful. What a nightmare my life would be without God. Here's to another 40 productive and love-fill...

Quality time with Ben!! He got home around 3 and we headed straight out to go see the new Guardians of the Galaxy movie. It was a lot of fun! A little confusing at some parts 😅, but good. We thought it would end around 5:30 and then we'd head to dinner, but it didn't end until 6:30! We got to the hotel around 7:15, checked in and were like...what now? It's already so late! We wanted to get Fado for dinner, but...we wanted to relax even more. There is a P.F. Changs across the street from the hotel, so we ordered pick-up and grabbed that for dinner instead. The evening was really relaxing. Some dinner, some tv, some drinks, some QT. It was really nice.  I haven't been taking great pictures lately, which makes me sad. I just have been so busy lately! I haven't had any time to be intentional with my photos.

So busy! I finished getting everything ready for dad and Marme's visit and I have all of the supplies I need for the party. Ben and I leave tomorrow for our night away!!! I'm really excited. Definitely a little anxious that something will go wrong with the kids (Ollie specifically), but she's old now and everything will be perfectly fine. I'm just looking forward to almost 24 hours of only worrying about myself. 😅Selfish, I know. But it's true!  I'm so glad my parents are here and will get to celebrate my birthday with me. Happy!!!!