January 17, 2024 - Wednesday


Well, panic about tomorrow's co-op dance class has finally set in. 😅 I'm sure it'll be fine! There are only five girls taking the class with me and only one other adult will be in there. I don't have to know every dance perfectly, I just have to have fun! BUT. Having fun can be really hard for me sometimes, so....that's not really helping things much. I practiced dances for almost 2 hours this evening and I did set my playlist for tomorrow. I know 4/5 well and can do the other one with some guidance. I'm bringing my computer so that we can watch a tutorial if we have time. *sigh* I'm sure it'll be fine. It'll all be fine. Not looking forward to going tomorrow though! 

We had one of our two school days of the week today. It went well, but it was cut a little short because I had a staff meeting. The meeting was ok. Nothing great, but not bad either. I grabbed McDonald's for the girls on the way over, because I always forget about feeding them when I have a meeting. After the meeting, I tried to be productive and failed. I ended up reading and playing Zelda instead. I did get sweet potatoes in the oven for dinner and had food and a plan, although I forced Ben to do the actual cooking.

Ben keeps telling me he feels hate radiating off of me toward him. It's very frustrating. I obviously don't hate him. I am feeling...cold maybe? towards him. I kind of feel like I can't trust him and like he's constantly doing his best to annoy the shit out of me. WHY does he do that? Like, he keeps saying he feels like I hate him, but then he acts as annoying as humanly possible, knowing that it will piss me off. Does he need me to be someone I'm not and somehow start to find annoying things to be cute and funny? Because I don't see that happening any time soon. Ever, actually. Anyway, I'm not sure what to do about this. 



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