December 25, 2023 - Monday
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! Whew! What a day! So crazy that we spend over a month getting ready for an event that is over so quickly. And, honestly, by the night time, I'm over it already. Like, okay, let's move past Christmas now. It's kind of sad.
The day was pretty magical, overall. I didn't sleep well again last night, but better than the night before and I stayed in a great mood during the entire present opening process. As I watched everyone open their gifts it just started weighing on me more and more heavily how materialistic the whole day is, and always has been, for me. It's tough to imagine it being a different way, but we really don't need so much stuff! I love to see the kids happy, but their happiness over receiving gifts is always short-lived and then they're just whining for more, more, more. Anyway, I don't want to turn this into a gripe about materialism and my failures as a parent. It was a good day. It's just, by the end of the day, I was burnt out and feeling kind of sad about all of the money spent, time spent, and effort spent on this one day that is already over.
JUSTINA CALLED ME TODAY!! So. Long story, but I'll try and shorten it. Chris called me for the first time since mom died this morning. He called three times in a row, back to back. I missed the calls, but called back within a minute. He didn't answer. I started panicking and felt SURE that something terrible happened to Justina. When you've lost as many family members as I have, that's where your mind goes! Well, he finally answered the phone, after a half hour of anxious calling on my part. He was drunk OFF HIS ASS and just wanted to say merry Christmas. *grrr* Anyway, we talked for a bit and caught up a little...as much as you can with a super drunk person. He invited us to visit them in New Orleans and, while that is tempting, because I've always wanted to go there, I don't really want my kids exposed to that kind of life. I made it out of there, alive, thankfully, and I don't want them to have to know that fear and anxiety. I asked him for updates on Justina and told him she hasn't responded to my texts in two years. We got off the phone. Next thing I know, Justina was facetiming me! I missed that too, but she also texted and said she had no idea I was trying to reach her and she loves me. I called her back and we talked for a long time, catching up on life. She told me in a roundabout way that she had changed her number years ago and "must not have given me the new one"...which...okay. I just wanted to move past that and told her how grateful I was that she called today. So glad to have heard from her!
Dennis and Hazel came over for their annual visit to our house. Kind of sad! But it's true. They hung out for a few hours and me and Hazel chit-chatted the whole time. It was nice and relaxing. We got Chinese food for dinner and they headed out immediately afterward. Once they were gone, it was time to start prepping cinnamon rolls for breakfast and chocolate cake for Clem's birthday. Busy, busy, busy!




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