September 2, 2024 - Monday


This has felt like a very long long weekend. I'm glad we still have a day but am a little sad about HC today. I know that I don't want to go to the BBQ. And Ben felt torn, but ultimately decided not to go (big surprise). So, we did nothing. I woke up and cleaned the whole house, top to bottom, and that was very satisfying. I haven't mopped in almost 2 weeks, so everything really needed a little attention, for sure. But I was done by 10 and was like, now what. Ben asked me on a date :), so we went to Grandad's for lunch and ran a couple of errands. We had another discussion about HC and I am feeling more decided against going. It just feels so awkward with everyone and, while Ben feels like it's natural that it feels awkward, I don't. I just don't! These are supposed to be my friends. I have had close friends decide to move away many times over the years and it made me really sad, but I spent as much time as I could with them before they left and loved them just the same. I feel like people are avoiding eye contact and barely speaking to me, like we haven't been "friends" for the last 5+ years. But I guess that's kind of the point. Maybe we haven't been friends but have just been in the same place at the same time. And that stings, just having the feeling that my doubts about people in HC were potentially reality all along. I'm trying not to judge harshly or to even overthink anything. I know that I have/had some true friends in my group, and they aren't the ones making things awkward for me. I'm going to have to be intentional to keep those relationships if I want to be the kind of person I feel like I am/want to be. 

Ben went to play MtG this evening and I got the kiddos in the hot tub, since it's finally cool enough to consider getting in there! It was a good afternoon/evening. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

May 3, 2025 - Saturday

Image
What a day! It literally rained from start to finish, but we packed as much into it as we possibly could! We had a great time visiting and hanging out. We had a fire and lots of great meals *brushes shoulder off*. The kids played well together and, as far as I know, there wasn't any drama! It was a bit exhausting, but I'm so glad that this retreat went well. Last year's was a bit of a bomb, with all the childcare drama happening behind the scenes. I feel like last year's retreat was a pre-cursor to our deciding to move away. Not that they actually had anything to do with one another, but they happened in such close succession that they seem related in retrospect. I drank a bit too much tonight and had a really fun time singing songs, while Tony played the guitar. Man, I wish I had talent with instruments!
Read more

November 9, 2025 - Sunday

Image
This is my favorite picture from the whole shoot!! I love it.  We went to CT this morning and I actually got to sit in on the teaching! Woo! It feels like that doesn't happen very often. We hung out in the cafe with friends for a little bit, then went to Chipotle for lunch on the way home.  We spent most of the day just relaxing! I started a photo book for our Maine vaca in September, and tried to get caught up with some other stuff, but it was mostly just a chill day. Jonas and Clem went to group and we stayed home, chillin'. Ben and I got in the hot tub with Ruby and Ollie for a little while, which was fun. It was snowing while we were in there!  
Read more

November 24, 2025 - Monday

Image
Today was a very rough day for me. It's not like everything went wrong, I just really struggled to manage my emotions. I had to run out, first thing, to get my pick-up order because there were things in it that we needed for breakfast. Then, somehow, we didn't get school started until almost 9:30. I started with Ruby and Ollie, as usual, and decided to check in with Ollie while I was reading. Okay, related side note, Ruby can't stand it when I ask Ollie questions and not her. But the thing is, Ruby remembers EVERYTHING she hears. She learns super well by just plain old listening. If I ask her questions, she answers them correctly and I never get to gauge whether or not Ollie is learning. She also always blurts out answers because she's so afraid I won't give her an opportunity to show us all how much she is learning. And I get it! She wants praise and to show me that she's a good student and she's learning. I understand. But, because of her constant eagernes...
Read more