June 23, 2023 - Friday


Man, what a day. TGIF, right?!? VBS was a mess today. So glad it's over. I had a bunch of running around to do, dropping off and picking up and whatnot. Then I worked for a while. THEN, the whammy of the day. Ollie snuck outside around dinner time to play with Ellie without asking. I guess that was obvious from me saying "snuck outside". Anyway, I asked Clem to go out and tell her to come in. Well, she said no to Clem and I heard a bunch of screaming. So I headed out there to get her. And guess what. She RAN from me. I don't think there's a single parenting thing that pisses me off more than when my kids run from me. It's puts me in a very challenging position that inflames my temper like nothing else. Do I chase them??? No. So stupid and embarrassing. Do I give them what they want? Nope. Definitely not. Do I just stand there like a moron waiting for them to give up and listen? Yep. That's me. The big ol' moron standing in the middle of the road, trying to convince their kid to come inside and accept their consequences. I waited, talked, asked patiently, and threatened for about 5 minutes before I lunged over, grabbed Olive, and picked her up to take her inside. And then SHE STARTED SCRATCHING MY FACE. Like, seriously f'd up my face and neck. I turn her around and football carry her so she can't hurt me anymore and she starts biting my freaking arm! I pinch the crap out of her so she stops, and carry her in, blood welling up on my face from her scratches. OMG. Never, in my 11 years, have I ever been assaulted by one of my kids like this. I stop inside, spank her, and send her up to her room. 

I am honestly just reeling. I'm so pissed still, but it's not really that. It's more that feeling of, man, I try so hard and I'm still somehow doing it all wrong. How is it possible that I'm still messing it up this bad? 

Ollie is going to spend the weekend paying for her bad decisions. She's grounded from seeing Elliana tomorrow and I'm going to purposely have her sisters outside playing. She's also going to bed early the next two nights. I guess it's not that much of a consequence, but what more can I really do to a four-year-old? Gosh, I'm just praying this isn't the start of some crazy anger issues that I have no idea how to deal with. 



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