August 31, 2025 - Sunday

Today was a little rough for me. I have had a sore throat since yesterday that I was trying to ignore, so I started the day lagging a bit. Ben and I both overslept, so we didn't make it to prayer, and I barely made it there for the start time Sarah has set for people serving that week! When I got there, Matt, the other person in my position, was already there. I felt really confused because it's my week to serve, but he said he thought we were switching. The only dates we had switched were August 17th for the 24th. Like, it's in writing on Slack. But it's like he thinks we've switched permanently? I have no idea. I'm so confused. Then, he looks me in my eyes and says, "I just don't understand why I'm not on every week. It seems simpler." And I'm just like, "Yeah, I guess it can get confusing sometimes." *shrug* My insecurity tells me he wants me to step down so he has the role to himself, but when I brought it up to Rachel, Jenny, and Megan, Rachel was like, "No. It means nothing. He didn't explain what he meant, so it means nothing. Don't give it another thought." I was feeling pretty deflated though. After spending lots of time planning for my TNT meeting and feeling excited about that, I ended up feeling like I was overstepping and kind of infringing somewhere that I wasn't wanted. I'm glad I said something to my friends. Sometimes just voicing things has a way of expelling some of the darkest thoughts and it did help. I started the TNT meeting with prayer and Sarah said that I was going to lead and she seemed perfectly happy for me to do that, which both ended up giving me the confidence I needed. The meeting went well. The teachers seemed to take the feedback and direction well and Sarah seems happy with the plan to move forward. Here's hoping for some marked improvements in that classroom, for all of the volunteers and the kids! 

By the time we got home from CT, I was feeling pretty yucky. I spent some time processing veggies so they wouldn't be wasted before I laid down though! I pickled the hot banana peppers with some onions and seasonings, peeled and diced enough tomatoes for one can's worth (it took more of them than I thought it would! 7!), and oven-dried our chile peppers, then ground them up and stored them as chile flakes. I'm pretty pleased with the work! The whole point of the garden was to grow things that we'd use, and I've been struggling to make the time to do that, since we just don't eat enough of them fresh. I mean, cherry tomatoes have been used in Caprese salads all summer, which is awesome, but I still haven't found a use for the dozen cucumbers I have left. My goal is to pickle them, but how many pickles do we even need?? I'm not going to do the canning thing this year, so they won't be shelf stable. But pickling would give us the best chance of eating them and I do have the supplies, so I'll plan to do those this week before we leave.

By mid-afternoon, I was feeling terrible. I took some cold medicine, though, and brought Jonas out for a date. We got the roof for Murphy's cat house that we've been building and then went to Macy's. Jonas tried on 3 pairs of pants and loved them all. They varied widely in price: $7, $15, and $44!!! Of course, the $44 pair were his favorite, but as soon as he came out of the dressing room, he went to put them back on the rack. I know how much he struggles with finding clothes that make him feel cool and confident, so I just decided to buy them and then splurged on this awesome bomber jacket to be his winter coat...$100! I mean, adult coat prices are no freaking joke. Because it was all so expensive, I opened up a darn credit card, just to get that initial discount! I appreciate the 30% off but am annoyed about having another line of credit open. 

And then it was finally time to relax. I started to feel so miserable that I cried! Ridiculous. I spent the rest of the day laying and resting and drinking water. Pretty sucky. Praying and praying that it's just some kind of fluke and I feel completely better in the morning so that we don't have to cancel our BBQ!