January 19, 2022 - Wednesday


I had the EGD procedure done yesterday and it was pretty nerve-wracking. Thankfully, Melis was able to be here with Ollie and the appointment was late enough that Ben and I could see the kids off to school. Logistically, everything went great. Honestly, all around, everything went great. It just sucks being in a hospital gown, having an IV, being put under, etc. Ben gets really uncomfortable seeing me that way and I am always full of anxiety leading up to any hospital visits. The EGD showed that everything is normal and that was my last requirement to get bariatric surgery. I will have an appointment with the surgeon at some point and we'll discuss options one more time. BUT things are really behind because of COVID right now. They stopped doing elective surgeries sometime in December and they still haven't started back up. So that means that once they do start back up, I'll still have a 6 - 8 week wait. I'm not feeling upset about it, I just wish I felt more capable of losing some weight on my own. I really need to lose some for Alisha's wedding next month...since I honestly don't really fit in the dress and they don't sell any larger sizes!!! I may just have to plan to alter it somehow. It's just across the chest that it's extremely tight. Maybe Spanx would work?? I have no idea what to do! Anyway, I'm not going to stress about it today. 

I slept terribly last night, which was a little surprising to me. I was exhausted after I woke up from anesthesia and figured I'd sleep like the dead. In fact, I didn't fall asleep until 1:00am and woke up at 5:45am and could not fall back asleep! That never happens to me. I tried to stay productive today, despite being tired. I painted the walls some (the two-year so far project of painting the kitchen), cleaned, did some laundry, painted with Ollie (I've learned to only use colors that won't mix into brown!), and took her to Target. 

As we were leaving Target, I got a call from the school that Clemi's throat is red and her tonsils are red and swollen, so I went and grabbed her. While I'm perfectly fine with getting her from school early and know that these things just happen sometimes, I'm also feeling really frustrated about my plans for the week being messed up. I was supposed to go to Brittany's house tomorrow to take her 32-week pictures and visit. Her birthday is in a few days, so I had plans to grab her a little treat and I had already gotten the pineapple for her picture. Now it's like, when will I be able to go out again? How long is this going to trap us in the house? I'm sure I'll have to cancel with Melis on Friday too. :(

I just wish I could shut off my emotions sometimes. I have SO MANY FEELINGS! It's just too much sometimes. Why am I always feeling stuff?? 😅 




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