April 16, 2023 - Sunday


So my depression has still been lingering on. My parents were very "concerned" about me while they were here and all I could say was that maybe this is the first time they've had to hang out with me while I was a depressed adult, but this is not alarming behavior! I didn't really know what to tell them about it. I know I'm not as fun like this, but I can't just switch it off because I want it to go away. 

I worked this morning, of course, and didn't realize until 20 minutes before that I had to speak in front of CT about Oasis. It was really nerve-wracking for me, but I think it went ok. It's just a bummer that I didn't have more people sign up after I spoke. I was expecting a whole bunch! But I just got four. Four is certainly better than nothing though! I had two people walk up to me and tell me that they don't want to sign up so...thanks for that, people. 

While I was at CT, Ben and Clemi both developed pretty high fevers, and as soon as I got home, the care-taking began. I really didn't want to do it. I just wanted to relax, but I've been running around all day grabbing things, and cooking things, and bringing things to and from people. Giving baths, doing laundry and dishes, and on and on. It's ok. People get sick and it's my responsibility to take care of them, but it was still a bummer. 

I was sad to see my parents go this morning and I'm finding myself feeling super pissed at Jane right now about work. I thought everything was going fine, but on Friday she messaged me telling me that I've been inconsistent and sending her mixed messages, which is all total bs. She can be so hot and cold at times and she doesn't even realize she does it. It honestly just makes me want to quit. I don't want to quit, really. I like the work. I enjoy what I do and I usually enjoy working with her, but right now I just want to walk away and be like, shove it, Jane. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

May 3, 2025 - Saturday

Image
What a day! It literally rained from start to finish, but we packed as much into it as we possibly could! We had a great time visiting and hanging out. We had a fire and lots of great meals *brushes shoulder off*. The kids played well together and, as far as I know, there wasn't any drama! It was a bit exhausting, but I'm so glad that this retreat went well. Last year's was a bit of a bomb, with all the childcare drama happening behind the scenes. I feel like last year's retreat was a pre-cursor to our deciding to move away. Not that they actually had anything to do with one another, but they happened in such close succession that they seem related in retrospect. I drank a bit too much tonight and had a really fun time singing songs, while Tony played the guitar. Man, I wish I had talent with instruments!
Read more

November 9, 2025 - Sunday

Image
This is my favorite picture from the whole shoot!! I love it.  We went to CT this morning and I actually got to sit in on the teaching! Woo! It feels like that doesn't happen very often. We hung out in the cafe with friends for a little bit, then went to Chipotle for lunch on the way home.  We spent most of the day just relaxing! I started a photo book for our Maine vaca in September, and tried to get caught up with some other stuff, but it was mostly just a chill day. Jonas and Clem went to group and we stayed home, chillin'. Ben and I got in the hot tub with Ruby and Ollie for a little while, which was fun. It was snowing while we were in there!  
Read more

November 24, 2025 - Monday

Image
Today was a very rough day for me. It's not like everything went wrong, I just really struggled to manage my emotions. I had to run out, first thing, to get my pick-up order because there were things in it that we needed for breakfast. Then, somehow, we didn't get school started until almost 9:30. I started with Ruby and Ollie, as usual, and decided to check in with Ollie while I was reading. Okay, related side note, Ruby can't stand it when I ask Ollie questions and not her. But the thing is, Ruby remembers EVERYTHING she hears. She learns super well by just plain old listening. If I ask her questions, she answers them correctly and I never get to gauge whether or not Ollie is learning. She also always blurts out answers because she's so afraid I won't give her an opportunity to show us all how much she is learning. And I get it! She wants praise and to show me that she's a good student and she's learning. I understand. But, because of her constant eagernes...
Read more