May 20, 2024 - Monday


Today turned out to be pretty nice. Ben woke up in a horrible, anxious, panicked mood and I urged him to just take off work and get the things done that he's feeling panicked about. Yes, he'll be more behind with work, but at least everything else will be caught up. He actually took my advice! And he eventually did calm down. I spent a lot of time cleaning and doing laundry today. Again. I also made the kids clean a lot too because I cannot return to a messy house again! Every time I think about leaving for DE tomorrow, I feel sick to my stomach. I do not want to go on this trip. But I don't feel anxious enough to cancel. It'll be ok. I think it's just the packing and driving that I'm dreading so much. I'm really looking forward to being with my parents and seeing family. I think it's the right choice. I'm not sure it was the right choice for Ben to join us, but that was his own decision to make and he made it. And he did make a really good point about it. While we were discussing options, he said: I don't want to be the kind of guy that prioritizes work over family. My family is much more important and I need to act like it. I thought that was really wise and I love him for that. I wish he could let go of the stress that work causes more often though. He has been drowning in it lately and I think he's really going to be struggling in DE.

Thankfully, all of the cleaning, laundry, and prep is done now. We're not leaving until early afternoon tomorrow, so I'll pack then (instead of in the 90-degree heat that we're having today). Ben and I took the kids over to the Hilliard splash pad for some fun and I ran into four other co-op moms there! Kind of a bummer that I felt like I needed to abandon Ben and talk to them, but also fun that I got to visit with them! And we're doing an early pizza and a movie night tonight, since we won't be home on Thursday. I'm excited for that! 

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