November 20, 2024 - Wednesday


I ended up sitting in the car for about three hours straight today and, by the time I was done, I just wanted to explode. I am so glad the Westerville choir ends soon, because I just don't think I can handle the busyness of Wednesdays much longer! I know how much Clemi loves it and it IS worth the sacrifice, but I am not built to be a taxi mom. It was raining/snowing all day and there was traffic everywhere we went. Just a mess. 

When I finally got Clem and Ruby dropped off at carol choir, I started to work on dinner. I had planned this meatloaf shepherd's pie thing and I'm not thrilled with how it turned out. Everyone said they liked it, but it was a little weird. Always sad to use a bunch of expensive ingredients on something that isn't good. I have a feeling those leftovers will sit for a while! 

I decided not to go to small group tonight because I just wasn't feeling it. The whole afternoon had felt rushed and stressful, and I didn't want to rush through dinner and get everyone out of the house to go to group too. We also announced to the kids that we may stop going to this small group and got a few tears from Ruby and Clem. It is a really sad thing for them. All of these changes and transitions have been tough and I'm going to force them to go through more. But I have to say, that if I'm weighing it out, my spiritual health is more important than their socializing. That doesn't mean I don't feel compassion for them, because I really do. And not just compassion for them, but also guilt, and doubt, and shame. But I still don't think this small group is right for us long-term. 

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