November 12, 2024 - Tuesday


Well, another day of feeling pretty terrible. My throat hurts worse, but at least I don't have a bad headache today. I'm feeling like being sick will be the reason I don't go this weekend, rather than feeling forced into a corner and destroying all of the relationships there by blurting out that I JUST DON'T WANT TO GO! 

We did nothing today, other than school. Ben had a seriously awful panic attack this morning. He woke me up at 7am, crying, talking about all of these terrible things that were happening and how he's going to just give up on everything. He left for work shortly after, but texted saying he was leaving because he had a blowup at work. Apparently, he was supposed to have a biometric screening and the nurse was "incompetent". It sounds like he cussed her out and left? But he won't give me details. He was supposed to have a meeting with his director this afternoon, but instead, he came home, wrapped himself in his robe, and laid in bed for the rest of the day. I'm not sure what kind of backlash, if any, will come from this. His anxiety has been getting worse lately and this is the second panic attack he's had this month. This one was much worse than the last though. I know I can't force him to be proactive in seeking help for his mental health, but this is too much for me to handle alone. 

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