November 20, 2023 - Monday


Today was a tough day, physically and mentally. School went well this morning and then I got to work with dad. I FINALLY got to do significant work. I cut the holes in the ceiling and put in the new lights and I replaced the drywall in most of the places where the drywall was missing...which ends up being so much work! Just getting the drywall sheet laid down, measuring the space on the wall, measuring and tracing the patch, cutting it all with a knife, then carrying it into the bathroom, putting it on the wall, screwing it in, and starting again with the next piece. Most of the pieces were 8' long, but I had a few smaller ones to do too. It was tough! But at least I felt like I was actually of some use. Meanwhile, dad finished up with the electric work and I am so glad that part is over. 

Too late, I realized that I hadn't even started the food for Friendsgiving tonight. It was already 4pm by the time I figured out that I needed to start cooking! I got everything made, showered, and then we headed out. I feel like I haven't seen people in forever. But a part of me doesn't really care, which is sad. I've just been in a stick to myself kind of state of mind lately. 

Ben's stupid pain came back last night and I just feel this oppressive blanket of anxiety and stress dropping over me, even though it hasn't impacted me much yet. I can't help but think about what this Christmas season is going to look like with him being incapacitated and me being in charge of absolutely everything, basically single-parenting. Thinking about carrying up and setting up the Christmas tree on my own, planning our trip to DE on my own, wrapping all of the presents on my own, and on and on. I need to be praying for stamina, strength, patience, compassion, and, of course, healing for Ben. 



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