May 19, 2022 - Thursday


This is 39. 

As I have gotten older, I've become more and more appreciative for life. Just the simple fact that I'm still alive. As I outlive my friends, brothers, cousins, and mother, I see the gift that life really is and how quickly, suddenly, and cruelly it can be taken away. Every day that I am allowed to spend with my husband and children is a privilege (not that I always feel like that or behave like that). 

I believe that God is real. I believe that I have an afterlife to go to when my body on this earth dies (Heaven). And I believe that I'll be surrounded by many people I love when I get there. STILL, I'm going to cherish the moments I have here, because I'm afraid of how different the experience is going to be. I know this life and all the sweetness it can offer and want to take advantage of the time I have here. I'm trying to remember to be grateful for it ALL, even when it's hard. 

39, for me, means a few wrinkles, a few gray hairs, lots of sagging body areas...*cough cough here's looking at you double chin*. It means pain in my feet and a lack of energy. But it also means wisdom, maturity, and lots of life experience. It's a good trade-off. I'll take a saggy apron belly + wisdom over a tight tummy + being an asshole (which I definitely WAS) any day. I'm at peace with the way things are today and will make peace with all the changes as they come. 

Life is good and I am so blessed to be alive. 




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