Photo Journal - Josie Boettcher

We had Wild & Free today and it was all the way down at Slate Run. So we drive the 45 minutes to get there and then the kids just played on the playground for an hour! I was so frustrated. I drove 45 minutes for my kids to play on a playground. Like, could we not have done that a little closer? We did eventually walk down to the creek, but I felt uncomfortable the whole time, because of how much poison ivy was around. I could see it everywhere! I did corner Val and talk to her about all of the drama that's been happening. It sounds like she's not going to change the day now...maybe? I have no idea what's going on and it sounds like she doesn't know either. I just feel completely neutral about whether or not she stays in charge of things, as long as it remains on Tuesdays and Cass can't threaten/hurt my kids anymore. Those are the two things that are most important to me. Me not having to lead would also be a plus! But I think some other people are feeling differ...

It was a decent day. Nothing particularly good or bad happened. We did all of our schoolwork, for a change, and went to the library. The kids spent quiet time outside, while I played Zelda. Then I cleaned, prepped for dinner, worked on laundry, and spent time working on the garden gate. Before I knew it, it was 7:30 and Ben was about to fall asleep, laying in bed. So I guess he decided not to go to HC. *rolling my eyes* I finished putting away clothes, then laid in bed watching tv on and off between putting kids to bed. Big day!

CT went ok this morning, but TNT is struggling! They just can’t seem to get more than 2 people there each Sunday and I don’t want to step in too much because I’m worried someone might quit. It’s a tough spot to be in. Ben was grumpy and pissy by 11:20, demanding that we leave right away. So frustrating that he does this every Sunday!! When we got home, we had a talk about things we could do to help him be more patient after CT. I’m supposed to be available to work until noon, first off. Secondly, I NEVER get to go over and visit with HC people because Ben just doesn’t give me that time! It’s a bummer. He suggested we pack lunch and try that for a couple of weeks. Hoping it helps! I decided not to do yard work today. Ben had a list of like 15 things he wanted to get done and I just chilled all day long. Until my stupid volunteer appreciation “social”, that is. Here’s the thing. We all just want to express to our Oasis volunteers how much we love them and appreciate them, but we don’t kn...

I had nothing I HAD to do today and it was WONDERFUL!!!! I got up, finished reading my book, drank some tea, played some Zelda and then took the kids to the fish store. When we got there, Clementine realized she had no. shoes. on. whattheheck. So Jonas and I went into the store, while the girls all waited in the van, wreaking havoc. That was pretty nerve-wracking! After that, we went to Chick-fil-A for some lunch and then I played some more Zelda! Not a bad beginning to a day, honestly. Pretty darn good.  Ben got home from playing MtG around 1:30 and we went right outside and got to work. Four hours later, and three panels of the fence are up! The front panels will take a little finagling. I'm a little worried about it and there are some things about the project that did not go as planned. I think that I should have given myself a few extra inches of fencing to work with. My measurements were so specific and exact (in hopes of escaping issues with weeds and grass growing in cracks ...

Today was not a bad day. I decided to cancel school, since it was such a busy week prepping for the academic fair and because I still have so much to do to get the garden ready. I think it was a good choice! Jenny came over in the morning and then the kids played outside for hours and hours and hours. I had to go to Home Depot to get some more supplies and it was a real poop-fest. It was really hard to get all of the things I needed alone, simply logistically. I needed two carts, but I'm just one person, so I had to check out twice. And each time, the cashier was weird and made things awkward. I had to get a wheelbarrow unlocked and it took no less than 15 minutes for someone to come out, unlock it, and help me to my car with it. I would have preferred to just do it alone. Then, as I'm loading up the van with lumber, a man from a nearby vehicle jumped out to help and, while I appreciate his help, I didn't have that much to load, and it felt unnecessary. Still, always good t...

Today was the Academic Fair that we've done so much to prepare for! We were so well prepped that I spent an hour reading this morning before it was time to go. So proud of these kiddos for all of their hard work, getting their boards ready for this. We got extra lucky today because Ben was able to come with us for a bit! Next year, I'll have to make sure that they prepare what they're going to say beforehand, because they had a little bit of a hard time presenting their boards. Ollie completely froze up and hid behind me and/or cried loudly when people asked her about her board. On the way home she said, "Now everyone knows how terrible I am at French." And it's just not true! She is good at it! She just doesn't handle being put on the spot very well.  We did some work outside this afternoon, getting the garden area prepped. It feels like we've done so much, but there is still SO much to be done. Hoping the weekend gives us lots of opportunities to wor...

I don't know why I'm drawing such a blank on the day. Hmm...school, academic fair boards, lots of emotions from Ruby, choir practice for Clemi, errands, dinner, repotting plants, shower. Woo. Big day!  Ruby is having a lot of big feelings lately and has spent a lot of her days recently crying and screaming. I've started to try to get her to talk to me about it and she told me she thinks she's just not trying very hard to control the way her feelings come out. Here's hoping things get a little better!  For my part, I feel like my emotions are doing a little better. I'm still feeling depressed, but maybe not quite so all over the place? I'm feeling a lot less pessimistic and angry, at least. I was even thinking I should see if HC people want to get together for a Friday evening dinner at our house sometime soon. 

We headed to Wild & Free at Sharon Woods this morning and hung out there for a couple of hours. Afterward, we dropped the bags at Main Campus, grabbed some McD's and headed home to work on the kids' academic fair boards for Thursday. It wasn't a good day or a bad day. Just a day. That sounds super depressing! It was fine.  I went to book club tonight, but hadn't finished the book and only stayed an hour because I promised Ollie I'd put her to bed tonight. It was, honestly, a good time. I liked the seat I sat in and got to talk to some people I never talk to. AND it was right at Bridge Park. AND I got a parking space right in front of the door to Fado!!! THAT was amazing. :) 

I don't even know what to say about today. It kind of sucked? But it wasn't terrible. We worked on the kids' tri-fold boards for the academic fair on Thursday ALL morning. We made a lot of progress, but I'm basically having to do Ollie's for her, since she can't read or write. 😑 Around noon, I took Jonas to a science fair and meeting for a 7th grade and up co-op that focuses on language arts and science. The science fair was super cool, but the leaders of this co-op are not very...charismatic, and the meeting was pretty terrible. When it was time to leave, Jonas said, "I want to get out of here. Immediately. I hate this place." So...now I have an uphill battle if Ben and I decide that this is the best route for him. I think I'm fine with him continuing on next year in the same way we've been going this year, but I'm not really sure. The entire drive home, Jonas complained about all of the things he didn't like and, I had to admit, they...

Oasis was a lot crazier than I was expecting today, considering so many people were out for the servant team retreat. But we got through it! We left a little earlier than usual, since Ben was hosting MtG here at 12:30. I chilled a little and played some Zelda, then spent 3 1/2 hours outside, cutting and building. I got a lot done! But then I realized I made a measuring error in my plans, so I'm trying to figure out how to fix it now. I have not made a new plan yet. But both raised beds are done and three sides of the fence are built. Just waiting for the hardware cloth and I need to figure out how to make the materials we have work for the last side of the fence and gate. Otherwise, I didn't do much. My body is totally spent, after all that work. I watched some tv and started reading The Boys in the Boat . 

Today was busy, as always, but at least some of it was good. I hiked with Kylienne this morning, which was really nice. There wasn't any awkwardness and I didn't end our time together feeling like I wished I had been doing something else during that time, as I often feel. We're hoping to get together for hikes once a month, in the future. She's also thinking about being a SAHM! I hope she does it, but I know it's a really tough decision for her and Travis.  After that, I got home, had lunch, and then Ben and I went up to main campus to get the supply bags. There was a whole mess yesterday. They locked up admin early to go on the servant team retreat, but they locked the supply bag picker uppers out of admin in the process! And I don't have a key to admin, just the main building, so I couldn't get in either. I was texting back and forth with Gabe for an hour, getting instructions on how to get in there. I was so nervous I was going to set off the alarm and no...

It's almost the weekend! I would say I can't wait, but mine is full of obligations, so I'm not all that excited. I think I need to be out of this Oasis coordinator role soon. I need a Sunday each month to rest, I think. Or to not have stressful plans on a Saturday, so that day can be rest? I need one of the weekend days and, lately, I've gotten neither.  I met with Jenny this morning, for the first time in a while. I've been half avoiding church things and half having scheduling conflicts that have made it so we haven't gotten together, or even seen each other, really, in a long time. It was good. A little awkward at first, because I knew we had serious stuff to talk about today, but a huge relief after we talked. I don't know if she's relieved or just further burdened! But I know that it felt good to talk, cry a little, and share some things that have been weighing me down. Also, I'm feeling more and more certain that I need to be back on depression...

Today was our last class day for CACH co-op! I have mixed feelings about it. First, I'm really excited to not be teaching anymore, BUT that means that my responsibilities as class coordinator are about to kick in. I am excited to have less things required of me and the kids during the week, BUT we really enjoy the people in that group and I'm worried we'll lose touch over the summer. Goods and bads, for sure. We'll just have to make sure to be intentional with the friends we've made. I think it'll be hardest for Jonas, since he feels alienated from people so quickly and easily. We still have a bunch of stuff to do this month and in May, though, so I don't have to worry about any of it too much right now. We have two field trips still, an end of year party, field day, a moms night out, a planning meeting, and an academic fair. Plenty to do! Anyway, our little line dance class is over and it was fun. We had a party today and all of our songs came on the playli...

School this morning went really well. We were super productive and got everything done! Sadly, although we were done a little early, we did not get to take advantage of that extra time in the day. Instead, we headed out for my stupid staff meeting. The girls love it though, because they love playing at that indoor playground. I couldn't help but feel that it was a complete waste of time. All we did was talk about recruitment and 4th street hasn't had a single applicant since I spoke to the congregation! So...I got nothing going on. And it's not like I'm getting up there again to beg. Our HC has SO much participation in Oasis that I really don't have anyone to appeal to there either, so it's just going to be up to God to get us our volunteers at this point! Thankfully, I do not feel stressed about it. I know that God will provide and the people will step up to help out.  After the staff meeting, we dropped Clemi off at her choir practice and then headed to Brit...

My period is SO HEAVY today. It is just killing me! Super painful and achy and I am feeling really drained. The weather was hot and sunny today, which the kids enjoyed a ton. It was a great day for Wild & Free and creeking! I couldn't believe it: every single one of my kids ended up swimming. *face palm* I was prepared with towels and changes of clothes, but I was really surprised that they just submerged themselves! I mean, it wasn't THAT hot.  In the evening, I met Anne at La Casita for some dinner and talked to her about some of the thoughts we've been having about church, hoping for prayer and advice. I don't know that she's got any advice to give, but it sounds like she'll be praying. Things between her and David seem to be improving a bit, which is a blessing, really. Even though I'm annoyed at him still! 

I started the day feeling pretty darn good. I had a plan, I had a positive attitude, and I worked towards my goals for hours. For some reason, a little before dinner, I just started breaking down. And, actually, I can pinpoint what set it off. The damn drill! Okay, since yesterday, I’ve started noticing that things are going missing. It started last night with our bedroom tv remote being gone. Ben falls asleep to the tv every night, so that messed up our whole evening (I mean, it was fine for me. I usually just read a book. But you know what I’m saying.) Today, the school tablet was missing, so Ollie did no real school stuff today and just kind of drew and played. Then, the screwdriver I use to fix the vacuum clogs was gone, and the straw scrubber brush was gone, and THEN, when I went to put together the wood I had cut to size for our new fish table, the freaking drill battery was almost dead!! And the charger was, you guessed it, GONE. I honestly believe my dad took it with him when h...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO RUBY!!!! To my unexpected, exceptional, interesting, quirky, beautiful girl, I wish all of the good things in this world and the next. This last year has been a good one for her. She has grown and thrived in our homeschool setting. She still gets angry and screams quite a bit, but the lasting, long-term meltdowns are few and far between nowadays and I've seen her grow in confidence and comfort in her school work and artistic endeavors. I'm so proud to be her mama and am so thankful for the unique perspective she brings to our every day life. I can't wait to see how she grows as an 8-year-old!!! I just love her to pieces.  Today was not a great one for spending time as a family. Aside from the busyness of church, I spent the entire afternoon away from the house and was emotionally drained when I got back home and had to retreat into myself for a bit. We had dinner together and then went out for ice cream and Ruby said it was the best birthday ever. So, I gu...

The morning wasn’t too bad, thanks to all of the prep I did last night! Ben went and got ice, so we packed up the coolers, packed up the car, and headed out to pick up the pizzas at 10:45ish. We got to the park, got the perfect tables, and were set up right around the time our guests started arriving. Not bad! The party was fun and very chill (also, chilly, thanks to the wind). The kids played for a very long time, we all ate and visited, then we did the obstacle course with everyone (except Brit who had to leave a little early). Jonas and Liam got into a stupid little spat and then Jonas got hurt, but ultimately, the party was a success! Ruby felt so loved by all of her special gifts and the time people spent with her. I saw glimpses of my little toddler Ruby today…my little sunshine girl. She was beaming with happiness and it made my heart soar. We got home pretty late, 2:45ish, and asked Maria to come in the evening so we could drive up to Delaware and get the damn fish. 😖 I was ex...

Stress levels have finally gone down a bit. The washer and dryer are moved back, and I can use the toilet normally again. No more side-saddle for me! Plus, the floor looks really nice. So that’s an added bonus, I guess. Still avoiding the fish thing at this point, but our tortoise arrived this morning! He/she is so stinking CUTE! So adorable. And they seem to be pretty healthy. They’re walking all around, eating, drinking, and investigating their enclosure. Since you can’t tell the sex of a tortoise until they’re a couple of years old, we’ll decide the gender and name soon. You can’t rush something this important!!!! (Some options are Comet, Cinnamon, Captain Holt, and Turbo.) Ruby’s party is tomorrow, and I got all of the shopping done last night and this morning. I spent the whole evening making dirt cups and getting everything prepped to take to the park tomorrow. I think I’m all set! I let the girls stay up late having a movie night and they were so excited. They watched Trolls 3 f...

School was a little tough today. I actually freaked out on the kids before we finished with all of the subjects and made them clean the entire house. Everyone has been half-assing their chores lately and there is ish EVERYWHERE all the time. I’m so freaking sick of picking up stuff all day long!!!! So yeah, a long lecture/rant at the kids and then a couple of hours of cleaning. Big fun.  Not really a great mental health day for me, I’d say. But having the house clean and the party planned was very helpful. Jonas finished the tortoise enclosure, and I did some research, so I feel a little less intimidated. I’m avoiding Trish about the fish right now, so that’s obviously totally handled. And I spent the afternoon working on the bathroom floor!!!! 🙌 It took a few hours, but grout is complete! Tomorrow, I’ll finally be able to move the washer and dryer back. Hallelujah!

Some really crazy anxiety kicked in today. I am so, so, so very overwhelmed! Even the smallest things are making me feel like a crazy person. I had a hair appt at 1 and you would have thought I was driving off to something terrible. But I did school and headed over anyway. I don’t really like the way my hair looks, but at least it’s not half and half yellow and black anymore!! And it only took two hours, rather than the 3-4 that's typical. Thankful for that! We had plans to meet the Johansons for dinner, but Mark was feeling sick (thank God, because I was going to cancel anyway) (I'm just realizing how shitty it is to thank God that someone else was feeling sick) so we postponed. Then I cancelled on our MNO that I pushed for because I am going insane. Here are the contributing factors: Ruby’s birthday party Saturday, for which I have zero finalized plans and/or supplies, unfinished bathroom floor and washer/dryer preventing anyone from using the toilet comfortably for a week no...

Last day of spring break! I’m so excited for the summer that it makes it really hard to want to do any more school, but we can do it! We’re almost there! We went to Wild & Free today at Whetstone. I had to have a difficult talk with Autumn about Cass hurting Clem and threatening my other kids. But I’m proud of myself for being brave enough to be honest with her. I told her that if he continues to behave that way, like even once more, we’re gone…and will likely take several families with us because none of us likes the idea of voluntarily taking our kids somewhere that they’re going to be scared and bullied. We talked for 45 minutes and it was a good conversation. I need to remember to be praying for them. It does not seem easy to be Autumn. We stopped by Lauren’s to drop off presents on the way home, then I did laundry and took care of my plants for a while. They’re growing so nicely! I relaxed for a tiny bit, prepared to do the tile grout tomorrow, and cooked a huge dinner. Ben an...