July 20, 2024 - Saturday


Today wasn't terrible, actually. The Shauls came over for dinner and hung out for a couple of hours. It was nice catching up with them for a bit. Kylienne, while not a very close friend of mine, is such a consistent and steady person. I was overcome with gratitude for her, earlier this week, when she ensured that we were still getting together for dinner and then texted later to discuss food. I think, that in my depression, I just don't have what it takes to keep momentum going. It'll all just stop if it's left up to me. And, often, in my friendships, it often feels like it is left up to me. I'm not trying to complain. We all have our seasons in life when things are hard and some of us are better at initiating than others, naturally. I'm just saying that during times of depression, I can't be counted on to be a good friend/daughter/wife/anything. I'm often barely scraping myself off the mattress in the morning, let alone planning dinners with friends. And that's why I felt so grateful to her. She did the thing I couldn't do and it made me feel really loved. 

Having them over for dinner necessitated a day of prep, which was good for me. I need to keep myself going, keep moving, even though I really don't want to do anything. But I made roasted veggies, baked mac n cheese, and a big, crusty loaf of bread. Dinner was delicious and we all had a good time. I did NOT take any darn pictures though, so here's a picture of sweet baby Ollie. 

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