October 2, 2022 - Sunday

I wonder, does everyone feel anxious on Sundays, as a rule, or just me? I definitely thought it was because of Monday morning meetings and how much they were ruining my weeks, but the time for them has changed to the afternoon. And while my anxiety has gotten better, it's still there. Why?? I spend all of Sunday stressing about all of the things I have to do to get ready for Monday. I look around my house and think, 'How in theHell am I going to get all of this done???' And I won't. I can't possibly. The house is a disaster, clothes are not cleaned, lunches are not made, breakfasts are not made, the kids are not clean. There is no way I will have it all done by tomorrow morning, no matter how hard I try. Sometimes, that helps me feel better. Like, what can I do to just make it through tomorrow morning? Okay, the kids need clothes to wear tomorrow and we need to pack their lunches, but Jonas can eat a granola bar for breakfast and the mess can wait. Also, am I allowed to do anything I like today? Am I allowed to relax at all? Am I allowed to spend any time doing anything productive that isn't Monday prep?? 

I did do some other things. Mostly, I unpacked from camping and cleaned the car. It was like a 3-4 hour job but I did it! I'm pretty proud of myself. There's just a lot that comes along with having a big family. You turn your back for a few minutes and a room is totally destroyed. You have 8 loads of wash a week, instead of 2 or 3. Making lunches means $100 worth of food and an hour of prep on Sundays. I accept it and I'm grateful for the kids, but it's tough to get it all done when you're doing it alone. Ben is usually very helpful with Monday prep, but wasn't feeling great today and was, therefore, completely useless. 😅 Thankfully, he doesn't read these posts anymore or I might have edited my wording there a little. Part of me would love to homeschool, just because I wouldn't have Monday-related stress anymore. Probably not worth it, just for that, but it would be very nice!