April 5, 2023 - Wednesday

I had my Oasis meeting this morning and brought all the kids along. Nathan graciously offered to hold the meeting in the playground so that the kids could have fun while we met. It is always encouraging being at those meetings. It stung a little today though, hearing how much support Jayne Ann gets from her HC for her role in Oasis. Almost everyone volunteers, they all cheered for her and brought noise-makers and balloons for when she had to speak at CT about recruitment, and prayers for Oasis are a constant at their prayer groups. I want to list out all of the ways that my HC does not support me in those ways, but it's pointless. Suffice it to say, my HC is almost the exact opposite of hers. And I'm just feeling so discouraged lately that I want to quit anyway. I don't know how Anne did it with so little support for so long. It's really tough! 

After the meeting, we picked up some groceries and headed home. We were home for a half hour and then had to leave to take Jonas to drama tryouts. Of course, Ben had to work in the office today, so I brought all of the kids with me. It was torture for me, honestly. I played it off well, I think, but I was desperate to get into something comfortable, curl up in a ball, and just read a book or watch a show. Instead, I sat in a room at Calumet with three bored girls, one anxious boy, and a bunch of adults that I had to make small talk with for almost two hours. If only I had had the good sense to go late. *sigh*

I came home, made dinner, cleaned up, half-heartedly dyed Easter eggs, and laid in bed for the rest of the night. I never want to get up.