March 6, 2025 - Thursday


I am just not feeling anything right now. My prescription for the birth control pill (used to control my hormonal surges) ran out and wasn't filled in time for me to restart right after my period. I was really hoping that it wouldn't make a huge difference and that maybe my hormones had settled down. Unfortunately, that does not seem to be the case. I spent hours spiraling today, thinking about how nobody loves me and how frustrated I am that I'm the only person who does anything to contribute to this household. I KNOW those things aren't true, but they felt so true. I'm guessing that this is my crazy hormones talking to me. Fun, fun! It'll be another 2 weeks or so until I can restart the stupid pill. Until then, I'll just keep trying to talk myself out of being depressed and miserable? That should work, right?? 

We went to CACH today and, again, I was put into the pre-k room. (Probably because they don't appreciate me or care about my preferences. j/k j/k But that's where my mind wanted to go!) It was fine. Not fun at all, but fine. What was fun was that Leslie came to visit with Elliott and Evsen! I was in Elliott's class, so I got to hang out with him. I did get to see firsthand some of what Leslie was talking about. He was an angel while she wasn't there, but he basically just screamed and cried from the time she showed up on. I know she was feeling pretty frustrated about that. 

After group, I was determined to get home and do the rest of our curriculum for the week. Alas, I started feeling crazy so...no school ended up happening. Instead, I frantically ran around the house cleaning in preparation for my parents' visit. I know that I don't need to clean for them... Well, I kind of do. Both of them have made comments about how filthy my house and car are. So, I guess I should reword that. I know that they want me to clean for them, but that doesn't mean I have to. Nonetheless, I get pretty crazy about wanting to clean things when they're coming over. So I ended up having all these racing thoughts about how I am entirely responsible for cleaning the house, planning the meals, doing the massive amounts of laundry, cooking the meals, homeschooling my kids, momming, and administrating every single thing that happens for every single person in our family. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed! 

*Photo of Ollie showing off the red marks her ballet leotard left on her armpits because it's way too small for her. 

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