February 14, 2024 - Wednesday

Kind of the worst Valentine’s Day I’ve had in a long time. Idk. Maybe when I was still pregnant with Ollie and had my pee bag and felt awful all the time was worse. It’s not like anything particularly bad happened, but just a series of small, sad things. For instance, when I got up in the morning and went into the fridge to grab the creamer, I smelled something bad. I checked the dates on both the ground Turkey and the chicken and they were both expired.  As I picked up $20 worth of meat to throw in the trash, the chicken leaked all over me and I realized it had also leaked all over the shelf in the fridge. So, instead of doing Bible time with the kids, I cleaned old, rotten chicken juice out of the fridge.

A bright side to my day was that nobody fought me about school work. Ruby didn't even scream about school once! It was fantastic. But I was just feeling so darn sad that I had a hard time truly appreciating what a gift that was. I tried to be positive and normal. I even decided to take the kids to McDonald's for lunch! I had to drag Ollie out, kicking and screaming to treat her to lunch. Yay. I had the idea to take the kids out for a hike somewhere, but just ended up being a big old sad sack Eeyore instead, and sat like a lump, staring at the wall. 

When Ben got home, I was snarky and rude to him repeatedly and unfairly. He put up with it all the way through our "romantic seafood dinner", and finally was like, is this you or is this me? Then we got to have a mini argument that lasted for about 30 minutes. And the rest of the evening was tense and awkward. 

Praying that I am less of a jerk tomorrow and that I can gather some energy to do this darn dance class.