May 22, 2023 - Monday

I got my groceries delivered today and it was wonderful. :) I also ordered like $1,000 worth of stuff, because I decided to make travel bags for the kids for the trips this summer. WHY do I do these things to myself??? They don't need anything else! Nonetheless...they're going to have more things. Really hoping for a decent couple days of driving! 

I am very seriously considering homeschooling. I can't stop thinking about it. I'm going to try this French curriculum over the summer and we'll see how it goes. If it's fun and I'm liking it, maybe we'll just go for it! If it's terrible and I'm a sucky, horrible teacher and I'm super angry at my kids every day...well, maybe we'll hold off for a bit. 

The truth is, I'm scared. I'm scared of peer pressure. It might sound silly, but it crushed the joy out of me as a kid. The trouble I got into was due, in large part, to the people I surrounded myself with. I was always around people who made bad decisions and, surprise, I made really bad decisions too. Bad people around me, combined with me being a terrible, rebellious person, made for some shitty teenage years. I mean, there was a lot of other stuff too, TRUE, but that was a lot! I don't want that for my kids. Drugs, and the push for everyone to change their sexuality/gender, alcohol, atheism, bullying, hyper-sexuality...you name it, it's waiting for my kiddos to discover in public school. I hate it. 

I also hate being controlled. Right now, school rules our entire lives. Pick up and drop off times are the clock around which I order my days. We plan all of our vacations around the school schedules, so everywhere we go, we're packed in with all of the other families who have to schedule their lives around their kid's schools. We wake up early because we have to. We go to bed early because we have to. We don't visit Delaware because we can't miss school. It's just a big frustration for me that will literally never end as long as my children are in school. 

There's a lot more, beyond these things, that are actually based on the quality of education my kids receive and how they're forced to slow themselves down for the slowest learner in the class. How they have to learn whatever the school tells them to learn, rather than focusing on what they're good at or enjoy. How they have to focus weeks and weeks of the school year preparing to take state testing to prove that the school is doing a good job. How they waste HOURS, LITERAL HOURS, of their days standing in line, waiting, doing absolutely nothing. It's a waste! And I can't stand it. 

We'll see what happens!