November 23, 2024 - Saturday


I finished my 5th 1,000+ page book in a row this morning! The 6th book in the series comes out on 12/6 and I can't wait. I'm not sure how I'll fill my free time until then. :) Ben says he's worried I won't have anything to do that relaxes me, but I'm sure I'll find something!

We decided to take the kids to a movie and then walk around the mall. We saw The Best Christmas Pageant Ever and it was really good! It might have been more of a pizza and a movie night kind of movie, honestly. Ollie got a little bored and, in truth, it wasn't very exciting. But it was a Christian Christmas movie and I really did like it. The older kids enjoyed it a lot. We went to the mall afterwards and it did get a little stressful eventually, but we didn't stay long. Ben stopped to buy MtG cards on the way home, and that REALLY stressed me out. He spends so much money on cards! And he rationalizes it by selling cards too, so that he usually evens out. I'm not sure why it bothers me. I need to just let it go. 

By the time we got home, I was so overstimulated and upset that I went upstairs and sat alone for a couple of hours. Here's the thing. Movies for the 6 of us $75. Random crap at the mall $50. Wendy's Frosty's on the way home $24. Number of thank you's I received from my kids? ZERO. ZERO!!!!! And it feels pointless to tell them they should thank us because then there's no sincerity there. They have no real gratitude. They take it all for granted! They have literally no idea whatsoever what it's like to go without things they need...or even want! And is that their fault? Or is it ours? Maybe a little of both? Either way, I'm irritated and feel like they shouldn't get any Christmas presents. 



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