May 27, 2023 - Saturday




I've been spending a lot of time praying for something that I don't know how to name lately. It's not patience or endurance, or even positivity, but I feel like it has something to do with all of those things combined. I want to really feel the joy of just being. You know? I am so grateful for this life, yet I find myself ready to lose it over whining, or constant tattling, or kids fighting. Why? Why am I so short-tempered? Why am I always trying to escape the very things that I know I am grateful for? I don't want to "lose myself" in my phone or in a book when my kids want to talk to me or are just trying to connect. I want to put my things down, look them in the eyes, and listen. Like, really listen. I do it some, but most of the time I'm just trying to survive or something. I don't know. I want to be better. I want to have time for just sitting and joking around or coloring or whatever it is they want to do with me! Praying, praying, praying that I can grow in this area. 

We finished up the drive today and it was great. We had one long-ish stop at DQ, where everyone actually ate the food we bought them, so we treated everyone to ice cream after lunch! I had the wrong city typed into the map, so we went 30 minutes out of our way, towards Myrtle Beach instead of Surfside Beach. I had about 5 minutes of wanting to die, but we all moved past it quickly, thankfully. So glad the drive is over though. Whew! 

It was raining for the entire day, but during a little lull, we headed down to the beach. :) It was pretty funny. Ollie was crying and trying to run back to the condo, but mostly everyone just enjoyed the wind and the crazy experience. The photos I took looked so much better on my camera than they do in Lightroom, but that's ok! I certainly wasn't photographing everyone in ideal conditions. 

Me, Ben, and Jonas played Terraforming Mars for HOURS tonight. 😭 SO LONG! And as we were cleaning up, getting ready to go to bed, Clemi got up...SLEEPWALKING!!! Oh my gosh. I am so freaked out. So instead of working on this blog tomorrow morning, I am staying up super late (it's already 11:45) and writing this blog, in case she gets up again. 





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