February 13, 2024 - Tuesday

Man, I'm feeling down today. Would there be any point to using one of those mood trackers? Or would it just show me that I'm sad a lot of days of the year. 😅 I had a revelatory moment with Ollie this morning when it became clear to me that I am not going to be capable of teaching her. And maybe that's a lie, but it really feels that way. I just get so sick of fighting with her. The littlest things turn into these enormous outbursts from her and, the truth is, I don't want to deal with it! Each of the other kids has a foundation of group education. Like, they know how to sit in a classroom, listen to a teacher, and do schoolwork. There is no choice. They just have to do it. They also have that to compare homeschooling to and can say that being home is better. On the other side, there's Ollie, who still fights with me and tantrums like a 2-year-old, who can't stand to follow any directions or do any hard work, who has a conniption if she's ever corrected on the tiniest thing. I decided to email her old pre-school and ask them about their kindergarten class for next year. The director suggested that we have Ollie join the 4-year-old class for the rest of this year, so that she doesn't join the kindergarten class next year without any recent group education experience. I talked to Ben about it and he said it would be fine with him, but when I talked to Ollie, she gave me a firm and absolute NO. Is Ollie in charge though? I don't know what to do. I'm going to spend some time praying and thinking about this.