September 6, 2023 - Wednesday

Oh, man. Today blew. Chunks. I woke up at 6am and was just go, go, go from then on. I guess the whole day wasn't vomit-worthy. I did do some baking before the kids got up. But there was also way too much busy-ness and too little productivity. I went to a staff meeting this morning, although I told Nathan I was going to quit if I had to continue doing morning staff meetings. This was supposedly my last one. I don't think he thinks I'll actually do it. Maybe I won't. But I might. I probably will. 

I tried to squeeze four hours of school into the hour and a half we had after we got home and then Jonas threw a huge tantrum because his math is "SO BORING". So I told him if he got all of the answers correct on the work he had done so far, I'd like him skip forward. He got half of them WRONG. So. I call bs. Anyway, it took up a half hour of our school time and pissed me off. I got to relax a little during quiet time and then Ben went to the car dealership and texted me constantly for the next two hours. 

I spoke to Ashley face-to-face this evening and apologized to her again. We talked through some of what happened. I know I texted an apology a while back, but I thought it actually needed to be aired out. I spoke to someone at CT on Sunday who had been in a verbally abusive marriage and shared her insights with me...along with enlightening me on some of the mistakes I made with Ashley. It was really helpful for me to be able to change my perspective on the situation. Honestly, it was an answered prayer! Which is really cool. She seemed receptive and we both got a little teary-eyed. I'm hoping it will be a little smoother for us moving forward. I know it'll be a little awkward at first, but I think this was a big step in the right direction.