October 29, 2024 - Tuesday

Dude. I wish I could have a couple of days in a row without Ben telling me, "I think you should...XYZ." It's become an almost daily thing, Ben telling me how he feels like I should be improving myself. Why is he constantly doing this now? When I bring it up with him, he's like, "I'm not letting you steamroll me anymore. If I see an issue, I think it's right to bring it up." But it's all subjective. These are just his freaking opinions on what he likes and doesn't like about me. And then he can't understand when I'm feeling distant and frustrated with him. I bring stuff up with him that I don't like too, like how he NEVER starts the damn dishwasher and we all wake up in the morning to grab bowls and they're still sitting in there dirty! But at least I don't present it in such a high and mighty way, like I've already discovered the secrets to maintaining perfection and here's how I think he should fix himself so that he can be more like me. I just say, "I wish you could try harder to remember to start the dishwasher when it's your turn to do the dishes." Screw him. I'm so irritated. Sometimes it feels like our marriage is doomed. I have no idea how either of us are going to stand each other for the rest of our lives. 

I skipped Wild & Free today so that we could get school done. We have a field trip Thursday and co-op Friday, so we needed to get our three days in somewhere. Dad and MJ are coming tomorrow, and I feel like I should be doing something to prep for that too, although I'm not really sure what. I just have this vague feeling of needing to be worried.