December 28, 2025 - Sunday

Well, Ben didn't sleep much last night, maybe three hours, and still feels terrible from his cold, so he skipped out on church this morning, while the rest of us headed over to Love of Christ. The sermon was on gratitude and complaining and it was a really good reminder. While I did apply it to myself, I also applied it to Ben's life and ended up feeling really angry and sad by the time we got home. Why does he have to complain so much? Why is he SO freaking miserable all the time?? He acts like he has the worst life ever. A cold makes him feel like life is completely unmanageable. How can I even help him in this? Is it fair that I have to? No, it isn't fair, but that doesn't actually matter. I made a vow to him and him being in the throes of a terrible couple of years, emotionally, aren't an excuse for giving up...even though that's what I feel like doing half of the time. I cried on MJ's shoulder for a few minutes (literally), then brushed the tears away and got back to life. 

We went over to Patrick and Erin's for a couple of hours before the Boettcher party that evening and Erin didn't end up getting there until 20 minutes before we had to leave, so I was a little bummed to just kind of sit there like a third wheel with Ben and Patrick. I'm sure they would have liked to catch up a little without me sitting there, but I didn't bring my book! Darn it! The party at Bumper's house was really nice. They had a full spread of food and drinks, and the space was very comfortable. White elephant actually went ok this year, for once. I got a box of snacks, which wasn't terrible, compared to some of my past year's gifts! Ben got a hoodie that he is OBSESSED with, so that was a huge win! The kids all got showered with gifts, as always. And Ben and I were proven to be the stingiest adults of the bunch, as always. Everyone else got gifts for Ben and I, while we did not get gifts for any of the adults, except Ali. Everyone else also got all of the older teenagers at least $20 in gift cards or cash, where we gave just $10. *face palm* We really need to do better next year. It's just embarrassing, honestly. We're middle of the pack, financially, and we have no excuse to always have the worst gifts of everyone!

Katie pissed me off so bad tonight. She is the same age as Clem, but acts like a snobby 16-year-old. Clem was SO looking forward to hanging out with her on this trip. She brought a board game that she knows Katie loves so that they could play it together at the party. When Katie walked in, my girls all rushed up to her and gushed hellos. Katie walked past them without saying hello or even looking at them! They all looked at me, confused, and I didn't know wtf to think either. I knew she'd been getting brattier over the years, but this was a whole other level of shitty. Ten minutes later, or so, Clem and Katie were both getting their plates. Clem called to Katie and said, "I have a seat for you here!" Katie ignored her. She called again, "I have a seat for you, Katie!" Katie literally walked away, without even glancing at her, into the other room where the older (MUCH older) cousins were all sitting. Clem muttered, "Well, I guess I'll just follow you then." and went in there. A few minutes later, I walked in to check on them and Clem said, "Katie just told me she doesn't want me in here with them. She told me to leave." I can't imagine how humiliated she must have felt to be told that in front of all of her older cousins! I said, "Come sit with me! I love hanging out with you. Also, that was a super mean thing to say, and Katie was wrong for saying it." Clem shrugged and followed me out of the room. Katie never said a damn word to her all night, even when Clem brought up the game she brought for them to play together. I felt like smacking her! When we talked to Dawn about it, she just shrugged and said, "Yeah, she's a butthead." Like, wow. By not stepping in and saying something to your 12-year-old daughter, you're basically condoning that kind of behavior. Ali said she's been really struggling with Laila too, who has been abusing drugs and alcohol every single chance she gets lately (and who is also the only person Katie really wants to hang out with!), and Patrick said he's really been struggling with his kids too. All of this reinforces that we're at least taking a different path from all of them! I don't know if we'll end up with better kids, but it sure as Hell seems like it right now. I don't even want my kids around their cousins at this point.