November 17, 2024 - Sunday


It was a pretty relaxing day today. I mostly just read and played video games. Ben went to MtG for a few hours and Jonas went to HC. Clemi went to an event at Meadow Park at 4:45, so for a couple of hours, it was just me and Ollie. 

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Thinking about how many HUGE decisions I made over the summer, while I was dealing with the worst mental health crisis I've ever had in my life. I told several of my close friends that I literally "thought I was going crazy" and, yet, I totally trusted myself to make these enormous life-altering decisions. I hurt my friends and I put Ben in several uncomfortable positions, where he was forced to compromise what he felt was right. I feel like a fool. And I'm trying to get to the point where that's ok; where I can say that I needed a true lesson in humility and accept it as, ultimately, good for me. That being said, I am going to HC tomorrow to see if I can find a place there again, and I'm also going to rethink and spend lots of time praying about DE. That decision has thrown everything into upheaval, especially Ben's mental state. I truly believe that his worsening agitation and anxiety stems from it. I'm not going to do anything rash or make any brash decisions this time around, but I'm going to go back to God with it all and try to make things feel right again. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

May 3, 2025 - Saturday

Image
What a day! It literally rained from start to finish, but we packed as much into it as we possibly could! We had a great time visiting and hanging out. We had a fire and lots of great meals *brushes shoulder off*. The kids played well together and, as far as I know, there wasn't any drama! It was a bit exhausting, but I'm so glad that this retreat went well. Last year's was a bit of a bomb, with all the childcare drama happening behind the scenes. I feel like last year's retreat was a pre-cursor to our deciding to move away. Not that they actually had anything to do with one another, but they happened in such close succession that they seem related in retrospect. I drank a bit too much tonight and had a really fun time singing songs, while Tony played the guitar. Man, I wish I had talent with instruments!
Read more

November 9, 2025 - Sunday

Image
This is my favorite picture from the whole shoot!! I love it.  We went to CT this morning and I actually got to sit in on the teaching! Woo! It feels like that doesn't happen very often. We hung out in the cafe with friends for a little bit, then went to Chipotle for lunch on the way home.  We spent most of the day just relaxing! I started a photo book for our Maine vaca in September, and tried to get caught up with some other stuff, but it was mostly just a chill day. Jonas and Clem went to group and we stayed home, chillin'. Ben and I got in the hot tub with Ruby and Ollie for a little while, which was fun. It was snowing while we were in there!  
Read more

November 24, 2025 - Monday

Image
Today was a very rough day for me. It's not like everything went wrong, I just really struggled to manage my emotions. I had to run out, first thing, to get my pick-up order because there were things in it that we needed for breakfast. Then, somehow, we didn't get school started until almost 9:30. I started with Ruby and Ollie, as usual, and decided to check in with Ollie while I was reading. Okay, related side note, Ruby can't stand it when I ask Ollie questions and not her. But the thing is, Ruby remembers EVERYTHING she hears. She learns super well by just plain old listening. If I ask her questions, she answers them correctly and I never get to gauge whether or not Ollie is learning. She also always blurts out answers because she's so afraid I won't give her an opportunity to show us all how much she is learning. And I get it! She wants praise and to show me that she's a good student and she's learning. I understand. But, because of her constant eagernes...
Read more